Kk1976

I am so hurt by the lies my husband has told about using. He's going to prison on December 1st for a 5 year sentence. I don't understand how if you love someone, you could put them through financial insecurity, emotional insecurity and risk everything for a drug. Can they actually love anyone but themselves?

Dee74

Hi KK - I'm very sorry for what brings you here - but you're not alone

This is a great place for support, both this forum and our Family and Friends section too.

D

Kk1976

Thank you. I'm really heartbroken and don't understand this. I never lied. I quit any drugs over 15 years ago. Why can't he quit? Why didn't he love me enough to quit? If I'm in the wrong thread let me know. I'm really a big ball of nerves now

Dee74

You;re not in the wrong forum - Newcomers is open to anyone.

It would be awesome if love was enough to cure stuff like this but time and again I see relationships breaking up because someone can't break their addiction and there's no room in a relationship for 3 parties where the 3 rd party is addiction.

I wish I had answers for you. You seem like a nice decent person just like the rest of us here.

Are you going to move on or wait for this guy?

D

Kk1976

Well i doubt i will wait. He's hurt me too much and he's been an addict for over 30 years. This will be the third time in prison. I think he got with me thinking i could help him not be a drug addict but he never let go of his connections and loser friends, nor will he and my daughter doesn't deserve this. I love him but he's hurt me deeply. All the promises were lies. My focus now is on keeping a roof over our head.

Dee74

FWIW, I think you have your priorities straight.

D

August252015

Hi KK- glad you are with us.

What a tremendous amount of heartache- I am so sorry. Like Dee said, I do think your priorities are straight in this horrible situation. Your daughter will be grateful and you will be proud of yourself by changing your life.

To the "love my enough" part, as the alcoholic I can agree with Dee- it just isn't about love when addiction takes hold. I love my parents and everyone else who suffered bc of my drinking- but I couldn't stop for anyone but me.

Hope to see you here- take good care of yourself and your daughter.

FLCamper

Kk, have you tried any programs like Al Anon? They provide support for those who've been in relationships with addicts. You don't say how old your daughter is, but she might benefit, too.
If you read through some of these posts and threads, you'll know you're not alone. That helps.

Kk1976

Thank you for listening. I love this person so much but he's killing me. I went to al anon once. Think its time to go back. My daughter is 11 by the way, and she hates him for what he's done. I feel bad for telling him off and as he said, browbeating him, but im so hurt and angry. How could he do this to me?

nez

There is nothing wrong with loving him. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do, is to let someone go so that they can hit their bottom. Also when thinking about love, don't forget to factor in love for your kids. What would be the most loving thing you could in their best interest? And don't forget about love for yourself. What would be the most loving thing you could in your best interest?

Anna

I'm glad you're planning to go back to AlAnon, and I'm sorry for your situation.