Hi!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 53
Hi!
I don't know what I'm doing, so the Team may move this thread. You can call me six, sixth, whatever ~ I'll answer. (=
I tried to type "red eyes" for a name because that is what I've had since Friday. My son came for T Giving with the sunken black 'n green under his eyes. Skinny as a green bean. Well, I've suspected... but as my son lives with a relative on Dad's side, I wasn't kept in the loop as it were. When I couldn't get ahold (took him back Friday)... couldn't get ahold of my son for 3 days, I was SO WORRIED! I'd given him his Cmas gift because he prolly won't be "here" for Cmas. Well, I'm so stupid that I gave him cash. =(
Talked to his relative that he sponges off of and he told me that he's kicked my son out before! He bought my son a *cheapo* car just to get back n forth to work... Guess what? DUI.. Okay, there goes the job, the license AND the car. ummm My son can not hold a job. He has other psych issues beyond the current drug use.
Finally after being SO SCARED as a Mom I just came out and asked the relative *homeowner* if my son was on drugs. Well *relative/landlord* who never gets a cent for food or rent told me that my son finally admitted that it was heroin.
I started BAWLIN!!! Oh my goodness, I can't bore y'all with ALL of it coz it goes back to childhood... taking him to the Psychiatrist every week, every week ... First the Ritalin, then the Concerta when it came out. It's too much to even go into.
BUT, I'm glad to see a Forum like this one! Y'all will have valuable insight as to how to handle this sort of thing. I've called EVERYONE!!! The Drug Hotline, the County Assistance Office, his past Psychiatrist, Dept of V Affairs < that might need bleeped... don't know...
The most useful was the latter that might need bleeped. She talked to me for a half hour to calm me down and help me. She DID! That's how I found this Website and I'm gonna READ IT! I need your help and ideas, desperately. I don't know how to handle a heroin addict!!!
Well, she informed ME that I need to do it just like I've heard for years... "Tough Love" Me and "relative/landlord" who doesn't get paid ... WE HAVE TO STOP BEING ENABLERS! I will NOT let him in my house if "relative" kicks him out again and he must NOT let him BACK again! He can't be buying him cars (cheapo or not!) to get back n forth to work! In the end, the Helpline Lady said, "Your son has got to WANT help, otherwise you are destroying your own lives and it will never get any better." "You must STOP enabling." =(
That's my story in short. I hope y'all accept me, I need your views, I need your help, I need to stop crying. Thanks guyz.
Sorry *edit* and I need to know how to get back to this particular Forum, or wherever it ends up if inappropriate in this Forum. =|
I tried to type "red eyes" for a name because that is what I've had since Friday. My son came for T Giving with the sunken black 'n green under his eyes. Skinny as a green bean. Well, I've suspected... but as my son lives with a relative on Dad's side, I wasn't kept in the loop as it were. When I couldn't get ahold (took him back Friday)... couldn't get ahold of my son for 3 days, I was SO WORRIED! I'd given him his Cmas gift because he prolly won't be "here" for Cmas. Well, I'm so stupid that I gave him cash. =(
Talked to his relative that he sponges off of and he told me that he's kicked my son out before! He bought my son a *cheapo* car just to get back n forth to work... Guess what? DUI.. Okay, there goes the job, the license AND the car. ummm My son can not hold a job. He has other psych issues beyond the current drug use.
Finally after being SO SCARED as a Mom I just came out and asked the relative *homeowner* if my son was on drugs. Well *relative/landlord* who never gets a cent for food or rent told me that my son finally admitted that it was heroin.
I started BAWLIN!!! Oh my goodness, I can't bore y'all with ALL of it coz it goes back to childhood... taking him to the Psychiatrist every week, every week ... First the Ritalin, then the Concerta when it came out. It's too much to even go into.
BUT, I'm glad to see a Forum like this one! Y'all will have valuable insight as to how to handle this sort of thing. I've called EVERYONE!!! The Drug Hotline, the County Assistance Office, his past Psychiatrist, Dept of V Affairs < that might need bleeped... don't know...
The most useful was the latter that might need bleeped. She talked to me for a half hour to calm me down and help me. She DID! That's how I found this Website and I'm gonna READ IT! I need your help and ideas, desperately. I don't know how to handle a heroin addict!!!
Well, she informed ME that I need to do it just like I've heard for years... "Tough Love" Me and "relative/landlord" who doesn't get paid ... WE HAVE TO STOP BEING ENABLERS! I will NOT let him in my house if "relative" kicks him out again and he must NOT let him BACK again! He can't be buying him cars (cheapo or not!) to get back n forth to work! In the end, the Helpline Lady said, "Your son has got to WANT help, otherwise you are destroying your own lives and it will never get any better." "You must STOP enabling." =(
That's my story in short. I hope y'all accept me, I need your views, I need your help, I need to stop crying. Thanks guyz.
