MarciaOKC

My 35 year old son is an addict of 15 years...on pills, then meth, then pills, the heroin, now methadone & Xanax. His "wife" is the same and they have a 15 month old son.

They have been in a methadone program for several months and are now using pills again. They have stolen me blind, totaled my car and are now threatening and harassing me. Why? Because I have no money for them.

He has a great job and will probably lose it tomorrow. They are behind on the rent. I'm not allowed to see the baby now because I don't have money.

His Father gave up years ago and left us. But I am now 65 years old and I just can not do it any longer. I feel so guilty and like I have failed him totally. My only son hates me...and I'm too weary to go any farther with his addiction. I'm very afraid for him.

Thanks for listening to me...just needed to get that out.

Sissyfuss

Hang in there, Marcia. Your son is an adult now and needs to take care of his own responsibilities such as his son. I have a36 year old stepdaughter who has lost custody of her 3 children after od'ing on heroin. Just saw her after going no contact for a year and she tells me she needs $1100 for a new apartment because she's getting evicted from her present one. Daddy has learned over the years that throwing my money at her problems solves nothing. She looked like she was on something when I saw her which is sad because she thinks she going to get her kids back soon while not doing much in regards to her recovery. After years of alcohol and drug abuse that started at a very young age I wonder if she will ever get clean. I know now that my duty is to myself and my grandkids and all I can do for her is wish her well and leave her alone to solve her own problems. I found Alanon and this site very helpful to make me aware of my enabling and codependency that helped neither me or my daughter. I wish you well and hope that your son finds his way back to a productive life. And that you take care of yourself and learn to enjoy your life again.

MarciaOKC

Thank you for the encouragement. Things are just getting worse and it will boil over before long. I can only pray that he will live through it. He and his wife are so full of hate. I was just told that I can't see my Grandson again. He has has 2 daughters that never see because of his actions with their Mothers. I am afraid of him right now...especially his wife who is very violent. I have given this to God...that's all I know to do because I can not handle any more of his addiction.

caseybell41

he doesn't hate you its his addiction talking and making decisions that a sober person wouldn't. you did not fail him

JMFburns

Marcia

Take any and all steps necessary to protect yourself.

Taking care of yourself is the only thing you can and should be doing. You can't control the actions of your 35 year old son and his wife - I'm sure you thought your were trying to over the past 15 years, but it hasn't been successful.

Make sure you are safe. You do not need to answer the phone when it rings - turn the ringer off and focus on yourself. Pray, read a book, watch tv - whatever.