What’s the difference...
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Indiana
Posts: 105
What’s the difference...
I’m new at this Ive been doing a lot of reading to keep my mind busy because the only thing I want to do is drink I keep trying to find a reason that would make it okay to drink still fighting but my question is what is the difference between stop drinking/sober/ recovery
Last edited by Countrylife; 11-28-2017 at 02:17 PM. Reason: Wasn’t finished
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
For me the difference between "not drinking" and "sobriety" is learning to live my life in a new way, and facing/fixing my problems along the way.
If you just stop drinking alcohol but keep doing all the same things you did before, not much changes, right?
If you just stop drinking alcohol but keep doing all the same things you did before, not much changes, right?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Hi, Countrylife.
One can be sober, but not in recovery.
Sober means abstaining from alcohol or drugs, but still locked in the thinking that makes you want to drink.
In recovery means you have admitted that you have a problem with drugs or alcohol, you full heartedly want to live a substance free life, and are taking the steps to do.
Those steps can include any or all of these things:
Going to rehab.
Going to AA regularly or working another group recovery program, like SMART, or Refuge Recovery.
Going to therapy to learn ways to cope with everything.
Posting here on SR.
Joining a monthly class here, which supports the newly sober and those trying to be.
A plan that you devise that you think will help you to stay sober.
It’s generally felt that people who work an active recovery plan have a stronger chance of avoiding relapse.
Hope this helps.
One can be sober, but not in recovery.
Sober means abstaining from alcohol or drugs, but still locked in the thinking that makes you want to drink.
In recovery means you have admitted that you have a problem with drugs or alcohol, you full heartedly want to live a substance free life, and are taking the steps to do.
Those steps can include any or all of these things:
Going to rehab.
Going to AA regularly or working another group recovery program, like SMART, or Refuge Recovery.
Going to therapy to learn ways to cope with everything.
Posting here on SR.
Joining a monthly class here, which supports the newly sober and those trying to be.
A plan that you devise that you think will help you to stay sober.
It’s generally felt that people who work an active recovery plan have a stronger chance of avoiding relapse.
Hope this helps.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Yes, the difference is huge and without recovery, it would be hard to stay sober. I was a control-freak and that was a big thing I had to learn to deal with. I really needed to deal with underlying issues in order to be happy and at peace in recovery. 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I had to first STOP DRINKING
So that I could do the work of RECOVERY from all the years of addiction and abuse....
So that I could enter into a space of joyful, abundant, grateful SOBRIETY and live a far better life, free of alcohol.
So that I could do the work of RECOVERY from all the years of addiction and abuse....
So that I could enter into a space of joyful, abundant, grateful SOBRIETY and live a far better life, free of alcohol.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
If I had gotten sober without changing my life, I would have started drinking again. I had to change my attitude and learn a new way of coping with life's ups and downs.
Some people use AA or Smart recovery, or Women for Sobriety, or some other program. Some, like me, did weekly counseling with an addiction counselor. Some of us just use this site to check in and offer advice or suggestions or ask questions.
There's lots of ways to stay sober and rearrange your life for the better. Find what works for you and use it!
Some people use AA or Smart recovery, or Women for Sobriety, or some other program. Some, like me, did weekly counseling with an addiction counselor. Some of us just use this site to check in and offer advice or suggestions or ask questions.
There's lots of ways to stay sober and rearrange your life for the better.
Find what works for you and use it! Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Indiana
Posts: 105
What if you can’t change your lifestyle and have to be around drinking my husband and my family both have alcoholics in them almost every hobby we enjoy has drinking camping bonfires family get together concerts we love four wheeling that’s pretty much our life and a lot of drinking happens....seems like it’s a hopeless fight for me i want to live a happy healthy life without addiction but I know it’s goin to be a roll coaster when it’s always available
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Try not to get overwhelmed by what not drinking means and how it will cause upheaval in your current life.
Fact is, you can continue to do the things you love without drinking.
Doesn’t happen overnight, and it isn’t easy, but I am here to tell you that you can.
It begins with you.
Don’t think about anyone else and how they are going to react.
Think about you,
It starts with going one day without drinking, then another, and so on.
Keep it simple.
Don’t drink.
Today.
Peace.
Fact is, you can continue to do the things you love without drinking.
Doesn’t happen overnight, and it isn’t easy, but I am here to tell you that you can.
It begins with you.
Don’t think about anyone else and how they are going to react.
Think about you,
It starts with going one day without drinking, then another, and so on.
Keep it simple.
Don’t drink.
Today.
Peace.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 328
I watched my dad go through this in his early recovery and only now am I beginning to understand it.
This is my experience.
Whilst drinking alcohol = a drunk angry, miserable, control freak
Abstaining from alcohol = an angry miserable control freak
Active Recovery = not a perfect person but 1 million times better than the first 2.
This is my experience.
