Notices

If you’ve relapsed, come in

Old 12-12-2017, 10:12 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 6
If you’ve relapsed, come in

So, today’s day 2 for me. This is when it’s easy for me though. Right now, I’m feeling bad/guilty about my habit to the point where I don’t want to drink. When it gets tough is around 10ish days and then I say, Meh, I’ll just have a little. And then it’s back to 2-3 glasses of wine a day.
So with Christmas and New Years coming, as well as my anniversary, I’m looking for tips to keep from relapsing. Anyone else feel this way?
Reggie7 is offline  
Old 12-12-2017, 11:01 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,326
I think one important thing to do is to accept that you don't drink alcohol, ever. Allow yourself to sit with those feelings. When I did that, my mind began to come up with healthy ways to deal with things.

For Christmas, since you're in early recovery, I'd suggest staying away from alcohol whenever possible. Maybe you could come up with things to do that don't involve drinking? You can make new traditions and memories for Christmas and New Years with no alcohol.
Anna is offline  
Old 12-12-2017, 11:59 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
scarly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: Plymouth, MI
Posts: 147
I relapsed after 7 years of sobriety....so it just shows that nobody is over that safe hump. It can happen to us all. I have been sober THIS time since October 24th of this year. So...not even two months yet. It sucks, but....im sober now and so are you ....thats awesome. And you never have to drink again. I mean just think about it. Is it even FUN anymore? It just makes us feel like crap.....We feel guilty.....shameful....the ones we love feel let down. I dont know about you... but the party ended a long time ago for me.... But just think of all the great stuff we get to do now...sober. Christmas is coming....we get to do it sober...!!! BTW...good for you on your 2 days !!
scarly is offline  
Old 12-12-2017, 12:24 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 1
Today is day one.... I made two days, and was feeling great yesterday.... so I went out. My town has about 10 liquor stores - there is no way to go anywhere without facing the temptation. I feel so weak (mentally) and like garbage (physically)... I'm laying in bed, achy, tired, and angry that I have to go through this again, after I was feeling better and I really thought I was done.... and then I went and did something that incredibly stupid. I started playing with fake blood and probably ruined my favorite shirt.... went to a former friends' house when I should NOT have been driving, but most of all, lied to myself and my husband because I said I was done. I don't know why I keep doing something I don't even want to. I'll rest up more tomorrow... Thursday I have therapy (thankfully) and I will feel better.... just have to avoid temptation, which is everywhere.
Lostintheplot is offline  
Old 12-12-2017, 01:29 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
JustTony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Originally Posted by scarly View Post
I relapsed after 7 years of sobriety....so it just shows that nobody is over that safe hump. It can happen to us all. I have been sober THIS time since October 24th of this year. So...not even two months yet. It sucks, but....im sober now and so are you ....thats awesome. And you never have to drink again. I mean just think about it. Is it even FUN anymore? It just makes us feel like crap.....We feel guilty.....shameful....the ones we love feel let down. I dont know about you... but the party ended a long time ago for me.... But just think of all the great stuff we get to do now...sober. Christmas is coming....we get to do it sober...!!! BTW...good for you on your 2 days !!
May I ask a question? When you relapsed was it just for one night or did it start a prolonged period of drinking again?
JustTony is offline  
Old 12-12-2017, 02:34 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 782
Originally Posted by Reggie7 View Post
So, today’s day 2 for me. This is when it’s easy for me though. Right now, I’m feeling bad/guilty about my habit to the point where I don’t want to drink. When it gets tough is around 10ish days and then I say, Meh, I’ll just have a little. And then it’s back to 2-3 glasses of wine a day.
So with Christmas and New Years coming, as well as my anniversary, I’m looking for tips to keep from relapsing. Anyone else feel this way?
2-3 glasses a day? Is that a lot for a woman?
Horn95 is offline  
Old 12-12-2017, 02:52 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by Horn95 View Post
2-3 glasses a day? Is that a lot for a woman?
That’s most days during the week. Then I go with a bottle + on the weekends, usually. My point is that once I start, it’s a slippery slope.
Reggie7 is offline  
Old 12-12-2017, 02:59 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
Welcome lostinthepost.