Sorry *edit* and I need to know how to get back to this particular Forum, or wherever it ends up if inappropriate in this Forum. =|
Last edited by sixth; 11-27-2017 at 10:10 AM. Reason: *edit*
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Sorry for what brings you here, but glad you found us.
Have you looked into AlAnon or NarAnon in your area? They would be good support networks and sources of advice as well. You can't have too much support.
BB
Have you looked into AlAnon or NarAnon in your area? They would be good support networks and sources of advice as well. You can't have too much support.
BB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 53
Hi Berrybean... OMGosh, what a cute name!
Well, this is what the lady told me... STOP, STOP doing and calling and internetting for your son. JUST DEAL WITH "YOU"!
I've tried everything Berry! I've called everyone, left msgs if I had to, I've "Contact Us" on every single website ~ plus got the 1-800 as well. Ummmm I was told by the Vet's Assoc Hotline to STOP IT! YOU don't need to be the one doing this for a ummm quite grown up child.
I swear I'm gonna go nutz coz I've been through this B4. Ihope they don't kick me out for this. I just joined!
Anyway, years back my son was in the Service. Graduated the "Boot Camp" (brutal lol) and 2 weeks later when he was going to go to the MAIN WAR (Iraq and Wherever, Whatever the Era's War) He went AWOL.
He ran to Mommy. Yep! Helped him find a job that he had for one and a half weeks then (quit? fired?) to this day I'm not sure. Hunny, I don't know what to do anymore. I've called EVERY BODY! And the Vet's Suicide Hotline lady understood completely ~ he's not suicidal right now, BUT HE'S GONNA KILL HIMSELF JUST THE SAME! Hey, I was in Pharm 28 years... Nowadays, they lace that junk with FAR, FAR more potent stuff. I'm sure you know that already.
Oh hunny, I just don't know what else t'do! Except like the Hotline Lady said... "NOPE!" "Can't stay here!"
I doubt it anyway, it's almost December and it's about 50 minutes drive doin 75 mph. What... bout a 4 day walk? Along a busy interstate? =( I'm tired of crying.
Berry!
Well, this is what the lady told me... STOP, STOP doing and calling and internetting for your son. JUST DEAL WITH "YOU"!
I've tried everything Berry! I've called everyone, left msgs if I had to, I've "Contact Us" on every single website ~ plus got the 1-800 as well. Ummmm I was told by the Vet's Assoc Hotline to STOP IT! YOU don't need to be the one doing this for a ummm quite grown up child.
I swear I'm gonna go nutz coz I've been through this B4. Ihope they don't kick me out for this. I just joined!
Anyway, years back my son was in the Service. Graduated the "Boot Camp" (brutal lol) and 2 weeks later when he was going to go to the MAIN WAR (Iraq and Wherever, Whatever the Era's War) He went AWOL.He ran to Mommy. Yep! Helped him find a job that he had for one and a half weeks then (quit? fired?) to this day I'm not sure. Hunny, I don't know what to do anymore. I've called EVERY BODY! And the Vet's Suicide Hotline lady understood completely ~ he's not suicidal right now, BUT HE'S GONNA KILL HIMSELF JUST THE SAME!
Hey, I was in Pharm 28 years... Nowadays, they lace that junk with FAR, FAR more potent stuff. I'm sure you know that already.Oh hunny, I just don't know what else t'do! Except like the Hotline Lady said... "NOPE!" "Can't stay here!"
I doubt it anyway, it's almost December and it's about 50 minutes drive doin 75 mph. What... bout a 4 day walk? Along a busy interstate? =( I'm tired of crying.
Berry!
Mr
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
Hi sixth. I have no experience with heroin.
I would say you should try to get him talking.
If he admitted as you say it was heroin maybe he realises whats at stake. As BB said get all the support possible.
Take care of yourself too.
V.
I would say you should try to get him talking.
If he admitted as you say it was heroin maybe he realises whats at stake. As BB said get all the support possible.
Take care of yourself too.
