6 Months today
6 Months today
It's been a wild ride, particularly the first two months, with detox, inpatient rehab, and post-rehab depression once the initial pink cloud evaporated.
At that point I really started working it. IOP, AA, psych meds, diet and exercise. It's working big time.
I went out with a friend for Mexican on Saturday. We sat at the bar, she had two margies. I wasn't even remotely triggered. If I had been, I would have left, and she knows this.
I'm enjoying being sober so much that I have no desire whatsoever to drink or use, and I've gotten lots of tools to make sure that it stays that way, as well as recognize that I'm not out of the woods, and never will be completely free from drugs and alcohol looming over me.
Life is going well, work, therapy, and I'm in better physical shape than I've been in 30 years, having lost 35 pounds of fat and gained a bit of lean muscle. I'm happy and relaxed, and making a sober circle through various 12 Step programs (AA & CA and all-fellowship, which is my favorite). Any lingering doubt, negative self-image or self-destructive behavior related to my sexuality, which I've been struggling with all of my life, is gone. I'm not dating yet, but I'm flirting heavily, and have started to get attention in meetings, the gym, even out at Trader Joes. I'm pretty sure that people like the new look, but more importantly I'm radiating self confidence, which I think is very attractive in many ways. People seem to be reacting more positively to me, and like me better sober. I like me much better sober. I am falling in love with people in general, and my heart is far more generous than it was six months ago.
I've worked through Steps 1-3. I REALLY got Step 1 in rehab, and a temporary sponsor who I have so much respect for in so many ways helped me pick my way through Step 2 and 3. He's very by the book, was raised Baptist and has a fairly strong Christian orientation, but helped me through my mistrust with Christianity stemming from a strict Catholic upbringing define a "higher power" in my own way. His generosity and open-mindedness was truly humbling, and I'm glad he's in my life, as well as that whole group. I have people to call 24/7/365 in case I'm having a crisis...just knowing it's there makes me sleep better at night. My therapist is helping me through Step 4 as well, again in my own way. To me, Steps 1, 4 and 12 are the most important, but I'll work through them as I see fit. I'm starting to be of service to my groups and my community as a whole.
Sobriety is working for me, I've never been happier and healthier. I have no desire to drink or drug, because I'm an addict and sobriety works so much better for me. I have no regrets that I can't drink socially, and yet harbor no resentment or envy towards people who can drink non-alcoholically.
I firmly believe that anyone can become sober if they're ready and work every aspect of sobriety with every tool that they can find. Drinking sucks. Sobriety is where it's at. And helping anyone through the process is a huge reason why we're all here.
While there are addicts still suffering out there, we still have lots of work to do.
At that point I really started working it. IOP, AA, psych meds, diet and exercise. It's working big time.
I went out with a friend for Mexican on Saturday. We sat at the bar, she had two margies. I wasn't even remotely triggered. If I had been, I would have left, and she knows this.
I'm enjoying being sober so much that I have no desire whatsoever to drink or use, and I've gotten lots of tools to make sure that it stays that way, as well as recognize that I'm not out of the woods, and never will be completely free from drugs and alcohol looming over me.
Life is going well, work, therapy, and I'm in better physical shape than I've been in 30 years, having lost 35 pounds of fat and gained a bit of lean muscle. I'm happy and relaxed, and making a sober circle through various 12 Step programs (AA & CA and all-fellowship, which is my favorite). Any lingering doubt, negative self-image or self-destructive behavior related to my sexuality, which I've been struggling with all of my life, is gone. I'm not dating yet, but I'm flirting heavily, and have started to get attention in meetings, the gym, even out at Trader Joes. I'm pretty sure that people like the new look, but more importantly I'm radiating self confidence, which I think is very attractive in many ways. People seem to be reacting more positively to me, and like me better sober. I like me much better sober. I am falling in love with people in general, and my heart is far more generous than it was six months ago.
