Mango blast

Sometimes, depending on what the situation is, the only way to "win" is to not play the game.

https://thenarcissisticlife.com//wha...c-selfishness/

viola71

from the article:

Why Living with Alcoholism Feels Like Living with Narcissism
The person with a narcissistic personality does not view people as individuals with their own needs and wishes; they are simply extensions of him. A narcissist gathers around him people who behave in such a way as to meet his needs (such as for admiration or power) or that enhance his vision of himself. For instance, they belong to the best country club or attend his university of choice, etc. If family members or his “in crowd” begin to act separately or have too many opinions of their own, his equilibrium becomes threatened.

Wow this was my life........ I was a tool for his career, home life, extended family. I soon as I started doing things for myself all hell broke loose. Thanks for the link

aykay89

Is it possible for narcissism and alcoholism to coexist simultaneously, or is alcoholism just an umbrella over these issues? I’ve been doing an unbelievable amount of research on NPD, but I’m not sure where alcoholism falls in that regard.

Mango blast

"Alcoholic selfishness has many of the same characteristics while a person is using. Many alcoholics demand to be the center of attention, put their needs above their families’, and they strongly deny that their behavior is a problem. The use of many drugs, including alcohol, does indeed produce feelings of over-inflated sense of self. That is one of the reasons they use- it makes them feel more confident. However, when the addiction to alcohol is resolved, the individual will no longer exhibit those characteristics because the traits of narcissism aren’t a part of his typical personality.
Sometimes alcoholism is co-diagnosed with NPD. That does not mean that all alcoholics are narcissists, although they certainly may have some narcissistic traits. Until the issue of alcohol addiction is resolved, it may not be clear whether the alcohol was causing NPD traits or whether the person is indeed a narcissist.

All narcissists are selfish; not all selfish people are narcissists."

Mango blast

Bump.

Ladybird579

I've been wondering about this a bit too. I had a friend who displays narcissist behaviours and also overlaps into sociopath at times. He is also a very heavy drinker and possibly alcoholic. He admit to wanting to control groups of his peers when he was in school and his whole life plan is based on a ridiculous fantasy that he never, ever gets around to making headway with. He's unemployed and lurches from one place to another sponging off people for as long as he can before he outstays his welcome. He's very charismatic and believable and flat out refuses to admit he's lied even when caught out. He deflects questions, fudges over his past and is never grateful for what people do for him. He is currently blagging free accommodation and food off some other poor suckers. He manages to attract very beautiful women even tho he never ever washes and is very overweight. Never got what they see in him myself. Afaik he's the only obvious red flagger I've met since splitting up with exah but it was a steep learning curve.

Learning14

Wow! Thank you. This was really good.