5 months sober and have questions...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 8
5 months sober and have questions...
First of all, I have been drinking every day for the last 13 years; anywhere from 7-12 drinks daily. I tried to quit several times since then but only for around 45 days each attempt. At those times, I had no anxiety when I quit. About 4 years ago my mom passed and I had to take care of my dad for nearly 1.5 years until he passed in March, 2015. In order to cope with the stress I started drinking at 7 am and continued throughout the day probably ammasing 12 drinks or so. Even after my dads passing I continued this pattern of drinking until I quit July 17, 2017. Unfortunately this time around I have struggled with anxiety every day. I’m trying to do this without medication but it’s been hell. My question is has anyone here sought medication after quitting and for how long were you on it? Also were you able to successfully wean off of it without the anxiety returning? I would welcome any inputs!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
There is nothing wrong with taking anxiety meds if you need them. I have a super open relationship with my GP and I take them, both during my drinking and after, but I usually only need to take them one week a month 
(sorry if TMI) Since quitting, I am taking them a bit more frequently, they help.
(sorry if TMI) Since quitting, I am taking them a bit more frequently, they help.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I wasn't "okay" at five months but I noticed a big improvement in my anxiety at about 10 months. I've done it all med-free. Meds in the past have caused me trouble.
Are you eating well? Good, well balanced meals with not a lot of caffeine or sugar helps a lot. Exercise is my stress/anxiety buster. A 30 minute walk outdoors is pretty much a guarantee to settle my nerves. Even 20 jumping jacks when I get too wound up. These days that's rarely, but in that first year of sobriety it was intense!
I feel for you having lost both your parents, that's my situation too. It's a huge life adjustment. You can make it through. My condolences. Hang on! It will still get much better.
Welcome to the site, there is a lot of wisdom and comfort here, I hope you stick around. Congrats on your five months sober. That's a miracle, my friend.
Are you eating well? Good, well balanced meals with not a lot of caffeine or sugar helps a lot. Exercise is my stress/anxiety buster. A 30 minute walk outdoors is pretty much a guarantee to settle my nerves. Even 20 jumping jacks when I get too wound up. These days that's rarely, but in that first year of sobriety it was intense!
I feel for you having lost both your parents, that's my situation too. It's a huge life adjustment. You can make it through. My condolences. Hang on! It will still get much better.
Welcome to the site, there is a lot of wisdom and comfort here, I hope you stick around. Congrats on your five months sober. That's a miracle, my friend.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
The way I lived was a breeding ground for negative emotions. Fear, shame, guilt, remorse, despair were constant companions except while I was drinking.
Not drinking just brought them out more and I would become so uncomfortable and miserable, that drinking looked attractive again.
I had to change my way of life completely. That karma thing of what goes around comes around, reaping what you sow, seems to be the reality of it. When I moved towards more positive ideas like generosity, kindness, even selflessness, my life improved dramatically and those demons disappeared.
Not drinking just brought them out more and I would become so uncomfortable and miserable, that drinking looked attractive again.
I had to change my way of life completely. That karma thing of what goes around comes around, reaping what you sow, seems to be the reality of it. When I moved towards more positive ideas like generosity, kindness, even selflessness, my life improved dramatically and those demons disappeared.
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 12
Took me over 6 months so that I could start to notice improvements in my Anxiety problem.
Just be pacient. Your brain chemistry has been damaged for years, it may take a while for it to begin to return to normal.
Congrats on your 5 months, that's a huge step.
Just be pacient. Your brain chemistry has been damaged for years, it may take a while for it to begin to return to normal.
Congrats on your 5 months, that's a huge step.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 634
I started taking anxiety medication while I was still drinking, I'm on regular daily medication. I've been sober 11 weeks now. I no longer wake in the middle of the night with anxiety and dread but I still suffer in the day. I've been on a therapy course which has helped and I'm learning to live with it. My plan is to start weaning off my medication next year with the help of my GP. However, I will only do this when I am ready, I am in no rush. There is no harm or shame being on the medication, staying off the wine is my priority, everything else can wait.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 8
It’s great to hear everyone’s response and I’m happy to hear that there are people who have done it without meds. Since I quit drinking I’ve lost 25 pounds ( a bottle of wine and 6-7 vodkas account for that ) and I do walk 4-5 miles per day which helps. I guess I need to suffer some more....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Well, I chose to look at it as "healing" instead of "suffering."
