Gru

Just wanted to vent about how lonely I feel, having chosen to be with someone who would rather go out drinking than spend time in the same place with me. Someone who feigns tiredness as an excuse for not being together when in fact they are "having a beer at the club" right now.

I have had before, a partner who likes to be with me, enjoys reading together, cooking food, going for walks, instead of rushing through the day to get to that barstool.

In therapy I've become aware that this is just an echo of my loneliness as a child, my parents busy, neglectful. I felt a burden and an afterthought. And still do. So this is my familiar place. This hurt is my normal. I need to do more work to get through this. I guess, learn to advocate for myself. It feels like turning my skin inside out.

Thanks for listening. I'm grateful for the stories here. Less alone.

rae145

I was always second set with my xah. That is lonely. Im sorry any of us have had to go through that. I was a slow learner too...it took 32 yrs to leave.

BrokenCrayons

Hey Gru,
Feeling lonely too. My husband is alone in his office, staring at his computer screen and downing beer after beer after beer...

Bekindalways

I remember how lonely I felt with my XABF even though it was decades ago. Man oh man was it hard.

I've wound up being single my entire life and have never again been that lonely.

Hugs to all of you. It is so very hard to be in a relationship with an alcoholic.