RUL23

Hi everyone,

I am a 32 year old male who has been drinking heavily for the last 4-5 years. I went through a divorce at a young age that helped spearhead me in the wrong direction.

Other than drinking to excess, I live a pretty healthy and normal life. However, as you can imagine, alcohol has been my go to for release, relaxation, and fun.

I am scared to death to take alcohol out of my life.

Recently, I was hospitalized for an unrelated illness and they discovered I had early signs of fatty liver.

Needless to say, I quit right away. Today is day 9. Of course I was nervous about Thanksgiving, but it went smoother than expected. I've been exercising a lot regularly and eating a better diet. It's only been 9 days...but I can say things are looking great so far.

My biggest concern....thinking years down the road of never being able to have a beer again....I'm struggling with that fear.

I know it's early in the process....but I would love to get over that fear of no booze the rest of my life.

Thanks for listening. Happy to join this forum today.

Jek1126

Hi and welcome 😊 I’m pretty new here too and am 10 days sober at this point. I relate to your fears a lot. I always think about how it will be in the future never having a drink again. What will socializing or even going out to dinner look like without my glasses of wine!?

I don’t know the answer because I’m not there yet, but what’s been helping me is to try and focus on not drinking today and worry about tomorrow when I get there. As long I get through today without drinking I am proud of that. Hope this helps! And keep going! You’re doing great! 🙏🏼

january161992

thats why its one day at a time

keep in mind ...

its the 1st drink that gets us drunk not the 20th

we cant get drunk without that 1st drink

our choice is between miserable unhappy drunken drinking and all the consequences

or

not taking 1 drink

God bless


oh yea grats on 9 days !

DontRemember

I think an ugly divorce in my early 20's started me on the wrong road as well. Which then turned me into a 'partying playboy'.. Picking up random women from bars/clubs for a few years,then I met a 'great girl'..She was a partier as well,so you know where that led after 10+yrs and multiple splits/reconnections.. No where. It's good that you're still young enough to start a new,healthy lifestyle both mentally and physically. Welcome to SR! Lots of support and advice here.

DontRemember

Fear of missing out in the future kept me drinking longer than needed and landed my ass a 2nd dui. I never understood the "one day at a time" until I was court ordered to AA. After attending a few meetings it 'clicked'. I don't have to never drink again..I just don't have to drink today. With a few months of 'just today,I'm not drinking' the fear of never drinking again faded. The 'normalcy' of drinking faded. Now I just don't want to drink anymore. I can't say I'll never drink again,but I will not drink today. I'm only coming up on a year,but as you can see by my join date, i didn't grasp the severity of my situation and didn't really listen to a lot of great advice I was given.

Anna

Welcome, and it's normal to feel very afraid to imagine life without alcohol. The disease is diabolical and this fear is one way that it keeps us hooked. If you look around here, you will see lots of people who are living happy lives without alcohol. And, you can do that, too.

Baa

Hi, I'm new here too. I went to the bar the other night when my husband had tried to help me make some friends and I didn't tell him I had a pint of gin prior to him picking me up. I got super jealous of some girl he was talking to and went off like a crazy person; to her and him... he wasn't doing anything wrong, he was trying to help me make new friends and waiting for me because it was my turn to play darts. I just can't do this anymore, my husband is way too sweet and supportive to have to deal with an alcoholic wife. I'm a very secret drinker and have a very hard time admitting to him when I've had a few, which is something I would like to stop doing. We just celebrated our 2nd anniversary and I'd love to celebrate a 20th, 50th and 60th as well. As soon as I have a sip it turns into a binge drinking session. After a few days sober, I feel great! Then I think I can control it and I never can... I want to stay upbeat and nice and happy but the guilt of putting my husband through this continuously is making me seriously depressed.

HTown

I totally get the idea of being scared never to drink again. I could never imagine it. The great news is that once you stop drinking, it is no longer a habit. You change your habits and it does not take long to realize you do not want a beer anymore. I do not even think of it at 1.5 years. Saving tons of cash, lost weight, feel great, no way I want a drink now.