As they say, "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
I think Mike (Gottalife) was hitting on this in his post. Much of what I saw as discomfort is merely a faulty belief system. BUT with that said, there is a lot of physical healing that truly does happen in the first couple years. I made a decision not to use meds based on my past experience and for me it was the right choice.
I did spend a lot of time reading and doing different things to reset my thinking to a more positive and less fearful/negative way of thinking.
As they say, "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
I think Mike (Gottalife) was hitting on this in his post. Much of what I saw as discomfort is merely a faulty belief system. BUT with that said, there is a lot of physical healing that truly does happen in the first couple years. I made a decision not to use meds based on my past experience and for me it was the right choice.
I did spend a lot of time reading and doing different things to reset my thinking to a more positive and less fearful/negative way of thinking.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
Originally Posted by Mb3807 
Thanks for your response. I know there could be no definitive answer, probably gonna just have to try meds but I’m also concerned about addiction to them.
Prescribed correctly and with a very frank and open conversation with your doctor, there shouldn't be any worries about addiction. I went about 3 and a half years without them. Then we moved to a new area, I knew nobody and got really down, my drinking started to kick in too around the same time. It's taken 5 years to pull out of all that and quitting drinking was the last step.
I have taken them off an on for about 20 years. For me, they don't replace good coping strategies, they quiet the other voices who want to side track me into obsessing about things that are irrelevant. Had I taken them properly when with my ex husband, I might have confronted the issue of his drinking and the effect it had on me and the permission I gave myself to drink, that now is such an issue, instead I kept a house so clean you could tell if a lady wore underpants to one of our parties, simply by looking at the floor.
If it is something you feel you need, you need to find the right ones, anxiety and depression meds are not a one size fits all, they will not replace anything you were addicted to. If you are becoming addicted to them, I would suggest you are not on the right ones and you need to chat with your doctor.
For me, they restore an even keel when hormones and brain chemicals go out of whack, for the most part, once a month for me. They do not replace daily reflections, reading, meditation or the hard conversations and realisations that come with sobriety and mental healing.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 634
Mb3087, you said "It has been hell", I'll say again that there is no shame in taking medication. Of course medication alone isn't the answer, I used it to get myself on an even keel so that I could go to an addiction counsellor for alcohol and therapy course for anxiety.
I totally appreciate that everyone is different and some people don't like taking medication - in fact, I resisted it myself for a while but was drinking so much and one night just lost the plot so I went on the medication. I would say though that I am not addicted to it, I am using it as one of my tools to get better.
I think I've just repopested the previous post!! Holds true for me too clearly!
I totally appreciate that everyone is different and some people don't like taking medication - in fact, I resisted it myself for a while but was drinking so much and one night just lost the plot so I went on the medication. I would say though that I am not addicted to it, I am using it as one of my tools to get better.
I think I've just repopested the previous post!! Holds true for me too clearly!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I don't take medication for that, though there have been times when I've considered it. I do take an antidepressant which works well for me. There are a lot of ways to help manage anxiety without medication too:
TIPS FOR DEALING WITH ANXIETY (the American Assoc for Anxiety & Depression)
Take a Time-Out. Try some yoga, listen to music, meditate, get a massage or learn relaxation techniques. Stepping back from the problem can help clear your head.
Eat well-balanced meals. Do not skip any meals. Keep healthful, energy-boosting snacks on hand. Limit caffeine.
Get enough sleep/rest. Exercise daily to help you feel good and maintain your health. Use an iPod or exercise buddy to help you stick to your routine.
Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly. Belly-Breathing: Sit comfortably with shoulders, head and neck relaxed. Breath in slowly through your nose so that your stomach expands. Tighten stomach muscles, letting them fall inward as you exhale slowly through your mouth.
Do your best. Instead of aiming for perfection, which isn’t possible, be proud of however close you get.
Accept that you cannot control everything. Put your stress in perspective: Is it really as bad as you think?
Welcome humour. A good laugh goes a long way.
Maintain a positive attitude. Make an effort to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Get involved. Volunteer or find another way to be active in your community, which creates a support network and gives you a break from everyday stress.
Learn what triggers your anxiety. Is it work, family, school or something else you can’t identify? Write in a journal when you’re feeling stressed. Look for a pattern.
Talk to someone. Tell friends/family you’re feeling overwhelmed and let them know how they can help. Talk to a professional.
Books
Amen, Daniel Change Your Brain, Change Your Life
Bassett, Lucinda From Panic to Power
Burns, David MD When Panic Attacks
Chodron, Pema The Places that Scare You
Doidge, Norman MD The Brain that Changes Itself
Dyer, Wayne Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
Orsilla, Ken Mindful Way Through Anxiety
TIPS FOR DEALING WITH ANXIETY (the American Assoc for Anxiety & Depression)
Take a Time-Out. Try some yoga, listen to music, meditate, get a massage or learn relaxation techniques. Stepping back from the problem can help clear your head.
Eat well-balanced meals. Do not skip any meals. Keep healthful, energy-boosting snacks on hand. Limit caffeine.
Get enough sleep/rest. Exercise daily to help you feel good and maintain your health. Use an iPod or exercise buddy to help you stick to your routine.
Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly. Belly-Breathing: Sit comfortably with shoulders, head and neck relaxed. Breath in slowly through your nose so that your stomach expands. Tighten stomach muscles, letting them fall inward as you exhale slowly through your mouth.
Do your best. Instead of aiming for perfection, which isn’t possible, be proud of however close you get.
Accept that you cannot control everything. Put your stress in perspective: Is it really as bad as you think?
Welcome humour. A good laugh goes a long way.
Maintain a positive attitude. Make an effort to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Get involved. Volunteer or find another way to be active in your community, which creates a support network and gives you a break from everyday stress.
Learn what triggers your anxiety. Is it work, family, school or something else you can’t identify? Write in a journal when you’re feeling stressed. Look for a pattern.
Talk to someone. Tell friends/family you’re feeling overwhelmed and let them know how they can help. Talk to a professional.
Books
Amen, Daniel Change Your Brain, Change Your Life
Bassett, Lucinda From Panic to Power
Burns, David MD When Panic Attacks
Chodron, Pema The Places that Scare You
Doidge, Norman MD The Brain that Changes Itself
Dyer, Wayne Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
Orsilla, Ken Mindful Way Through Anxiety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 8
WOW, I didn’t expect so many responses but I am grateful for them. First off, I would have absolutely no shame in taking meds; just the fear of getting addicted to them. Drinking at 7 am under my grapevine while playing with my neighbors dog pretty much eliminates any shame ( all the neighbors know I’m a drunk and many drink with me but obviously not in the morning). My neighbors have all been supportive because they saw the path of destruction ahead of me if I continued. I still crave alcohol because I’m struggling with the idea of never drinking again and maybe that’s my problem. In the past when I quit I knew that it was only temporarily to see if I would feel better, but now that I committed to quitting for good it scares me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
Originally Posted by biminiblue
I wasn't "okay" at five months but I noticed a big improvement in my anxiety at about 10 months. I've done it all med-free. Meds in the past have caused me trouble.
Are you eating well? Good, well balanced meals with not a lot of caffeine or sugar helps a lot. Exercise is my stress/anxiety buster. A 30 minute walk outdoors is pretty much a guarantee to settle my nerves. Even 20 jumping jacks when I get too wound up. These days that's rarely, but in that first year of sobriety it was intense!
I feel for you having lost both your parents, that's my situation too. It's a huge life adjustment. You can make it through. My condolences. Hang on! It will still get much better.
