Canuckleman45

Well here it is Monday morning, and well I did it again. No reason for it. Just did it. Seems like an easy thing to do quit drinking. I have cried in the past, been angry with myself, beaten myself up for failing. I am feeling like a complete failure, and starting to feel hopeless. Ever since the day I told myself I wanted to kick the habit out of my life it seems harder and harder to do it. I just need to get tougher and tougher on myself. This sucks!

August252015

Well...I'm glad you shared.

Have you tried doing it alone, like it sounds from your post? That is really tough. I feel like I've seen your username but can't recall if you have shared trying a program like AA or another with which many of us have found strength and support and ultimately, sobriety and recovery (at least today!).

And, what you are going through isn't stupid- it's addiction. It's possible to gain a peaceful life that doesn't include alcohol- that's up to you, and then using a program and other support to keep going.

You can do this.

Awake61

Get back on the path. Each time I believe, you gain more insight. Don't give up!

Canuckleman45

Thanks August. I have a wonderful wife and two kids so I’m not “alone” but I am doing it on my own I guess. I have continuously talked myself out of aa. I haven’t tried aa as of yet as I feel if I go to a meeting then it’s official. I’m an alcoholic. Which I already know that I am.

tomsteve

canuckleman, youve mentioned AA meetings- have you gone?
you had a thread What’s the trick to avoid a relapse? where,IMO, scott had the best reply there
Lots of good advice here already Canuckleman. I would also suggest that the best way to avoid drinking is to have a plan in place.

If someone wants to lose weight, they come up with a plan that generally involves diet, exercise, etc.

If someone wants to learn to play an instrument, they learn theory, and practice

If someone wants to bake a cake, they find a recipe, buy the ingredients, follow the instructions and clean up afterwards.

Getting sober is no different - simply "not drinking" is not enough. This link is a great read for what others have done if you've never read it:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...at-we-did.html (Recovery Programs & What to Expect (What We Did))


ill add to that, if someone has cancer(like me), they get it treated or it kills them.
alcoholism has to be treated,too- just putting down the drink and going to the gym wont treat alcoholism. that doesnt address the underlying issues alcohol is a symptom of.
a great way to start is to surrender- admit alcohol has ya licked.
then be willing to go to any lengths for victory over alcohol

Canuckleman45

You’ll be the first to know when I do go. Because what I’m doing now isn’t working.

Canuckleman45

Would I be looking at an open or closed meeting?

PinnacleOR

Hi Canuckleman, I can totally relate, I’ve tried and tried and always stumbled, this last one was a bad stumble. Tried for 10 years to quit. I’ve read every recovery book, tried vitamins, meditation, etc. The one thing that has been missing is people. I’m a loner, I’ve isolated, and thought I could outsmart alcohol with my graduate degree and book smarts. I’m 50 and it hasn’t worked. This time I’m being humble and asking for help. It’s against my nature and it feels uncomfortable but I’m doing it.Day 31 today, do what it takes to stay sober today,number 1 priority. Don’t underestimate the power of this disease, or the wonders that wait in sobriety. I’m up at 6am feeling great,and I have today,sober.

PinnacleOR

Open or closed meeting, whatever, just go. You will be welcomed with a hug and lots of support.

Good luck, we’ll be thinking of you. Come back and post how it was.

Anna

I hope that you find a plan that works for you.

Berrybean

Onen means that anyone with an interest in alcoholism can go along. Closed means it's just for those folk who are stopping drinking. I preferred closed meetings initially as I was very worried about confidentiality / anonymity / everything.

You're right in that yes, it does make it final. It means we are fully accepting the notion that we can NOT drink like a normal person, no matter how we manipulate the environment or our wallet or our company. And maybe, just maybe, that's what was missing before.

I hope you at least give it a good go (a month of regular meetings?) I can't think of anywhere I wanted to go to less that AA at the beginning, And even now, sometimes it's a bit of a chore to go back out once I've got home. But once I'm there I feel safe. People understand my ways and thinking without me having to explain or pretend. It's like getting into a warm bubble bath when people and life are getting too challenging for my comfort or sanity.

BB

heavencanwait

Oh oh...were you watching the Grey Cup? That would be a definite trigger! Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep on keepin' on. No judgment here. Oh but I am bummed that the Stamps did not win the Grey Cup! So close! That is our team...

FreeOwl

you don't need to get tougher on yourself. That'll just make it worse.

you just need to choose sobriety and then support that choice with action.

go to a meeting.

or.... keep drinking until it gets bad enough you're finally ready to want it.

biminiblue

"Why is this so hard"?

You are making it hard. It's an addiction and the only way out of addiction is to stop doing the thing and then deal with the discomfort for as long as it takes. Part of the discomfort is the circling shark thoughts. You have to figure out a way to distract yourself away from the thoughts.

asixstringnut

canuckleman
I am glad you are here. I can relate to how you feel about AA.
I hope you find the answers you are looking for on here.
This is a great place to get help and advise.

asixstringnut

nez

You don't need to be an alcoholic to go to AA, just have a desire to stop drinking. What does it hurt to go and listen to advice about how other people stopped drinking? Knowledge helps people to make better choices. Going to a meeting will increase your knowledge base which could help with future decisions.

Canuckleman45

Heavencanwait yes I’m busted. I was watching grey cup. And I am bummed out as well. Nice to see another calgarian on SR.

tnek97

Admitting that you are alcoholic is a scary thing. But what is the alternative? Thinking that you may be an alcoholic while continuing to drink?

Either way, you have a problem with alcohol. Being honest with yourself, and claiming the "alcoholic" title can actually be a bit empowering. It means you are being honest with yourself, you are standing up for yourself, you are daring to begin a new journey in which you claim back your life.

Begin your journey. Discover that instead of life without alcohol being boring, a life without alcohol is just that: a life! A life worth living.

You don't have to say it to anyone but yourself to start. Then maybe SR. And then AA. We understand, and we support you!

DangerZone

First don't feel like a failure. You are still in the process of getting sober. You are only a failure if you continue to drink and give up.

Remember, we all drink/use drugs for a reason. For people like us who want to get sober there's always going to be a reason we choose to ignore the consequences of alcohol and drink. Even if we don't want to admit it or we can't figure it out, trust me it is there.

Try to figure out the reason you drank. It might be something as simple as boredom but figuring out the reason will help you come up with a plan to quit.

I can only speak for myself but figuring out the reasons I was doing this self destructive behavior was huge. I learned that the benefits I thought alcohol was giving me were in reality making things much worse. If there were real benefits (very few) i figured out alternatives that wouldn't ruin my life like alcohol had. I also learned a lot about my strengths/weaknesses as a person in the process.

The less reasons you have to drink the less likely you are to do it. Eventually you'll see that for people like us there really is no good reason to drink.

Good luck and remember we are here for you.

Canuckleman45

Thanks for all the positive posts guys!!! I sure appreciate the support and I hand out mine when I can. Usually somebody that’s kind of plugging along like me. Thanks again.