RUL23

Another thing I am dealing with in my short 9 days:

Feeling of guilt...not guilt of who I have hurt necessarily. But more asking myself...Why did you do this? Why didn't you cut back? Why didn't you take more alcohol free days? Why?

I tell myself I ruined it for myself....ruined drinking that is. No more beer at the beach house...no more beer on that island vacation. No more beer decorating the Christmas tree.

Why didn't I just keep control and squash it early?

I know the answer....I just can't seem to accept it.

HTown

You could not keep control anymore than I could. We are different from other people. You did not ruin it for yourself. You do not have an off switch to begin with, you cannot fix or ruin what you do not have. Think in terms of a body difference, not a will power thing. A genetic thing.

DesertDawg

RUL, I drank heavily for about as long as you did before things really went south for me. I struggled along as a "functioning alcoholic" for about two more years before I had to go to rehab. Thankfully it 'took', and I'm doing great now.
For what it's worth -- I was a *BIG* beer drinker, I loved craft beer and, in fact, became of a bit of a beer snob. Now, I really don't miss it. Once in a while, I think a beer might be nice, but I know where it's going to lead, and I'm just not interested in going there. The juice isn't worth the squeezing anymore.

least

I wondered what I'd do in my life if I didn't drink. With some solid sober time I began to see that I didn't need to drink to enjoy myself. I'm so happy with my sober life, there's no way I'd go back to drinking. I don't miss it at all and only wish I'd quit sooner.

Betterlife1

Hi Rul! Think about it, here's some of the stuff you will be missing out on:

• Hangovers
• DUI
• Fatty Liver
• Saying stupid stuff
• Black outs
• Spending on ridiculously priced drinks
• no motivation
• etc....
  

Honestly, I'm a little over 40 days in and I do worry about "missing out" too. But I really think as you get more time your brain heals itself, not drinking becomes the new normal! At that point, you will not feel like you are missing out. Same as a child doesnt feel they are missing out by not drinking. You just feel it now in the early days...Stay with it and I'm sure things will get easier with time.

RUL23

Thanks everyone for the welcome. Looking forward to tackling day 9 tomorrow.

It set a goal of 60 days. Knowing in my mind that I never plan to drink again, but for some reason just thinking short term is helping me get by.

Need to heal my fatty liver (early stage so not much fat thankfully).

Dee74

Hi and welcome RU23

I was terrified too - but the best response is to look around here at the many sober people here who are living full and happy lives - just not drinking.

I'd been a drinker for so long I actually forgot the real me...when I stopped drinking that person stated to re-emerge...

I love being who I am again and I love life - I could never say neither as a drinker.

Give it a go - what have you got to lose?

D

RUL23

Double digits for me today. Finally. 10 days. Plan tonight is exercise!

tekink

I also had to quit due to the early signs of liver disease. I was a daily drinker for 23+ years but really went off the rails when I kicked pain meds four years ago. Some switch flipped in my brain. I had alcohol problems before but not like I had the last four years where I was blacking out almost every other night.


That fear you have when you think about never drinking again, that voice that speaks the fear is not your voice! It's the voice of your addiction (AV) trying to play tricks on you. It's convincing and hard to separate from your own voice at first. Once you identify it it's easier to kill.


I strongly suggest reading through The Crash Course On AVRT it helped me so much in my early days.

It's a hard road to travel but I'm coming up on 10 months and feeling good about it.

Crumb

Congratulations on 10 days and welcome! I'm new here too and just over 2 weeks sober.

I'm also dealing with the same fears about not having another beer. I think I'll get more used to it once I've socialised a bit more sober. On the plus side I'm feeling loads healthier and I'm stringing together a few good days which feels great. Hopefully the better things get, the less and less we'll want to go back! Good luck, man.

And thanks for the AVRT info tekink, I'm going to have a good read tonight.