a's are from pluto, codies are from jupiter
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
a's are from pluto, codies are from jupiter
i went to my first session with a therapist last evening and was a bit nervous but think that i will benefit from going.
when i got home my ah was in an uproar - mostly mad because the neighbors were over beating on the door (one is deaf and the other i'm not quite sure if she is partially deaf) about a utility line that was down in the street. he also had bought a big screen tv and it's not working right now because they just brought it, of course it's more money to have some set it up. let me say he is in an "off" period. he drinks for 4-5 days and then goes off for 2-3 days sometimes because either he gets sick or something (quite frankly i don't know why he does this and he hasn't cared to share). needless to say when they are going thru the first stages of withdrawal they are quite on edge. i understand this, but my anxiety lies in several times in the past when he has "gone off" for several days he has ended up having seizures - last time in June of this year.
so i am anxious anyway and he just doesn't understand the need for me to go to see a therapist. i told him we both have a disease and i specifically mentioned my anxiety over past seizures and possible future ones. i also mentioned that when we had a cookout this past weekend he had been drinking and his daughter knew it and mentioned to me that she hates to be around her dad when he has been drinking.
the defense comes onto the field - i only had 1 beer (lie - he drinks hard stuff), what was i doing so bad (he just doesn't get that most folks might put up with the behavior once in a while, but we really don't like being around someone who has been drinking - it's just hard to explain how they act for them to get it).
anyway - why is it that they think that just because they are not yelling and screaming, etc. but being the passive drunk that that makes everything aok?
i really don't expect an answer - i already really know it. it just blows my mind sometimes at the different way we "see" things.
thanks for letting me blow off some steam!
when i got home my ah was in an uproar - mostly mad because the neighbors were over beating on the door (one is deaf and the other i'm not quite sure if she is partially deaf) about a utility line that was down in the street. he also had bought a big screen tv and it's not working right now because they just brought it, of course it's more money to have some set it up. let me say he is in an "off" period. he drinks for 4-5 days and then goes off for 2-3 days sometimes because either he gets sick or something (quite frankly i don't know why he does this and he hasn't cared to share). needless to say when they are going thru the first stages of withdrawal they are quite on edge. i understand this, but my anxiety lies in several times in the past when he has "gone off" for several days he has ended up having seizures - last time in June of this year.
so i am anxious anyway and he just doesn't understand the need for me to go to see a therapist. i told him we both have a disease and i specifically mentioned my anxiety over past seizures and possible future ones. i also mentioned that when we had a cookout this past weekend he had been drinking and his daughter knew it and mentioned to me that she hates to be around her dad when he has been drinking.
the defense comes onto the field - i only had 1 beer (lie - he drinks hard stuff), what was i doing so bad (he just doesn't get that most folks might put up with the behavior once in a while, but we really don't like being around someone who has been drinking - it's just hard to explain how they act for them to get it).
anyway - why is it that they think that just because they are not yelling and screaming, etc. but being the passive drunk that that makes everything aok?
i really don't expect an answer - i already really know it. it just blows my mind sometimes at the different way we "see" things.
thanks for letting me blow off some steam!
{tap}{tap}...Is this thing on?
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Getting There
Posts: 276
Chris,
Ok, the grown up me is back. It's a drag always being the grown-up in the relationship. I remember thinking, am I really asking so much from you for you to get it together just a little bit. And then I realized the answer was yeah! it was but that didn't mean I had to stop wanting him to be a grown-up.
It all seems so easy - yet for them they are so far from reality that they don't have any clue where "Reality" is on the map. The only thing that we can do is speak, live, and require the truth from and for ourselves and from and for those around us. We do that with our children, and our As don't get off the hook.
Petunia
P.S. You're wearing better prescription lenses than he is and you have your eyes open - kind of makes a difference.
Ok, the grown up me is back. It's a drag always being the grown-up in the relationship. I remember thinking, am I really asking so much from you for you to get it together just a little bit. And then I realized the answer was yeah! it was but that didn't mean I had to stop wanting him to be a grown-up.
It all seems so easy - yet for them they are so far from reality that they don't have any clue where "Reality" is on the map. The only thing that we can do is speak, live, and require the truth from and for ourselves and from and for those around us. We do that with our children, and our As don't get off the hook.
Petunia
P.S. You're wearing better prescription lenses than he is and you have your eyes open - kind of makes a difference.
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
yes (actually i am wearing prescriptions lenses) - ha!
it's just that it's hard to communicate when the quacking starts - he said i was "laying it all on him" - which i wasn't - i included myself in the disease cycle - but i guess that's just the guilt coming thru.
thanks for the astrology chuckle!
it's just that it's hard to communicate when the quacking starts - he said i was "laying it all on him" - which i wasn't - i included myself in the disease cycle - but i guess that's just the guilt coming thru.
thanks for the astrology chuckle!
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
Ever notice at we all refer to our alcoholics as AH...Guess you know this also stands for :*******: .
How appropriate, don't you think???
Smile for the day!!!
Love everyone, Kathy
How appropriate, don't you think???
Smile for the day!!!
Love everyone, Kathy
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Georgia
Posts: 341
I thought Uranus too when I read the title of this thread. How true, true, true.
And AH standing for a**hole never came to mind, but it is so appropriate (oh, man I laughed so hard I almost wet myself, that little smiley face accentuates it all so well).
Come here and blow off steam anytime, we'll be here. It actually helps!
And AH standing for a**hole never came to mind, but it is so appropriate (oh, man I laughed so hard I almost wet myself, that little smiley face accentuates it all so well).
Come here and blow off steam anytime, we'll be here. It actually helps!
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
((( Chris! )))
I just have to ask ... do you study mythology? Astrology? LOL! Your planet choices are so apt. Pluto- the god of the underworld. The ruler of all things smarmy. Jupiter- the big guy! Benevolent. Firm yet just. The ruler of ruling.
FYI Codies only THINK they are from Jupiter. They are really from Neptune. God of the turbulent sea. Jealous and vindictive. Ruler of self deception. Exceptions of course are that some addicts and some codies may be from the moon. 
I just have to ask ... do you study mythology? Astrology? LOL! Your planet choices are so apt. Pluto- the god of the underworld. The ruler of all things smarmy. Jupiter- the big guy! Benevolent. Firm yet just. The ruler of ruling.
FYI Codies only THINK they are from Jupiter. They are really from Neptune. God of the turbulent sea. Jealous and vindictive. Ruler of self deception. Exceptions of course are that some addicts and some codies may be from the moon.
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