Finding a healthy inner voice
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Finding a healthy inner voice
Thank you, firebolt for these words....
Originally Posted by firebolt 
I think we minimize
ATROCITIES that happen to us for several reasons.
1 - to get through it in the moment, and to live with what happened in the future.
2 - out of deep rooted shame for being in the situation
3 - out of fear of having to change
Many things you have been through are NOT OK. We stifle that voice inside us that says its NOT OK because subconsciously and sometimes consciously (for the people well more self aware than I) we don't think we deserve any better.
You do deserve better. You can start monitoring your inner voices - and weed through the ones that are sick you talking, and healthy you talking. In the beginning, healthy you is the quiet one. Start paying attention, and eventually, the real you will be so loud that you'll have no choice left but to take action to shut her up.
THAT is how we were meant to live. (((HUGS)))
ATROCITIES that happen to us for several reasons.
1 - to get through it in the moment, and to live with what happened in the future.
2 - out of deep rooted shame for being in the situation
3 - out of fear of having to change
Many things you have been through are NOT OK. We stifle that voice inside us that says its NOT OK because subconsciously and sometimes consciously (for the people well more self aware than I) we don't think we deserve any better.
You do deserve better. You can start monitoring your inner voices - and weed through the ones that are sick you talking, and healthy you talking. In the beginning, healthy you is the quiet one. Start paying attention, and eventually, the real you will be so loud that you'll have no choice left but to take action to shut her up.
THAT is how we were meant to live. (((HUGS)))
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,998
One trick I have for thinking better about myself is to write down everything I did in a day, a done-list if you will. This forces me to look at the constructive things I do in a day.
I suppose if I was more spiritually advanced or from a culture that valued productivity, this wouldn't be a thing. Anyhow it can change how I look at my day.
I suppose if I was more spiritually advanced or from a culture that valued productivity, this wouldn't be a thing. Anyhow it can change how I look at my day.
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Instead of busy-ing through the day, I am stepping back, doing less, feeling more... recognizing I'm having a tough time today, giving myself a beautiful balance of laughter, fun, quietness and connecting with healthy people.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
There are podcasts called Codependency No More (if I recall right). They interview some BRILLIANT people (counselors, seasoned Alanon veterans, doctors, psychologists etc) , and wiping out negative self talk is a huge focus in several of them. I really recommend these. Also the book - Conquering Codependency and Shame tackles the subject a lot. Both helped me so much....
I did't even realize the level of negativity I had towards myself, and the insanely high expectations I had of myself until I started reading that book. Like....if anything I thought I was self absorbed and egotistical and selfish. Negative self worth, poor self esteem, and lack of value of myself are never things I thought I had going on - even remotely - until that book and those podcasts.
Once we recognize that voice, it gets easier and easier to argue it, then squash it!
I did't even realize the level of negativity I had towards myself, and the insanely high expectations I had of myself until I started reading that book. Like....if anything I thought I was self absorbed and egotistical and selfish. Negative self worth, poor self esteem, and lack of value of myself are never things I thought I had going on - even remotely - until that book and those podcasts.
Once we recognize that voice, it gets easier and easier to argue it, then squash it!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 229
Originally Posted by Mango blast
Thank you, firebolt for these words....
Sometimes I weep sometimes I am so angry for allowing myself to be treated this way. But I guess we have to move forward and treat ourselves kindly.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Oregon Coast
Posts: 168
I relate to the idea of two voices in our heads, the sick voice and the healthy voice. My new thing is, I am practicing voicing my healthy voice OUT LOUD. When sick voice is dwelling on XABF, I let healthy voice say OUT LOUD , come on Sweetheart, let’s focus on something else. Let’s go get a Starbucks and enjoy our freedom and peace! It brings me joy to do this!
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Hopeful - you just download a podcast app I like podcast addict (Go figure..*snicker*)..
There are SO MANY brilliant podcasts! Free info to listen the day away to. Books, stories, interviews, and the shining light of the Codependency No More interviews.
When you get to the one that talks about Codependency Schemas....oh boy....the kid in me that wanted to be a psychologist went crazy reading more!
There are SO MANY brilliant podcasts! Free info to listen the day away to. Books, stories, interviews, and the shining light of the Codependency No More interviews.
When you get to the one that talks about Codependency Schemas....oh boy....the kid in me that wanted to be a psychologist went crazy reading more!
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