It's been 4 days
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 16
It's been 4 days
Well, it's been 4 days since I've had any contact with my cocaine-addicted ex. I feel a lot better and my anxiety has definitely gone down quite a bit.
The only thing I am having trouble with is these constant thoughts. I keep wondering why he was able to be a better boyfriend to ****** girls. He used to date this girl who is a known gold digger and uses guys. He would take her on fancy dates and write about her all over social media. I mean, their relationship only lasted 2 months but he would brag about her and post pictures of her all the time. He used to date another girl who ended up cheating on him with his boss and getting pregnant with his boss' baby.
I am so loyal and so genuine. I care so much about the guy I'm with. I don't ask for much.. no fancy gifts or dinners. I just want the love I give returned. I don't understand why I received the **** end of the stick - he never took me out on dates, he never wrote nice things about me on social media... nothing. And the last month he just verbally and mentally abused me and chose cocaine over me every single day. I guess I just don't understand how you can be such a loving person and get nothing in return, yet other girls who didn't care got treated better than me. Why did his addiction get so much worse with me? I just keep wondering and beating myself up.
I'm trying my best to stay strong and have 0 contact with him. I guess I'm just having a rough time with my thoughts. Any advice on stopping this? Also, I wanted to thank everyone for all of the support over the last month. It's been SO helpful.
The only thing I am having trouble with is these constant thoughts. I keep wondering why he was able to be a better boyfriend to ****** girls. He used to date this girl who is a known gold digger and uses guys. He would take her on fancy dates and write about her all over social media. I mean, their relationship only lasted 2 months but he would brag about her and post pictures of her all the time. He used to date another girl who ended up cheating on him with his boss and getting pregnant with his boss' baby.
I am so loyal and so genuine. I care so much about the guy I'm with. I don't ask for much.. no fancy gifts or dinners. I just want the love I give returned. I don't understand why I received the **** end of the stick - he never took me out on dates, he never wrote nice things about me on social media... nothing. And the last month he just verbally and mentally abused me and chose cocaine over me every single day. I guess I just don't understand how you can be such a loving person and get nothing in return, yet other girls who didn't care got treated better than me. Why did his addiction get so much worse with me? I just keep wondering and beating myself up.
I'm trying my best to stay strong and have 0 contact with him. I guess I'm just having a rough time with my thoughts. Any advice on stopping this? Also, I wanted to thank everyone for all of the support over the last month. It's been SO helpful.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Abby, I say this with love in my heart, okay? He does this because HE is a jerk. There is nothing wrong with you (except perhaps your ability to insist on being treated with respect that you deserve), it's on him for being a cheating, ladies man who has no stable relationships ever.
Rise above this, dear, you are worth so much more and maybe once you take time to work on yourself, your own self esteem and find your balance again, you will find you attract the kind of man who treats you well.
Sick attracts sick, healthy attracts healthy. Get healthy and learn to love yourself first. Set your standards high. Good relationships will follow when you are ready.
Hugs
Rise above this, dear, you are worth so much more and maybe once you take time to work on yourself, your own self esteem and find your balance again, you will find you attract the kind of man who treats you well.
Sick attracts sick, healthy attracts healthy. Get healthy and learn to love yourself first. Set your standards high. Good relationships will follow when you are ready.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
ya know the canoe trip started out in calm waters and it wasn't too bad, until we hit the rapids and then THE FALLS.
honey, you were just farther down the addict stream. he may have made outward acts that LOOKED like he CARED, but they were still just ACTS to post on FB or wherever, look at me, i am soooo cool. it was not about THEM. as addiction is progressive, you were just along when the drugs had a more damaging effect upon him.
it doesn't matter HOW NICE we are to the cobra, it is still going to bite us first chance it gets.
honey, you were just farther down the addict stream. he may have made outward acts that LOOKED like he CARED, but they were still just ACTS to post on FB or wherever, look at me, i am soooo cool. it was not about THEM. as addiction is progressive, you were just along when the drugs had a more damaging effect upon him.
it doesn't matter HOW NICE we are to the cobra, it is still going to bite us first chance it gets.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 421
Assholes are drawn to other assholes. Usually the relationship is shallow and at some level they know the other person is just using the other (for status, sex, etc.)
It is absolutely nothing wrong with you.
It is absolutely nothing wrong with you.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