I've worked through Steps 1-3. I REALLY got Step 1 in rehab, and a temporary sponsor who I have so much respect for in so many ways helped me pick my way through Step 2 and 3. He's very by the book, was raised Baptist and has a fairly strong Christian orientation, but helped me through my mistrust with Christianity stemming from a strict Catholic upbringing define a "higher power" in my own way. His generosity and open-mindedness was truly humbling, and I'm glad he's in my life, as well as that whole group. I have people to call 24/7/365 in case I'm having a crisis...just knowing it's there makes me sleep better at night. My therapist is helping me through Step 4 as well, again in my own way. To me, Steps 1, 4 and 12 are the most important, but I'll work through them as I see fit. I'm starting to be of service to my groups and my community as a whole.
Sobriety is working for me, I've never been happier and healthier. I have no desire to drink or drug, because I'm an addict and sobriety works so much better for me. I have no regrets that I can't drink socially, and yet harbor no resentment or envy towards people who can drink non-alcoholically.
I firmly believe that anyone can become sober if they're ready and work every aspect of sobriety with every tool that they can find. Drinking sucks. Sobriety is where it's at. And helping anyone through the process is a huge reason why we're all here.
While there are addicts still suffering out there, we still have lots of work to do.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Mindful I love it! That’s the kind of sobriety I want, and am working toward, huge congratulations on your six months, getting fit, and generally becoming more awesome. Goals! That’s why my name here is stayingsassy, lol.
I’m also looking forward to being of service to other alcoholics and becoming more centered, peaceful and accepting. I feel glimmers of this and I know it will only get better.
So glad you’re at SR!
I’m also looking forward to being of service to other alcoholics and becoming more centered, peaceful and accepting. I feel glimmers of this and I know it will only get better.
So glad you’re at SR!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
Pleased to read about your 6 months of sobriety ,congratulations .
When you say "as well as recognize that I'm not out of the woods, and never will be completely free from drugs and alcohol looming over me." What do you mean as you did freely sit at the bar .
My relapses always occurred after a good spell of sobriety when I felt good . For this reason I would not put myself on a bar stool at my 3 months of hard earned recovery .
When you say "as well as recognize that I'm not out of the woods, and never will be completely free from drugs and alcohol looming over me." What do you mean as you did freely sit at the bar .
My relapses always occurred after a good spell of sobriety when I felt good . For this reason I would not put myself on a bar stool at my 3 months of hard earned recovery .
Pleased to read about your 6 months of sobriety ,congratulations .
When you say "as well as recognize that I'm not out of the woods, and never will be completely free from drugs and alcohol looming over me." What do you mean as you did freely sit at the bar .
My relapses always occurred after a good spell of sobriety when I felt good . For this reason I would not put myself on a bar stool at my 3 months of hard earned recovery .
When you say "as well as recognize that I'm not out of the woods, and never will be completely free from drugs and alcohol looming over me." What do you mean as you did freely sit at the bar .
My relapses always occurred after a good spell of sobriety when I felt good . For this reason I would not put myself on a bar stool at my 3 months of hard earned recovery .
Being at a bar with a friend who's drinking is simply not a trigger for me. As I still have friends who drink "normally," I can still socialize with them even if they have a drink or two. Having an open bottle of hard liquor at home? NO WAY.
As I said, if I felt remotely triggered I would have left and called a sober friend.
Everybody's different, there are other things I need to be vigilant about. If that changes, I won't sit at the bar in restaurants with a friend who is drinking. What I've seen when people relapse is that they don't really have to do anything to stay sober, usually trying to do it alone.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
Brilliant Mindfulman ,your thread is very helpful .
Now and again my family will have a few sniffters and some music on and it doesn't bother me ( not so far at least ) . Like you , if it starts to make me feel like i,m losing out I will make some changes .
Thanks again
Now and again my family will have a few sniffters and some music on and it doesn't bother me ( not so far at least ) . Like you , if it starts to make me feel like i,m losing out I will make some changes .
Thanks again
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