Tubesy

So I am still very fresh to all of this. I have been feeling well most days, but today I started having somewhat depressing thoughts. About how upset I am it's taking me forever to finally kick the binge drinking, and questioning my worth, things I did wrong in the past ect. Is this usual?

I still want nothing more than to quit, I can only imagine how much better I will feel as a whole, like I did when I lost 107 pounds, and quit smoking.

lizzyborden2011

Wow... You are doing great! Look forward! You are doing great.

biminiblue

None of us get out without some regrets, I don't think. I made some big mistakes, and some things aren't really fixable so I have to just live with that and forgive myself. I haven't made any new problems for myself since I quit, so that's important and peaceful.

I agree with lizzy, it's okay to look in the rear view mirror now and then, but don't stare! That's not the way you're going.

Some things will likely need apologies or amends (even if only to yourself) and you'll do that. One day at a time.

mecanix

In sobriety there are bad days but the further i went from my last drink the quicker the mood passes .
I don't follow the steps but i found it worthwhile working through resentments and anger i had .

Sometimes i was having what sober people call "having a bad day"

Its a new day tomorrow , maybe sleep on it, see how things are in the morning

Bestwishes, m

Jek1126

I think we all have so many regrets, but for me, that’s why I want to stay sober. All of the embarrassing, stupid, over the top things I’ve done that still give me anxiety when I think about them, were all alcohol induced.

Instead of thinking of them and feeling bad about myself, lately I’ve been trying to flip it around and think about how I will not have to worry about those things moving forward. If I stay sober, I won’t have those regrets, those nights I wish I could do over, and those cringe-worthy words that come out of my mouth when I’m drunk. Try to focus on the positive and keep looking forward. You’re moving in the right direction! Keep up the good work. We support you 🙏🏼

least

Mood swings are normal in early recovery. With more sober time they will even out. Do your best today and don't fret over yesterday.

Anna

I definitely had some dark days in early recovery. It was hard to accept that I was not the person I wanted to be and I had messed up my life. I think all you can do is try to stay positive and move on.

Silverback4

Time is the thing....just give it some and the good days and better feelings will sneak up on you so pay attention

Hevyn

Tubesy - I say it's perfectly normal & to be expected. I went through many stages as I began to heal. I was very thankful & grateful to be getting my life back, but certain memories did haunt me. I talked about it here and it really helped - I knew others had been through the same regret & remorse. We have to let it go - that behavior won't ever happen again - we'll be free and lead better lives. Please don't torment yourself. You're doing a wonderful job.

dizzybee

I don't have anything to add but wanted to say I appreciate this thread. Very much relate to a lot of this - feelings, thoughts, regrets. I like the idea of looking forward. Hard to do in the throes of the drink.

SportsFan15

^^^Ditto for me!

D122y

Tubesy,

I still suffer, but not like the first days. Each day is better.

Now I am learning to deal w the world sober.

It is sort of a new adventure. We have started a new chapter.

I am realizing the damage I have done to my life more and more. The main area that seemed to suffer was at my job. I am really lucky that I didn't get fired at some point. I was close a,few times.

I am not really going to try and make amends at work because my coworkers dont really care about me anyway. I have lost so much respect over the years.

All I can do is work hard, try to be nice, and except my fate. I deserve everything I get.

I am blessed to have been able to quit this long. Each day is a new victory.

Thanks.

Tubesy

I can't express my gratitude to all of your responses, they have made a lot of sense to me and somewhat quieted my mind. I have a past of bad anxiety (for the most part of this year it has disappeared), but I have no experience in depression, so my sudden mood swing yesterday and somewhat this morning scared me. Felt really down, but I know it will get better with time.

I just have to truck through this, I have done it last year managing 6 months. Day by day. If anyone has any recommendations for me to ease these feelings please share, I've started reading again, walking in the woods, and eating very healthy. I supplement with vitamin B complex, garlic, and turmeric so I believe my body is happy, now I have to work on my mind.

biminiblue

Did you know there are Mental Health and Anxiety subforums on this site?

One of my favorite threads on this entire site is a sticky thread at the top of the Anxiety subforum.

Here's a link;

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...anagement.html (Emotional Memory Management)

AshleyB

You can do it!!!!!!!

LuluBread

Here you are with another great link!

Done4today

Our addiction to alcohol is more than physical ailment. We need to work on our mental/spiritual life. Sounds like you have a great attitude to accept change and willingness to try new ideas. I would suggest adding a sobriety plan to your daily activities such as AA, smart AVRT. They are filled with many like us that understand the ups and downs of early sobriety. As others have said, we need to work at change so we can deal with bad days healthy. It gets easier and those bad days are fewer and further apart. And you'll notice that your perception on situations has completely changed. I went from a pessimistic, cynical A hole to someone that people ask me how I see the positive in every situation. I didn't notice the change but it happened and others notice. Sobriety is freeing from the barriers that we built around ourselves in our addiction. Good luck

Tubesy

So it's the weekend, this is where I will have to ride it out. I will stay in tonight, have a bath and read or play some video games. My emotions are all over the place, woke up happy, got some yard work done, then all of a sudden sadness. If you are reading this, and dealt with similar feelings please share how you handled them, and that this will go away with time. I am fine otherwise, but this loneliness and sadness are tough.

biminiblue

It's gonna get better. How about getting out of the house? A long walk outdoors is a great mood-lifter. I try to get one in every day. . . and I live in a rain forest.

Also, good healthy food. Protein, vegetables, grains, fats, fruit, dairy. It's all important to rebalance brain and body.

It just takes time. If your sadness is overwhelming, therapy might help - but really early sobriety is an emotional roller coaster. I said the Serenity Prayer so many times, it was on a loop in my head to chase away negative thinking.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

~Reinhold Niebuhr

Dee74

Hi Tubesy

I think they're pretty common feelings early on. I think Bims suggestion about gettign out is good, even id just a walk and feeling the sun on your face.

I don't think anyone needs to be a hermit either. I didn't want to be around alcohol but I went on coffee dates, went to the pictures (movies) had picnics, got involved with hobbies and interests again.

I call that building up my sober muscles - being around other people, but not around alcohol - not until I felt strong enough.

D