Self-compassion is a learnable skill
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Join Date: Dec 2004
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Self-compassion is a learnable skill
"Take a moment to think about how you treat yourself when you make a mistake or fail to reach a goal. If you tend to beat yourself up when things go wrong, you, like most people, can use a little more self-compassion in your life.
Forgiving and nurturing yourself seem to have benefits in their own right. They can even set the stage for better health, relationships, and general well-being. So far, research has revealed a number of benefits of self-compassion. Lower levels of anxiety and depression have been observed in people with higher self-compassion. Self-compassionate people recognize when they are suffering and are kind to themselves at these times, thereby lowering their own levels of related anxiety and depression.
Here are four ways to give your self-compassion skills a quick boost:
Comfort your body.
Eat something healthy. Lie down and rest. Massage your own neck, feet, or hands. Take a walk. Anything you can do to improve how you feel physically gives you a dose of self-compassion.
Write a letter to yourself.
Think of a situation that caused you to feel pain (a breakup with a lover, a job loss, a poorly received presentation). Write a letter to yourself describing the situation, but without blaming anyone — including yourself. Use this exercise to nurture your feelings.
Give yourself encouragement.
Think of what you would say to a good friend if he or she was facing a difficult or stressful situation. Then, when you find yourself in this kind of situation, direct these compassionate responses toward yourself.
Practice mindfulness.
Even a quick exercise, such as meditating for a few minutes, can be a great way to nurture and accept ourselves while we're in pain.
In Alanon today our topic was perfectionism - letting it go! - and self care.
The slogans that come to mind for me with this are One Day at a Time and Awareness, Acceptance, Action.
With awareness, there is always room for more awareness.
With acceptance, there is always room for more acceptance.
And perhaps my actions can come in quicker than I previously thought... by picking up tools to create a stronger bond to my own self-compassion.
How do you let go of perfectionism, today?
How is your self care, today?
How is your self-compassion, today?
Forgiving and nurturing yourself seem to have benefits in their own right. They can even set the stage for better health, relationships, and general well-being. So far, research has revealed a number of benefits of self-compassion. Lower levels of anxiety and depression have been observed in people with higher self-compassion. Self-compassionate people recognize when they are suffering and are kind to themselves at these times, thereby lowering their own levels of related anxiety and depression.
Here are four ways to give your self-compassion skills a quick boost:
Comfort your body.
Eat something healthy. Lie down and rest. Massage your own neck, feet, or hands. Take a walk. Anything you can do to improve how you feel physically gives you a dose of self-compassion.
Write a letter to yourself.
Think of a situation that caused you to feel pain (a breakup with a lover, a job loss, a poorly received presentation). Write a letter to yourself describing the situation, but without blaming anyone — including yourself. Use this exercise to nurture your feelings.
Give yourself encouragement.
Think of what you would say to a good friend if he or she was facing a difficult or stressful situation. Then, when you find yourself in this kind of situation, direct these compassionate responses toward yourself.
Practice mindfulness.
Even a quick exercise, such as meditating for a few minutes, can be a great way to nurture and accept ourselves while we're in pain.
In Alanon today our topic was perfectionism - letting it go! - and self care.
The slogans that come to mind for me with this are One Day at a Time and Awareness, Acceptance, Action.
With awareness, there is always room for more awareness.
With acceptance, there is always room for more acceptance.
And perhaps my actions can come in quicker than I previously thought... by picking up tools to create a stronger bond to my own self-compassion.
How do you let go of perfectionism, today?
How is your self care, today?
How is your self-compassion, today?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
1. How do you let go of perfectionism, today?
2. How is your self care, today?
3. How is your self-compassion, today?
2. How is your self care, today?
3. How is your self-compassion, today?
2. Good.
3. Working on it. Recognizing I'm taking more healthy actions in my recovery... and this is, today, requiring a bit of extra self-care to balance that. In this, I'm finding more self-compassion.
Not hurrying through this day. Taking my time and enjoying the scenery.
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,144
How do you let go of perfectionism, today?
I accomplish a little bit every day. I recognize things can't always be accomplished at one sitting.
How is your self care, today? I am learning not to FEAR and to speak up for my needs and allow others to be imperfect also.
How is your self-compassion, today? I accept I am a learner.
I accomplish a little bit every day. I recognize things can't always be accomplished at one sitting.
How is your self care, today? I am learning not to FEAR and to speak up for my needs and allow others to be imperfect also.
How is your self-compassion, today? I accept I am a learner.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,983
I'm a depressive and getting myself to get off the couch is really hard specially when I am alone. I've learned to work with it. I set teeny tiny goals and give myself credit for doing very small things.
Right now I'm house/cat sitting so all alone. Getting out to a coffee shop helps a bit but it is still tough.
I'm probably talking more about motivation than self compassion but I do do better if I'm more positive about myself.
Right now I'm house/cat sitting so all alone. Getting out to a coffee shop helps a bit but it is still tough.
I'm probably talking more about motivation than self compassion but I do do better if I'm more positive about myself.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Oregon Coast
Posts: 168
I know how you feel
Bekindalways I know what you mean. After all the drama of the alcoholic boyfriend stuff, after all the anguish of the breakup stuff, after all the therapy/alanon/journaling figuring it out stuff, today I sit in my house all alone. Just me. It has been cold and raining for a month and I have no energy to go outside. Just feeling lonely but resisting the urge to call my ex.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
1. How do you let go of perfectionism, today?
2. How is your self care, today?
3. How is your self-compassion, today?
Didn't shower. Imperfections are okay.
Very good. Sitting with a bunch of very uncomfortable feelings and not judging them. Accepting them for what they are. Huge progress on that!
Not so great.... self-directed anger is bubbling up.
2. How is your self care, today?
3. How is your self-compassion, today?
Didn't shower. Imperfections are okay.
Very good. Sitting with a bunch of very uncomfortable feelings and not judging them. Accepting them for what they are. Huge progress on that!
Not so great.... self-directed anger is bubbling up.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Practice mindfulness.
Even a quick exercise, such as meditating for a few minutes, can be a great way to nurture and accept ourselves while we're in pain.
This one. ^^^^^
Doing this one.... again.... and again.... and again....
It works. I really need it tonight.
Even a quick exercise, such as meditating for a few minutes, can be a great way to nurture and accept ourselves while we're in pain.
This one. ^^^^^
Doing this one.... again.... and again.... and again....
It works. I really need it tonight.
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