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Now to handle friends...

Old 11-14-2017, 06:07 PM
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Now to handle friends...

Last night I posted my first thread all about my back story. Reading everyone’s stories and reading all of your comments made me feel strong. Thank you all for the support.

Now I’m at a crossroads. For the first time in my life, I want to be sober, and stay sober. What about my friends? Of course being a heavy drinker, you tend to surround your self with drinkers. Any advise on what to do? What to say? None of my friends are heavy drinkers...it was just me. They like to party and all, but where does that leave me?

-Chris
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Old 11-14-2017, 06:11 PM
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Just let them know that you've quit drinking. You don't need to go into detail, just tell them you don't drink anymore. If they're true friends, they'll support your decision and new lifestyle.

I've been sober a while now, and one thing I know to be true; I've never woken up sober and wished I had drank the night before.
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Old 11-14-2017, 06:12 PM
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Originally Posted by least View Post
Just let them know that you've quit drinking. You don't need to go into detail, just tell them you don't drink anymore. If they're true friends, they'll support your decision and new lifestyle.

I've been sober a while now, and one thing I know to be true; I've never woken up sober and wished I had drank the night before.
Very true! Thanks!
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Old 11-14-2017, 06:14 PM
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For me, sobriety comes first. If I feel like attending an event, I will. I'll also be armed with an action plan in case I have the urge to drink, I will always drive myself and alone or with someone who knows I may leave at any point no questions asked.

I have been in 2 situations so far where alcohol was around.
The first I was 40 something days and the second was a week later.

I have not had any desire to drink, what's so ever. So, that made these situations easy for me to be in. Had I had a craving at any point up to the event, I doubt I would have gone as I could have used my surroundings as an excuse.

I have let go of mostly all my friends that drink, maybe down the road we'll chat again but not now because all they do is drink, maybe not as much as me but I have no desire to be around people drinking.

Many good advice coming your way, I am sure from others
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Old 11-14-2017, 06:17 PM
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Yeah, I think it's good to remember that you don't owe anyone an explanation. Recovery is a very personal journey.

For me. I couldn't be around alcohol or people who were drinking for quite a long time, many months. Something you might want to think about is doing things that support your recovery, things that don't revolve around drinking.
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Old 11-14-2017, 06:47 PM
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I was very much like Anna only took me well over a year to be around any one drinking than I couldn't handle it more then a 1/2 hour . Most of my friends were heavy drinkers I told them they could visit me , but not drink . Needless to say my number of true friends dwindled .
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Old 11-15-2017, 01:37 AM
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The difficulty is telling anyone other than your absolute closest friends that you are an alcoholic. I have only just come to terms with this myself and I don't particularly want to broadcast it to all and sundry. Of course, if they don't understand the urgency or the absolute necessity that you protect your sobriety, they may feel able to try to cajole you into having a drink. I would like to think that if they knew, they would be understanding and supportive.
I have taken to telling people a diluted version of the truth, which is that alcohol causes me to become very anxious, so I'm just not doing it anymore. That seems to be working so far. I suppose I am fortunate that I am happy enough to be around people who are drinking without it making me want to drink. In fact, being around people and watching them become less and less articulate as they drink more and more makes me really happy that I am not going the same way.
Good luck with it all.
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Old 11-15-2017, 10:41 PM
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Everybody's different.

My friends were extremely supportive in my initial sobriety, many came to my rehab every Sunday for visiting hours when knew that needed to know where I was going, so they wouldn't think I'd disappeared or died. I wasn't all that rational at that point, which may have ended up working in my favor.

I don't have a problem being around alcohol. I'm done with it. So I can go out with friends, eat at a bar, and talk to them while they have a cocktail or two, and have no cravings to drink myself. I love to cook and pair wine with food, and I can serve wine to friends and have no desire to drink it myself.

I'm VERY lucky, but I STILL ALWAYS have an exit plan. I've also explained ahead of time that I may need to leave suddenly, and they'd bail with me, no questions asked.

Everybody's different. You'll figure it out. If you can't be around alcohol, at least some of your true friends will understand and comply. If they are heavy drinkers and can't, they are not people you need to be around any more
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