PinnacleOR

Well, the good news is that I'm on Day 12 now and feeling much better. Still not sleeping well, and am on meds for an infection I had at the same time I went into detox last week. The body is still battered and bruised (literally) but there is light and optimism now.....

I'm facing a dilemma and could use some wisdom from the forum. I live and have a good job on the west side of the country. I've had the job for about 6 months. Two weeks ago I had a monster binge episode and landed in the hospital for 4 days. I'm 50 yo and the binges are getting worse - I'm afraid the next one may literally kill me. I know very few people where my job is, and find myself feeling very lonely when not working - which is closely tied to my drinking.

My family is all on the east coast. I am with them now, and when I am with them I hardly think of drinking at all. If I had an ideal scenario it would be to live with my family for the next year while I recover, and do this job at the same time. However, the job is very local, and I am pretty certain that if I live on the east coast I will not be able to keep the job. There are few similar jobs on the east coast, so I would likely be out of work living on the east coast with my family, and I have little in the way of cash reserves.

I love the job, but I NEED my sobriety. So do I quit the job and live with family and be sober but broke? Or do I stick with the job and re-double my efforts to find local support in AA and through other means?

ChloeRose63

Sober can be for a lifetime and many, many great opportunities happen to a sober, healthy, positive, enthusiastic, loveable, well-deserving person.
I choose sobriety and a chance to create the life of my dreams. That itself would be my "riches". The money would follow.

August252015

IMO and IME, we can be sober in any environment, work or other. I say this as someone who worked in restaurants while drinking, and then for a year after I got sober (I went back to the place I had worked at 5mo sober).

The critical thing is to accept that we don't drink, period. For me, AA has led to my problem being removed and I do react to alcohol "normally and rationally" as the BB promises if we follow the suggestions and steps of the program - I focus on my emotional sobriety now and that is my key to handling life, when alcohol is involved or not.

That first decision of acceptance is the key to everything about how we live in recovery that can follow.

BixBees505

Day 12 is pretty early to try to make such a weighty decision. How long are you staying with family before you need to return to work, Pinnacle?

doggonecarl

You haven't provided a lot of detail about your drinking history other than saying you've been a heavy drinker since college and now you are 50.

So in all that time, you've done your drinking when separated from your family?

I ask because I suspect that you've done a fair share of your drinking around your family. Maybe not epic binges, but you drank. If that's not the case, I apologize. If that is the case, then perhaps counting on being around your family to be your sole component of recovery is more wishful thinking than reality.

Wherever you are, you are going to have to put a lot of effort into your recovery. Decide what your biggest triggers are going to be and address them. Is it being away from your family? Or without work and broke?

Anna

This is just me, but perhaps leaning on your family too much will not give you the confidence to believe that 'you' are capable of recovery. If you are with your family and cannot work, how would you fill your days?

Congratulations on Day 12! Take some time before you make this major decision and think it through. Follow your heart.

theVman31

that is good news 12 days !
You can get all the help you can get and you should, post as often as it takes, stay concentrated on one day - TODAY and just ACCEPT that its the grog thats the problem not which coast your family are on.

We alcoholics could be sad because we are not on the east western coast

I hope you find your path to that light !

DreamCatcher17

Congrats on 12 days!

For me personally, I would continue my job find AA meetings get a sponsor and work the steps.
We still need money to live
We still need to pay bills, eat, etc...

In my field, it is not uncommon to go for drinks during lunch and stay at the bar all day and catch an Uber home. That would happen all the time.
Now, I just don't go to those functions. They were not client related, just a drinking session.

While it may be lonely on the West Coast, finding new sober friend may help with that. Going to sober events.
I believe one can enjoy their time alone, going to movies, restaurants, etc... Good character building.

Best of luck! Do what is best for you!

PinnacleOR

Thanks all, I appreciate the comments. All I know is that when I have been home with family for the holidays, on vacations, etc.I don't want to drink at all.And that's huge. My thought was to use this "safe zone" as a launch pad for implementing a recovery plan, including 90 meeting in 90 days, etc. And when I have more sober time under my belt (like 6+ months), THEN I will have the strength and tools to head back out in the world. Is that flawed thinking? Sure, I may lose the job but I will gain a life changing new foundation of sobriety.

doggonecarl

Putting sobriety first is never flawed.

HTown

Keep the job and build a sober life you love where you are now. Use the money from the job to fly home often and visit. You will save a ton of money if you stop spending it on alcohol. I know I do.