Red78

I didn't go to work today, I had a headache, I was up drinking last night, more than a bottle of wine. It's summer here and the weather has been fantastic but I have used it as an excuse to drink and relax, what a joke.. I 'normally' was having about 2 glasses/half a bottle every night but now I'm having close to a bottle a day and sometimes more. This is where I was 8 years ago, I don't want it too get back there again. I've only done sobriety on my own for about 6 weeks, had a longer stint but it was controlled by my partner at the time..
I'm trying to study and it's not working, it doesn't match as I'm studying natural medicine and I shouldn't be an alcoholic...
Today is definitely a non drinking day which I don't have many of, I could call it Day 1 but I'm scared to do so as I have many occasions coming up where drinks are involved and worried I would cave, however I can't keep going like this..
How do I avoid drinking if I have to go out?

CansOfOld

Would you drink bleach? Y’know, pour a big glass of bleach and sip it?

... no, you wouldn’t. Because it’s poison.

Alcohol is poison too.

I’ve literally trained myself to understand that alcohol is equal to bleach is equal to poison. Why would I drink something that would kill me? Why would you?!

Alcohol and “us” don’t go together. It must be avoided. Also, it makes it a lot easier when you understand that it’s poison.

I’m poison-free going on 170 days now.

JustTony

You don't have to go out do you?

I'm not being trite or condescending. I'm asking a genuine question because the first thing I did when I started this period of sobriety (and I hope it's the last time I ever have to start again) was I cancelled every Christmas party and social engagement I had in the diary.

I then told everyone I knew (that was effected by those decisions) that I just needed time to myself and that I had to absolutely avoid alcohol or anyone drinking it.

Berrybean

Alcoholism doesn't discriminate. Doctor Bob, a founder of AA, an alcoholic who needed to drink just to get into the operating room as his hands would be too shaky to perform surgery without - he was a man of medicine. And I know plenty of nurses and others from the medical profession from the rooms of AA. Alcoholism defies logic. We can't think our way out of this one.

Have you tried a recovery plan (one that doesn't rely on someone else stopping you from drinking, or relying on the logical part of your brain succeeding in battle against your AV I mean). If not, that could be the way to go from here.

What is more important to you ? Your recovery and future, or the 'occassions' and going out? Sometimes we just need to put those things on the back burner for a while so we can prioritise our sobriety if we're to maintain it in the early months.

BB

Red78

This I can do except for Friday night, it's my partners xmas work do, we are going out for dinner. I'm ok not being social, it's just the xmas/new year period is tough as we all know..

JustTony

It is tough. I absolutely agree.

I wish you strength.

Regards,

JT

Red78

congrats on your poison free time.. You are totally right and I guess that's what I need to remember.. It damages so many things in our bodies and mind and I look at all the processed foods and drinks out there and am happy to call them poison but because I drink the booze then I blind myself from the truth of what it really is..

Dee74

Hi red

I had to make changes - my life was all about drinking.

If I wanted to put clear distance between my old self and man I wanted to be, I had to decline a few invites and decide which side of the fence I was on.

I knew where drinking took me sooner or later, every time.
I needed to give not drinking a decent go.

It's a rough time of year to be doing that sure, but honestly there's no easy time to quit..

Better now than in 6 months, 2 years... or a decades time.

D

Red78

Isn't it interesting when you put it in this context, what's more important, one night or the rest of your life? I feel I have taken the wrong path and need to find a new one, one where the plants along the side are so thick and tall I can't get back to the old path..

Dee74

If its something you feel you have to go to Red have a plan.
There's absolutely no reason why you should drink if you don't want to....

think about how you'll answer the queries about what you want to drink and why you're not drinking, T

Think about ways you can deal with cravings, with peer pressure, and the insane notion that you can have 'just one'.

Have an escape plan if it all gets too much.

there are other tips here too:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...val-guide.html (Social Occasion Survival Guide)

D

Red78

Thanks Dee the survival guide is awesome..

Red78

End of the day is here, im sober, headache gone, apart from eating too much dinner it's a great feeling to be sober... doesn't happen often that I go to bed 100% sober..