Whilst drinking alcohol = a drunk angry, miserable, control freak
Abstaining from alcohol = an angry miserable control freak
Active Recovery = not a perfect person but 1 million times better than the first 2.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 753
I concentrated on being sober to start off with,I would have found it very discouraging early on to think I’ll never drink again..it would have been all too much to cope with
As the weeks went into months then I turned my attention more to underlying issues and started a plan to change things - with a massive help from others here with advice
It took a while for me personally to clear my thoughts after quitting and start getting all my soldiers in line - but as each one did then my recovery process started
It’s a long road but a worthwhile road
Good luck :-)
As the weeks went into months then I turned my attention more to underlying issues and started a plan to change things - with a massive help from others here with advice
It took a while for me personally to clear my thoughts after quitting and start getting all my soldiers in line - but as each one did then my recovery process started
It’s a long road but a worthwhile road
Good luck :-)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 634
Originally Posted by Countrylife 
What if you can’t change your lifestyle and have to be around drinking my husband and my family both have alcoholics in them almost every hobby we enjoy has drinking camping bonfires family get together concerts we love four wheeling that’s pretty much our life and a lot of drinking happens....seems like it’s a hopeless fight for me i want to live a happy healthy life without addiction but I know it’s goin to be a roll coaster when it’s always available
I have found it possible to be around others drinking. "Will i drink today?", "no". Everyone else can do what they want.
I do go out more, taken a very busy hobby back up. The rehearsal room is actually above a pub!!
One day at a time.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by Countrylife
What if you can’t change your lifestyle and have to be around drinking my husband and my family both have alcoholics in them almost every hobby we enjoy has drinking camping bonfires family get together concerts we love four wheeling that’s pretty much our life and a lot of drinking happens....seems like it’s a hopeless fight for me i want to live a happy healthy life without addiction but I know it’s goin to be a roll coaster when it’s always available
Dee consistently mentions plans (see the thread Why I'm Always Mentioning...) - for me, it is AA and from the beginning I did EVERYTHING I could to start a new life. It is certainly hard when it's a spouse or such who still drinks - and mine is in recovery so that is a wonderful blessing- BUT your choice to get sober and start living a recovered life is always there to make.
Best to you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Dee consistently mentions plans (see the thread Why I'm Always Mentioning...)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 279
Originally Posted by Countrylife
What if you can’t change your lifestyle and have to be around drinking my husband and my family both have alcoholics in them almost every hobby we enjoy has drinking camping bonfires family get together concerts we love four wheeling that’s pretty much our life and a lot of drinking happens....seems like it’s a hopeless fight for me i want to live a happy healthy life without addiction but I know it’s goin to be a roll coaster when it’s always available
I will say that I love camping and could never imagine it without drinking, but it is way better now! We get up early, hike, and actually do outdoor activities and enjoy what nature has to offer where in the past all we did is sit around the fire and drink. I’ve gone to concerts sober too. Actually listened to the music and was able to drive myself home.
As for the difference between not drinking and recovery. Just not drinking won’t help you long term. I had to add things in to my life to help me cope with things I was using alcohol to cope with before. Then I slowly started integrating in hobbies and things that ha fallen by the wayside. It doesn’t happen overnight, but gradually you start building a life you love.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Indiana
Posts: 105
Originally Posted by oakleaf82
Well, you certainly CAN change your lifestyle. It won’t be easy though, and you might have some difficult choices to make. I am very lucky in that my spouse is also sober. You may find you will inspire others with your lifestyle change?
I will say that I love camping and could never imagine it without drinking, but it is way better now! We get up early, hike, and actually do outdoor activities and enjoy what nature has to offer where in the past all we did is sit around the fire and drink. I’ve gone to concerts sober too. Actually listened to the music and was able to drive myself home.
As for the difference between not drinking and recovery. Just not drinking won’t help you long term. I had to add things in to my life to help me cope with things I was using alcohol to cope with before. Then I slowly started integrating in hobbies and things that ha fallen by the wayside. It doesn’t happen overnight, but gradually you start building a life you love.
I will say that I love camping and could never imagine it without drinking, but it is way better now! We get up early, hike, and actually do outdoor activities and enjoy what nature has to offer where in the past all we did is sit around the fire and drink. I’ve gone to concerts sober too. Actually listened to the music and was able to drive myself home.
As for the difference between not drinking and recovery. Just not drinking won’t help you long term. I had to add things in to my life to help me cope with things I was using alcohol to cope with before. Then I slowly started integrating in hobbies and things that ha fallen by the wayside. It doesn’t happen overnight, but gradually you start building a life you love.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
people that dont have a problem with alcohol stop drinking.
people that catch it in time stop drinking,get sober and continue with life.
alcoholics stop drinking, get sober, and get into recovery.
recovery:the action or process of regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost.a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.
people that catch it in time stop drinking,get sober and continue with life.
alcoholics stop drinking, get sober, and get into recovery.
recovery:the action or process of regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost.a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington State
Posts: 591
I view drinking/using as self medicating against (something or some things going on with you and/or in your life, can be different for different people). If you stop drinking you remove the medicine which you're using to numb yourself but the underlying problem(s) are still there and therefore you're still probably going to be experiencing the pain you were trying to numb, in one way or another.
Recovery is learning a new way to live your life which addresses the underlying reason(s) you have for using, to help heal the pain so you can get to a point in your life where you either no longer feel the pain, or at the very least you understand what causes it, and don't feel it as strongly and don't regularly feel the need to run away from it any more (ie don't feel the need to self-medicate/use). Different recovery programs and/or therapy have different approaches to this process.
Recovery is learning a new way to live your life which addresses the underlying reason(s) you have for using, to help heal the pain so you can get to a point in your life where you either no longer feel the pain, or at the very least you understand what causes it, and don't feel it as strongly and don't regularly feel the need to run away from it any more (ie don't feel the need to self-medicate/use). Different recovery programs and/or therapy have different approaches to this process.
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