sixth

I don't know what I'm doing, so the Team may move this thread. You can call me six, sixth, whatever ~ I'll answer. (=

I tried to type "red eyes" for a name because that is what I've had since Friday. My son came for T Giving with the sunken black 'n green under his eyes. Skinny as a green bean. Well, I've suspected... but as my son lives with a relative on Dad's side, I wasn't kept in the loop as it were. When I couldn't get ahold (took him back Friday)... couldn't get ahold of my son for 3 days, I was SO WORRIED! I'd given him his Cmas gift because he prolly won't be "here" for Cmas. Well, I'm so stupid that I gave him cash. =(

Talked to his relative that he sponges off of and he told me that he's kicked my son out before! He bought my son a *cheapo* car just to get back n forth to work... Guess what? DUI.. Okay, there goes the job, the license AND the car. ummm My son can not hold a job. He has other psych issues beyond the current drug use.

Finally after being SO SCARED as a Mom I just came out and asked the relative *homeowner* if my son was on drugs. Well *relative/landlord* who never gets a cent for food or rent told me that my son finally admitted that it was heroin.

I started BAWLIN!!! Oh my goodness, I can't bore y'all with ALL of it coz it goes back to childhood... taking him to the Psychiatrist every week, every week ... First the Ritalin, then the Concerta when it came out. It's too much to even go into.

BUT, I'm glad to see a Forum like this one! Y'all will have valuable insight as to how to handle this sort of thing. I've called EVERYONE!!! The Drug Hotline, the County Assistance Office, his past Psychiatrist, Dept of V Affairs < that might need bleeped... don't know...

The most useful was the latter that might need bleeped. She talked to me for a half hour to calm me down and help me. She DID! That's how I found this Website and I'm gonna READ IT! I need your help and ideas, desperately. I don't know how to handle a heroin addict!!!

Well, she informed ME that I need to do it just like I've heard for years... "Tough Love" Me and "relative/landlord" who doesn't get paid ... WE HAVE TO STOP BEING ENABLERS! I will NOT let him in my house if "relative" kicks him out again and he must NOT let him BACK again! He can't be buying him cars (cheapo or not!) to get back n forth to work! In the end, the Helpline Lady said, "Your son has got to WANT help, otherwise you are destroying your own lives and it will never get any better." "You must STOP enabling." =(

That's my story in short. I hope y'all accept me, I need your views, I need your help, I need to stop crying. Thanks guyz.


Sorry *edit* and I need to know how to get back to this particular Forum, or wherever it ends up if inappropriate in this Forum. =|

Actually a Berrybean in the Welcome Forum told me to paste it here as Y'ALL might be very insightful. I'm quite sure my story will bore you because you've seen it all... But WAIT there's MORE! It's a never ending story... A shame, I actually LOVE that movie. *sigh*

I hope you can give me your stories, your insight, your ways of getting through all this! I'm tired of crying.

Maudcat

Hi, sixth.
Welcome to SR.
Very sorry for your situation, but glad you have found us.
Addiction all by itself is heartbreaking.
When it’s a child, it’s the worst punch in the stomach ever.
Lots of good info here, called stickies, about coping with addiction.
Good luck and keep coming back.

sixth

Thank you Maud.... Can I put an "E" on the end of that cat? lol You certainly do sound like her. You know what you're talkin about and you ain't afraid t'share it.

Yes I sure will keep comin. I put y'all in favorites and I want to read EVERYTHING, just everything you have to offer here. I'm completely new to this, Maud... I NEED HELP! I have no clue.

Thank you.

elissa1962

Hi, and welcome. This is a great site for information. People really know their stuff and tell it like it is, whether we want to hear it or not. My advice is get YOURSELF to a meeting, Alanon, Naranon, Families Anonymous, it doesn't really matter which, just get there. They will be able to help you get through the beginning of this. I say beginning, because it never goes away, just gets easier handling it. My daughter is a heroin addict and has been going on for 7 years now. I remember that punch in the gut feeling when I found out. I knew my life would never be the same, and it hasn't been. If anyone would have told me my daughter would have been on heroin I would have said you are crazy, not my kids, I'm the cool mom, the one who knows about drugs, I'll see it coming from a mile away, Nope, it can happen to anyone. I am glad you are reaching out for support and already know not to enable, Remember the three C's, I didn't cause it (addiction), I cant control it and cant cure it, that would be up to your son. I hope you find peace. Elissa

sixth

WOW! That was stellar advice. The 3 C's. I'm gonna tell hubby about that one too! You guyz are the best. And yes, I'm perusing through the Forums like I would at Barnes & Noble approaching my birthday with my husband sighing loudly in the background as to not be noticed. =/

I finally told my son's Landlord Uncle what y'all have said from my post in ummm, the Welcome Forum to Newbees? It's at the top and y'all are so helpful and diverse in responses. I appreciate it to no end...
Oh! Sorry, I finally told him what the Lady from the Crisis Line said, "You have GOT to be done with it. He's 29 years old! He has to WANT to be helped. Don't you DARE let him in your house, nor the Uncle again, not the caring Auntie or the Ex-husband Dad... No. He should spend that time under a bridge or in a shelter till he WANTS the help.

It breaks my heart.

sixth

It breaks my heart.