There are some great ideas here for the festive season and how to get through it sober

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ers-2-0-a.html (Thanksgiving and Xmas Survival Guide vers 2.0)

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 12-12-2017, 04:37 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 353
I have relapsed multiple times. It is always a struggle when I have a personal issue and sometimes the AV overtakes me. I have gone over a year before sober. I'm on day 56 now. I'm doing pretty well at the moment. Doctor appointment tomorrow. Thanks SR.
Jim1958 is offline  
Old 12-12-2017, 07:19 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
tekink's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Lakeside, Arizona
Posts: 1,138
I had a few relapses that were a bit longer, three times I broke around the two month mark. The first two months are really hard for me, the cravings are off the charts and I get PAWS really bad.

What ended up helping me the fourth time I made it two months was realizing how long that exactly is. I also felt really really guilty and had a bit of trouble shaking it when I went on a three and a half week bender. I wasn't really a bing drinker I was more of a 24/7/365 all day kind of drinker.

I just passed 10 months this time and I usually just get sick to my stomach if I think about drinking. It's not easy but I'm really looking forward to notching that year mark and I'm not going to let myself break again.
tekink is offline  
Old 12-13-2017, 02:31 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
FreeOwl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
It all comes down to choices and actions.

Every day, we are making choices and taking actions which either move us closer to a drink or support our sobriety.

If you are sober, the ONLY thing that can bring about your relapse is to choose to drink and then act on that choice by pouring booze down your throat.

The ONLY thing that maintains and deepens your sobriety is to choose SOBER LIFE today and to take whatever actions necessary to support that choice.
FreeOwl is offline  
Old 12-13-2017, 02:48 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Life Goes On
 
Obladi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
I've relapsed more times than we could count on our combined fingers and toes. At the moment, I think my sober sprints were more like taking a break from drinking. Not sure I've ever been sober enough to truly call it "relapse."

In any event, my current mindset is to deal with today. Today I will (did) get up early and do some things for me. Today I will go to a meeting and then to work. Today I will come home, read and get to bed early. That's all. No thinking in advance about a week from now or any of those holidays where our society says we "should" or "can" let loose. I have no intention to make that my choice. But all I can deal with today is today.

O
Obladi is offline  
Old 12-13-2017, 03:23 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Blue Belt
 
D122y's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
I've listed my relapses in my signature because some folks seem to judge us by our length of sobriety.

That stigma of restarting counting days is good and bad. Good because it adds to the accountability. Bad because when folks know they are going to reset their clock anyway, they overdose and draw out the drunk...maybe a week or longer.

Those binges do hellish damage to our brains. I was a huge binger in the end. I would go 3 to 30 days w no booze then drink for a few days straight.

It seemed like each relapse caused the recovery time to lengthen. In the end the hangovers seemed to last forever. They would not go away unless I drank again.

Basically, being drunk was the only way to feel normal.

I am still getting used to feeling normal. My emotions are real. While sometimes I feel like a wacko when faced w awkward situations, I love that I am stone cold sober dealing w everything.

I unknowingly gave up sobriety as a small child. I was an addict before I was a teen. It got worse and worse.

I crave all the time, but I love dealing w life sober. I was able to exercise for over 2 hours yesterday. When I was a drunk, that was impossible.

I hardly get sick anymore. My patience has improved 100%. I obsess, but not like before.

I had to go through hell to get to this state of grace. The suffering was unlike anything I ever dealt with. It lasted well over a year.

I still suffer today, but I am used to it. I believe that is sober life and I want it.

Once we get physically clean, about a month or so, it is all about healing and dealing.

Dealing equals suffering. We suffer because as addicts we know that temporary euporia awaits, but the price we will pay for that ephoria is hell on earth.