Welcome to the site, there is a lot of wisdom and comfort here, I hope you stick around. Congrats on your five months sober. That's a miracle, my friend.
Are you eating well? Good, well balanced meals with not a lot of caffeine or sugar helps a lot. Exercise is my stress/anxiety buster. A 30 minute walk outdoors is pretty much a guarantee to settle my nerves. Even 20 jumping jacks when I get too wound up. These days that's rarely, but in that first year of sobriety it was intense!
I feel for you having lost both your parents, that's my situation too. It's a huge life adjustment. You can make it through. My condolences. Hang on! It will still get much better.
Welcome to the site, there is a lot of wisdom and comfort here, I hope you stick around. Congrats on your five months sober. That's a miracle, my friend.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Northwest U.S.
Posts: 778
Hi 3807 and welcome to SR. I don't have much to add about the medication issue. I don't take them but would if I needed to. My comment is mostly to say good job! You drank for a long time and you drank a lot, especially at the end where you were drinking at 7 a.m. But you stopped without much help and you've made it 5 months. I hope that you take time once in a while to reflect on what you have accomplished - this is no easy feat, especially without much support. So ... nice job! Now, do something to put in place the safety net that will prevent you from ever having a relapse.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,632
Congrats on 5 months sober!
Lots of good advice here.
My own experience in sobriety is that it took me about a year for the anxiety to resolve. Ironically my anxiety INCREASED between 4 - 7 months sober compared to my drinking days. By 8 months it was starting to resolve if I kept good habits, and by 1 year I was anxiety free w/o meds.
I think it just took my brain a while to change it's baseline to adjust to the new normal. The increase in anxiety surprised me and I would have really worried if I didn't read up on PAWS. Others have anxiety disorders that present themselves that do need medication, but I am happy that I gave myself time to allow the brain to get to it's baseline normal before taking it to the next step.
At 5 months, do keep in mind that your brain is still very much healing!
Lots of good advice here.
My own experience in sobriety is that it took me about a year for the anxiety to resolve. Ironically my anxiety INCREASED between 4 - 7 months sober compared to my drinking days. By 8 months it was starting to resolve if I kept good habits, and by 1 year I was anxiety free w/o meds.
I think it just took my brain a while to change it's baseline to adjust to the new normal. The increase in anxiety surprised me and I would have really worried if I didn't read up on PAWS. Others have anxiety disorders that present themselves that do need medication, but I am happy that I gave myself time to allow the brain to get to it's baseline normal before taking it to the next step.
At 5 months, do keep in mind that your brain is still very much healing!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 8
Thanks to everyone who’s shared their experiences, because talking to people who haven’t experienced what I’m (we) going through, they just can’t relate. It’s encouraging to hear that time is really what’s needed to heal.
Human
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Earth
Posts: 183
5 months sober - amazing! Congratulations for that achievement!
Anxiety is terrible to live with - but not impossible. You are doing well so far, that is something to use as your foundation when anxiety starts creeping up. You KNOW already you can do this, and you have that over the anxiety already. The tips Ann posted are things I use daily to deal with GAD. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking an anti anxiety medication. You know your body better than anyone, and if you want some help in that form then so be it And we are here to help at any time! All my best to you
Anxiety is terrible to live with - but not impossible. You are doing well so far, that is something to use as your foundation when anxiety starts creeping up. You KNOW already you can do this, and you have that over the anxiety already. The tips Ann posted are things I use daily to deal with GAD. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking an anti anxiety medication. You know your body better than anyone, and if you want some help in that form then so be it
And we are here to help at any time! All my best to you Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
I take Ativan
Among the other drugs I started taking when I got sober, my pysch prescribed me ativan (a benzo) for my anxiety. I take it as directed- 1-3x a day- and have also learned other tools for alleviating or dealing with my anxiety thanks to my AA program.
i anticipate taking it for as long as needed, so indefinitely.
i anticipate taking it for as long as needed, so indefinitely.
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