V.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 53
ok, I don't know yet, how to do this. I'm used to this type of communication 'n all... in fact, I was ADDICTED if you will to Tomb Raider Chat Boards. lol
I didn't even see V man's response, only Berries. Well yes, Vman as he lives with his "relative" he IS trying and he's the one that has to handle all this for now. Let me tell ya V... I'm TERRIFIED coz NOW I have to tell the *relative/landlord* OMGosh I'm so sick of saying that, can I just say Uncle?... Any way, now I have to tell Uncle that tough love is the way to go! I'm tellin ya V, this lady at Vet's Crisis Hotline was PUSHIN the Tough Love! *NO, you may NOT stay here!* etc * I'm so scared.
I didn't even see V man's response, only Berries. Well yes, Vman as he lives with his "relative" he IS trying and he's the one that has to handle all this for now. Let me tell ya V... I'm TERRIFIED coz NOW I have to tell the *relative/landlord* OMGosh I'm so sick of saying that, can I just say Uncle?... Any way, now I have to tell Uncle that tough love is the way to go! I'm tellin ya V, this lady at Vet's Crisis Hotline was PUSHIN the Tough Love! *NO, you may NOT stay here!* etc * I'm so scared.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 53
How do I respond to JJ ?
This is not like what I'm used to, but I'LL FIGURE IT OUT!
da da da laaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
Thank you JJ. I don't know how any of you came here, but I'm going to read up for sure. I need all these ideas such as Berry 'n V's and sure do appreciate your fine, fine welcome. I'm tired of crying JJ... Ya know what? Now I know where to go when life is rough and I need a lift. Thanks Sweetheart.
I hope this goes in my thread. LOL OMGosh!!! No Clue.
da da da laaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
Thank you JJ. I don't know how any of you came here, but I'm going to read up for sure. I need all these ideas such as Berry 'n V's and sure do appreciate your fine, fine welcome. I'm tired of crying JJ... Ya know what? Now I know where to go when life is rough and I need a lift. Thanks Sweetheart.
I hope this goes in my thread. LOL OMGosh!!! No Clue.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Yes, well I dare say you're going to hear the same advise here. It might be worth posting your predicament in the friends and family areas here as well as Newcomers. There are people there who have been in your exact position and will be able to share their experience strength and hope.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/#friends-family
AlAnon and NarAnon are to support friends and family of addicts. That's why I suggested them. I think the lady who has suggested tough love is spot on. Thing is that is really hard to do, and people need support in doing this and learning to still have a life despite their addict, because you didnt cause it, you cant control it, and you won't be able to cure it. (I think that's what they say anyway).
You need to look after yourself for now. Really. I hope you decide to do that.
BB x
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/#friends-family
AlAnon and NarAnon are to support friends and family of addicts. That's why I suggested them. I think the lady who has suggested tough love is spot on. Thing is that is really hard to do, and people need support in doing this and learning to still have a life despite their addict, because you didnt cause it, you cant control it, and you won't be able to cure it. (I think that's what they say anyway).
You need to look after yourself for now. Really. I hope you decide to do that.
BB x
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 53
Oh Berry. But can you imagine your kid (29 or no!) showin up on your door in January outta the blue and you can't let him in? Oh I don't know if I can pull that off. I would break down.
Thanks for your advice though, yes I'll go to the friends and family forum as well. Can I transfer this Thread there? Don't know if y'all are doin that sorta thing.
No, no key but he prolly knows where they are outside. =|
Thanks for your advice though, yes I'll go to the friends and family forum as well. Can I transfer this Thread there? Don't know if y'all are doin that sorta thing.
No, no key but he prolly knows where they are outside. =|
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Well you could leave it here and just copy and paste your original post so it's there as well. Just that not all the people from the F&F side will necessarily look in this forum, and I'm pretty sure they'll have a lot of wisdom that could stand you in good stead.
BB
BB
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,316
Hi and welcome Sixth 
You're a newcomer and your posts are very wellcome here
I can only imagine how hard it is to deal with this, but you've found a good place for advice and support
I was the alcoholic in my relationships.
I had a moment of clarity and turned my sorry life around.
I hope your son will experience that same moment of clarity.
D
You're a newcomer and your posts are very wellcome here
I can only imagine how hard it is to deal with this, but you've found a good place for advice and support
I was the alcoholic in my relationships.
I had a moment of clarity and turned my sorry life around.
I hope your son will experience that same moment of clarity.
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 53
Thanks Sober Leigh! Thanks D!
I know this is gonna take a long time and I know there's gonna be lotsa tears on my part... today the stress has set into my neck. I'm sure you've ALL been through the same aches and pain from the stress of this awful situation...
*sigh*
I know this is gonna take a long time and I know there's gonna be lotsa tears on my part... today the stress has set into my neck. I'm sure you've ALL been through the same aches and pain from the stress of this awful situation...
*sigh*
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