My name is Foxie
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 4
My name is Foxie
Dear World,
Dear Diary sounds more odd to me, but I guess it's really hello to anyone reading
I had my last drink late Thursday night. I have no idea if I can keep itmy last. It's like a constant civil war in my head.
As I write,at this very moment I do not want to drink alcohol but experience tells me in half hour or in the morning I may be convinced it's a good idea.
Maybe writing it here will somehow help me get clarity again, if I ever really had it before.
I'm 37, I've had periods of sobriety in past, but reality is since November 2016 I've not got beyond four or five weeks, right now that even seems impossible. I am not sure if people use the term "wet brain" nowadays, but it's my big fear probably the one fear strong enough to make me keep trying to stay sober again. I mean it's like my mind goes off on another beam now when I drink . I don't remember but when I see texts or emails I've written during a binge, it almost kills me the shock and shame. It's beyond comprehension.
I went into a residential treatment center in August 2016 a couple of weeks sober and did well there but sadly I relapsed three months late. I try to make out its not long going on, but it is now over one year. My life is a total mess and it really is to do with this more than other problems, as booze is my destroyer but yet my lover, best friend, family, work, my bloody everything. It's crazy I know, but I have to be honest. It has me in a total grip.
That said I am writing this. I am three days sober. There's some hope!
Anyhow, thanks for reading. I am glad I found this site.
Dear Diary sounds more odd to me, but I guess it's really hello to anyone reading
I had my last drink late Thursday night. I have no idea if I can keep itmy last. It's like a constant civil war in my head.
As I write,at this very moment I do not want to drink alcohol but experience tells me in half hour or in the morning I may be convinced it's a good idea.
Maybe writing it here will somehow help me get clarity again, if I ever really had it before.
I'm 37, I've had periods of sobriety in past, but reality is since November 2016 I've not got beyond four or five weeks, right now that even seems impossible. I am not sure if people use the term "wet brain" nowadays, but it's my big fear probably the one fear strong enough to make me keep trying to stay sober again. I mean it's like my mind goes off on another beam now when I drink . I don't remember but when I see texts or emails I've written during a binge, it almost kills me the shock and shame. It's beyond comprehension.
I went into a residential treatment center in August 2016 a couple of weeks sober and did well there but sadly I relapsed three months late. I try to make out its not long going on, but it is now over one year. My life is a total mess and it really is to do with this more than other problems, as booze is my destroyer but yet my lover, best friend, family, work, my bloody everything. It's crazy I know, but I have to be honest. It has me in a total grip.
That said I am writing this. I am three days sober. There's some hope!
Anyhow, thanks for reading. I am glad I found this site.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,511
Welcome, Foxie!
We do understand how hard this is and we are here to offer support.
You can make this the end of your drinking and have the life you hope for.
If you like reading, you might enjoy "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp. She was a young women, high-functioning, but destroying her life. Reading her raw and honest story was the first time I really had hope that I could live a sober life.
We do understand how hard this is and we are here to offer support.
You can make this the end of your drinking and have the life you hope for.
If you like reading, you might enjoy "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp. She was a young women, high-functioning, but destroying her life. Reading her raw and honest story was the first time I really had hope that I could live a sober life.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by tiredofthis2017 
Hi
I relapsed after my treatment center time recently too
You can do this
I’m 6 days sober now and fighting like I never have
I’m going to beat this
So can you
I relapsed after my treatment center time recently too
You can do this
I’m 6 days sober now and fighting like I never have
I’m going to beat this
So can you
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by Anna
Welcome, Foxie!
We do understand how hard this is and we are here to offer support.
You can make this the end of your drinking and have the life you hope for.
If you like reading, you might enjoy "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp. She was a young women, high-functioning, but destroying her life. Reading her raw and honest story was the first time I really had hope that I could live a sober life.
We do understand how hard this is and we are here to offer support.
You can make this the end of your drinking and have the life you hope for.
If you like reading, you might enjoy "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp. She was a young women, high-functioning, but destroying her life. Reading her raw and honest story was the first time I really had hope that I could live a sober life.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Yes. Read new things. Try new things. Talk to new people.
If nothing changes, the nothing will change.
What about hitting some AA meetings as well as using this forum each day. Recovery is not a few weeks then done. It needs to be ongoing, because that's the nature of alcoholism. You never get to unpickle the cucumber.
BB
If nothing changes, the nothing will change.
What about hitting some AA meetings as well as using this forum each day. Recovery is not a few weeks then done. It needs to be ongoing, because that's the nature of alcoholism. You never get to unpickle the cucumber.
BB
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