I believe that when the physical and mental pain of recovering from a relapse is too painful, that is when many are able to quit for good. Until then, we continue to be active addicts.

Thanks.
D122y is offline  
Old 12-13-2017, 03:37 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Endoftheday's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Nottinghamshire , England
Posts: 2,543
Back to day 1 for me too , after stopping drinking for nearly 4 months I've had a drink every day for the last 8 weeks
Endoftheday is offline  
Old 12-13-2017, 04:36 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
some folks seem to judge us by our length of sobriety.
I really don't think thats the case with most of us and it makes me said that some people here feel judged that way.

I remember how it was to go back to drinking week after week. It was such a long painful stretch of my life I can never forget it....but I'm here to share about the other bit - recovery - finding that makes everything worthwhile

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 12-13-2017, 09:22 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
scarly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: Plymouth, MI
Posts: 147
Originally Posted by JustTony View Post
May I ask a question? When you relapsed was it just for one night or did it start a prolonged period of drinking again?
I told myself ...as I raised the fifth of whiskey to my mouth..."I'll only get hammered tonight and Ill go right back to being sober tomorrow.." That was 6 years ago. Ive been to treatment 12 times since then. It was worse than ever before. So yes....it triggered a prolonged period. It triggered a prolonged nightmare....
scarly is offline  
Old 12-13-2017, 09:41 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 228
“Bad because when folks know they are going to reset their clock anyway, they overdose and draw out the drunk...maybe a week or longer.“

So true.
KDBnSLC is offline  
Old 12-13-2017, 12:36 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 242
Scarly: Thank you for your truth and post. One of the most helpful posts ever for me!! Sorry that you're gone through so much pain!! But maybe your story can save my life!
Strugglingtoget is offline  
Old 12-13-2017, 12:47 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Go listen to some stories at an AA meeting. It's very eye/mind opening. My last 'relapse' lasted for a solid 3yrs. Toss in some jail,car wreck,loss of relationships,a sh@t load of money and thoughts of suicide..one drink led me to that "life".
DontRemember is offline  
Old 12-14-2017, 12:01 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
scarly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: Plymouth, MI
Posts: 147
[QUOTE=Strugglingtoget;6706868]Scarly: Thank you for your truth and post. One of the most helpful posts ever for me!! Sorry that you're gone through so much pain!! But maybe your story can save my life![/QUOTE

Oh ...please dont read pain into it NOW. Right now,...I feel great. I didnt drink myself to death even though I was on track to. I ran out of money during ...say...around the last 4 months or so of my drinking before I finally went back to rehab. Now...Im going to divulge something. Not to get attention or praise....just to give you an idea of what happened to me. I was an artist for Marvel Comics/Marvel Studios. I drew "The Invincible Ironman" comic book for 5 years. I was the pencil artist. I was the one who drew all the action panels on each page you see in an average comic book. They would send me the story and treatments and I would draw what I read was going on in each panel. Im telling you this to illustrate a story. I was being paid around $18,000 every two weeks. Thats alot of money. I blew it all on stupid toys....cars.... and most of all....booze. So...yes...4 months before rehab...I had nothing. Nothing. living (well, ...existing) in a cheap motel....that my Mother had to pay for without a pot to p*ss in. Barely any food. I had no money for booze but I realized how easy it was to steal from a local drug store in my area. I started stealing big bottles of mouthwash. Listerine or whatever brand was there. I was drinking mouthwash. It stopped the shaking and warded off seizures...but the trade off was UnGodly diarrhea.... gut-rot....bloating....nausea....and even temporary blindness at one point. So...uh..yeah. PLEASE dont let it get that bad. Im now living in a 3/4 house having got out of rehab in October. Im not even 2 months sober but I feel so good. Not just physically....I feel good about ME. About who I am. Im proud of me. You should be proud of YOU. .....
scarly is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:56 AM.