FreeOwl

I spoke with someone recently who asked me questions about how I'd gotten sober.

She is caught up in what to me is clearly alcohol addiction - but only in her 20's so finding it really hard to wrestle with the idea of ever just NOT drinking.

How, she wondered, had I managed to give up on all the FUN??

What I gave up on was:

Suffering the consequences of alcohol - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, legally and in relationships

Fear and shame and self-loathing

The vicious, pointless, never-win cycle of trying to be 'normal'

Slowly, painfully destroying my life

Making excuses

Lying to myself

Being irresponsible

Undermining my integrity

Being untrustworthy

Endangering myself and others

Hurting people I care about

Setting a terrible example

Being unreliable

Being mean

Not considering others

Ungodly hangovers

Crippling debt

The risk of losing my children

DUIs

Jail

Prison

Death-by-alcohol


I didn't give up on any fun at all. In fact, I came to recognize how little of my alcohol-fueled life had ever been "FUN". I came to understand what FUN really is. I came to discover that this cherished life is filled with FUN and opportunities for genuine FUN abound, everywhere - none of them requiring alcohol.

I gave up on all the time spent wasted on alcohol and with much of that time I regained, I was able to discover new realms of FUN that I'd never even knew about.

Sobriety is FUN.

Alcohol is NOT.

Sinderos

Until recently, after a binge of going out to bars to party, I didn’t want to give up the “fun” either. After some situations I never would have been in and doing some things I never would have done I realized I wasn’t having fun.

Fun is not regretting what you did, what you said, reading some horrible texts you wrote and feeling like a piece of crap. Not to mention realizing you could have woke up in jail, killed someone or yourself.

The isolation of home drinking where your only “friends” are the people you see on FB wishing you had real friends to do stuff with but knowing you’re drinking is gonna keep you from doing that. Being a slave to the drink is no way to live.

I’m just waking up to these realizations. I’m looking forward to the day when I am actually living. I’m finally on that path.

Thank you for this post. It is affirmation that alcoholism will slowly kill you whether it is physically or your spirit.

August252015

Everything is better sober. Period.

PeacefulWater12

FreeOwl, wonderful list. Inspiring. I was nodding all the way through as I read it. Thanks so much for posting

There is nothing FUN about drinking for me now.

I agree, August, everything gets better when living a sober life. My drinking life wasn't a life, it was an existence. Very gratefully sober.

PinnacleOR

I will admit I had some fun times in college that involved alcohol. But that was then, this is now. There is absolutely NOTHING fun about alcohol and me now. Only misery, including all of the things on your list. I'm done with it.

Day 26 and loving it!

SaturatedSeize

I'd be lying to myself if I didn't recognize I did have a lot of "fun" when I was drinking. Drinking and going to concerts, playing pool/darts at the bar, playing disc-golf (or regular golf). Playing cards or other board games with friends. Keeping it at the level of minor to moderate buzz and letting myself let loose "a little bit." I have more "fun" memories of drinking then horrible.

It's the horrible ones that made my decision to be sober. I'd never know if said night out would be a "fun" one or horrible one. It was a gamble EVERY time. I don't have it in me any longer to load that gun with one bullet and spin the chamber when I put that first drink to my lips. I know I can't drink in moderation, and as much as I want to try it sometimes, I know I can't risk it, because all the trust and confidence I've gained could very possibly be gone again in one horrible event and I'd likely lose all motivation to be sober again.

The risk is NOT worth the reward.

Thank you for sharing your list, I agree 100%.

Cuckoo

I am new/back here again but oh my goodness Sinderos.......your post is exactly how I am feeling right now, every word of it. What a life poorly led I have had 😢
C

FreeOwl

I had a lot of that rationale too....

over time I realized - all of those things would have been just as fun. Probably MORE fun - even if I hadn't been drinking.

It wasn't that DRINKING made life FUN. It was that in my LIFE, I was always DRINKING.

My addicted brain wanted the conclusion to be DRINKING = FUN, because that conclusion would lead me to giving it more booze.

asixstringnut

I also had fun in the early years of my drinking. But somewhere it switched to an addiction. I can't remember the last time drinking was fun.
So with 21 days sober it is time to have sober fun.

DreamCatcher17

Great post! Thank you!

I personally gave up on
Hangovers
Lack of fun things to do with my son
Lack of self-respect
Using only friends
Worthlessness at work
Worthlessness at home
and so much more

I have gained so much time, energy, love, and life!

Iw ould never want to go back to those things above, I am great where I am.

I am confident, most days
Loved, giving and receiving easily
Stand my ground
Say what is on my mind
Getting out of debt!

Whoop whoop to SOBRIETY!!!!

SoberLeigh

As always, great thread, FreeOwl.

Forward12

I think this is why alcoholism is such a long and drawn out addiction as it is all fun and games at first, and before you know it, it quickly turns into full blown addiction that can seem impossible to get out of.
I know when I was in my 20's, the thought of not drinking was impossible as the consequences were few, though as the years go on, they keep piling up and piling up until we finally realize it just isn't worth it.

Verdantia

Excellent writing, FreeOwl. It wasn't fun for me to wreck my car and give myself a brain injury; not fun to inflict pain and worry upon people I love, awful to lose my friends' trust and respect. It IS fun to wake up clear-headed, grateful, and excited to start each day and make it a good one.

SportsFan15

Well said FreeOwl!

Time2Rise

Wise words Freeowl, and we'll timed; I really needed to read what you just wrote. Thank you.

gettingsmarter

I miss waking up in the middle of the night with an impending sense of doom. That never got old.

Outonthetiles

I really miss losing entire weekends by being so drunk I couldn't even leave the house to buy food, and losing entire Sundays to being hungover.

Bluemilk

This is exactly what I keep telling myself when my AV starts telling me that everyone in that pub is having so much fun or that a few beers will be fine. Somedays I feel like I have 2 people in my head but it's nice to see other people voice the rational thoughts I have; it helps me realize my AV is just that. Thank you for taking the time to write this post.

thomas11

The lying, justifying our actions and...oh yeah, the lying. Terrible existence.

MindfulMan

I laughed aloud at that. So true!

I have a lot of "fun" memories of drinking as well, but as the disease progressed the "fun" more often became extremely un-fun.

I like being more present.

And I like my sober self better.

Apparently everyone else does too.