nixbereuen

Dear all,

I hope this finds you all well!

The last time I came here was in 2008. I can't believe it was nearly ten years ago. It's been a long time since then and I'm not really quite sure why I didn't come back. I was quite young at the time and my ex-girlfriend was pushing me to quit drinking, but I was probably not 100% serious about it.

Well, 10 years later, I've returned but this time I'm ready. I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired that I long for the day when I no longer throw up in the mornings before (or during) work (to use just one example.)

For some time, I've suffered in silence. I've tried to explain it to friends but people just do not understand.. it's usually when I need to apologise that I try to explain, but people just don't get it, so I gave up trying. I went to AA in the hope of finding people who understand but I found more judgment than understanding there. That being said, reading the posts on SR (and actually listening to some stories from YouTube, one user "addicted to happy" comes to mind) I started to feel some solace knowing that despite the loneliness of this habit, I'm not alone. I listened to former Fox News anchor Laurie Dhue talk about lying under her desk at work praying "please just get me through today and I'll never drink again" but then finding herself repeating the whole horrible process. I can understand that feeling.

Nevertheless, I'm glad to have finally realised that something needs to change and despite numerous setbacks (too many "day ones" to count), I feel each time I get that one bit closer to making it a long term thing. Ready for the challenge and all the difficulties that come with it...!

Feeling motivated!

DarklingSong

Welcome. You will find lots of support and understanding here.

nixbereuen

Many thanks, Darkling!

DesertDawg

Hi Nixbereuen -- Like you, one of the biggest motivators for me was knowing that other people had gone through some of the same things I did during my drinking career, and were able to get better. Conversely, one of the *worst* things for me was thinking I was unique, that I was the only one taking swigs of booze before work to calm my shaking hands, I was the only one waking up at 2:30am unable to go back to sleep, sweating through my sheets. In the end, nobody has *exactly* the same experience, but always remember that no matter how bad things seem, *somebody* here has probably been there and done that, and lived to tell the tale. That fact was always re-assuring to me. Good luck, you *absolutely can* do this.

DD

Stronger2017

Welcome back nix! day 85 for me. I’ve found posting here has helped a lot. I’ve also been going to counseling since I quit.

least

Welcome back! I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

SoberLeigh

Welcome back, nixbereuen; nice to meet you.

I, too, had too many day 1s to count; I do know that it was at least a thousand.

Readiness is very helpful when it comes to sobriety and recovery.

Have you considered a Plan for sobriety? I will post a link to a really great SR thread on that topic.

SoberLeigh

As promised:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...highlight=Psst (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)

Verdantia

Hey, nix. I am glad you're back and really ready to get sober. You are definitely not alone and SR is a great place for advice and support from people who really understand. Wishing you all the best in your sober journey.

Hevyn

Good to have you back with us, Nix. We have to be ready - sounds like you are. I kept insisting I could manage it - sometimes it was fun & I was ok. It got progressively worse over the years, though. I found myself completely dependent on it and drinking every day. That's when I came to SR. The encouragement was such a relief - I was no longer alone. I'm glad you're here - you can make this huge change in your life and get free.

PinnacleOR

I’ve had many work days where I prayed to anything, anyone, any god to get me through the day. Sweats, shakes, nausea...some days I thought would never end. I’d go out to my car and sleep or find a vacant office down the hall. I’ve lost two good jobs to drinking. On job 3 now and had a relapse late October but thanks to health privacy laws they thought I was just really sick. Day 31 of sobriety today and first day back at work. My energy, focus and motivation was amazing. If I can do it, you can too!

Dee74

Welcome back nixbereuen

D