FreeOwl

It stops when you choose sobriety and begin taking actions to support that choice.

Or when you die.

Red78

Good call freeowl.. I guess the addiction is so strong it's one of the other..
I guess the first step is coming to terms with the fact that I can't be a normal drinker, I just can't drink..

least

For me, I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink. When I got to that point, I could go anywhere and not drink.

tnek97

That is what actually helped me the most at first: I 100% accepted the scary fact that "I am an alcoholic." No more lies telling myself I was a binge drinker, or party animal, or beer lover. Alcoholic. Say it out loud, except, embrace it (as weird as it sounds), and then address it.

I wanted to follow the path you described for so long, and for so long I did nothing other than white-knuckle through days of "I can't drink", while never addressing the underlying issues.

I had to, and began to want to, work on recovery. Open up to my past, my present, and work very hard on changing myself, so I can be here to open up to my future.

Recovery, and the work involved (SR, books, podcasts, exercise, meditation, yoga, cooking...I did not do AA), allowed me to move from I can't drink, to I know I shouldn't drink, to I don't want to drink, to I want to live sober.

tomsteve

, it doesn't match as I'm studying natural medicine and I shouldn't be an alcoholic...

also said by the pharmacist, sheriff, attorney, judge, x ray tech, surgeon, RPN....
i met them all in the rooms of AA.
alcoholism- an equal oppertunity destroyer.

youve got events planned with alcohol. how bad to you want to stop drinking FOR GOOD?
if you chose you cant get out of them( which you can, but its common for people to think otherwise) and go, have an escape route- be willing to leave at any time no matter what.

MyLittleHorsie

For me, I didn't shy away from going out, I'm only 7.5 weeks sober, but I make sure I have a plan before I leave the house. The first weekend sober, I was in a restaurant, one we'd been to many times, one that served the wine I like... I designated myself DD. I drank club soda and ate my dinner, then we went to a dance, I was possibly the only sober person there, but I was DD I could not drink, but I could listen to great music, sip wonderful club soda and dance if I wanted.
I don't shy from anything, but I have a damn good plan in place each and every time. I avoid my preferred wine like the plague, as long as I never allow my first drink, I never have to worry.
I have a problem, I am working on my problem, but it doesn't get to run or dictate to me how I live my life anymore. I don't feed the addiction, he is withering and dying.
Pick a reason you cannot drink and make yourself believe it. This is my absolute favourite time of year, I am not missing one second of it, I am not my addiction, I am going to continue to live my life, but live it sober. It's a daily reaffirmation I make.

SaturatedSeize

When I first started posting here, I was struggling with the same thoughts about how I should be excluded from this illness of alcoholism. I'm in a profession where there is a major stigma against substance abuse. People like Dee, berrybean, and tomsteve, helped me overcome that. Now I use my experience to understand others on a different level. It isn't something to be ashamed of. That shame prevented me from getting the help I needed for far too long.

I tell myself that regardless of what side of the table I'm on, whether I'm actively drinking, or actively staying sober, it's a DAILY thought. Every day drinking I was thinking about it, looking forward to it, and planning how I could get that buzz the fastest. Now every day sober, I think about how I'm NOT getting a drink, recognizing my triggers that day, acknowledging and being honest with myself and my support system as to how I'm feeling today. I have to recognize that some days I want a drink more then others and it's going to be tougher. Sobriety isn't a fleeting thought, it's daily and constant. The day you stop thinking about sobriety is the day you get complacent and at a higher risk.

As others have said, plan carefully for these drinking events. Don't stay long if you go. Recognize and be honest. Wake up that morning KNOWING it's going to be a tough day and what extra steps do you need to take.

Sobriety isn't easy but it's doable. Good luck

Anna

You don't have to go out.

If you sincerely want to stop drinking, you do what it takes. I couldn't be around alcohol for many months when I stop drinking.

Early recovery requires a lot of work, and it's a time for you to be selfish in focusing on your recovery. Again, you don't have to go out.

I hope that you make a decision to stop drinking and that this is Day 1.