SamHain

I lost my partner of years this past earlier . I was sober at the time. I live in Dallas Fort Worth Texas and have had a hard time staying sober. But, I was able to turn it around and maintain my sobriety. But now being alone and sober is hard. I’m new to the area and I have been kinda depressed so I hadn’t gone to a AA meeting. I don’t have any friends and it’s just been hard to go to a meeting. It kinda feels “good” to be isolated, but I know what that means. I am a gay male who is in my mid 40s and I just honestly does want friends and sobriety and to be able to handle the loss of a partner and maintain my sobriety and not let my addiction win.

Dee74

Welcome Sam

I'm sorry for your loss. This is a place of great support - I hope you'll find this community of help

D

least

Welcome to the family. You'll find lots of support here.

sickofthiscrap

I am with you. It is hard handling sobriety in the face of a loss. I haven't succeeded but going to try again. There is more to lose with drinking.

Ghostlight1

I'm sorry for your loss. I've lost friends in sobriety, but after the initial mourning, and I mean not soon after, I was able to rebound and get back to a regular life.
And by regular, I mean with a hole in my heart and feeling like a piece of me is missing.
I still feel that way after a few years. Their loss changed me, but I remained sober.
My advice would be to take your time and heal. I know how hard that is, but it's nothing picking up a drink will make better.
Best to you and you have my sympathy. You're not alone.

Anna

Sam, Welcome, and I'm sorry for your loss.

You can do this!

SamHain

I went to a meeting tonight. I hadn’t been to a meeting for some time. I just got home. It was good to go to a meeting. I know I need to get out. Meet people and find friends.

SamHain

Yes I can. I didn’t think I could stay sober during a death but it didn’t cross my mind for months. I finally gave in. But I am back and I want my sobriety again. Thank you

SamHain

Thank you this was my first outreach to get out of my solitude. I know I’ll find people to talk to. I won’t find them at the bottom of a bottle

SamHain

I get mad at him. I get mad that he left me alone. I get mad that he didn’t listen to the advice of the doctors, walk every day for twenty minutes. It will help. Then I realize, there was a time I didn’t listen to doctors and stay sober I didn’t listen to sponsors. He wasn’t a alcoholic. He had to deal with me when I was gone drunk for days. I can’t be mad. I realize today I need to not be angry

SamHain

When I relapsed recently I did the “yet” I got a DUI, I had never got caught drinking and driving. I woke up in jail, hoping I had not killed anyone. Luckily I didn’t. But I don’t remember driving. I am lucky. Very luck and favored. Today I am thank to be sober.

Hevyn

It's so good to have you with us, Sam. I'm sorry for the painful time you've been through. Instead of comforting us, falling back on drinking just adds to our misery and anxiety. I'm glad we finally realize that. Welcome!

Ghostlight1

I can relate. My best buddy wouldn't stop smoking. He also wouldn't walk. He didn't eat.
I'm mad at him. Mad that he left me when he could have lived longer.
I pray for him still.
And I forgot to welcome you to the forums. You'll find a lot of support here.

MindfulMan

Welcome Sam.

Going through a loss like that and maintaining your sobriety is huge. Congratulations.

It's hard to be gay and single in recovery, as so much of the gay social scene revolves around bars...although that seems to be changing.

Hopefully you can find some good GLTBA meetings in DFW. They were very helpful to me in my early sobriety.

Good to get out and around people. Isolation was always my biggest threat as far as relapsing, and I think many of us can say the same.

Keep checking in.

ReadyAtLast

Welcome sam. I'm sorry for your loss. You'll find something much support here it's a great place.