Owl79

Hi everyone,
I've just recently joined SR to help guide and support me on my sober journey, I so badly want to quit drinking for good, I am so fed up of hangovers and the many day 1 I've had.
I've had a tough year, failed marriage, health scare and money problems, the only good positive thing I have in my life is my young son, and I feel like i'm constantly failing him with my desicion to keep drinking, he is a lovely, sweet innocent soul who deserves to have the best mummy and life, but I keep putting alcohol in front of him, I hate myself for that.
I'm only 38 years old and already I look and feel like someone twice my age. I recently until this weekend had almost 2 weeks sober, I felt good! So positive and happy, I looked fresh faced and was starting to sleep well, and then once again I ruined it all. All the anxiety has returned today, I'm riddled with guilt and self hate.....
I am the only person my son has, the thought of leaving him on his own with no one makes me feel sick to the stomach.
I'm ready to turn my life around once and for all. I'm going to revamp me and my life!

Anna

Hi Owl, Welcome and I know you can do this.

Sometimes when you're doing well, as you were with two weeks sober, the disease realizes it's losing and pulls out the stops. That happened to me a few times. Maybe you can come up with something to add to your recovery program so that when you start to feel good, you keep right on moving forward.

Susiegirl

Forget the guilt - You can't change the past- its gone. Concentrate on the now and how good you're being by coming on here and not picking up the drink. Enjoy your sober cuddles with your sweet boy. You keep thinking what you have done in the past and it will eat you up X

Owl79

Hi Anna, thank you for your encouraging words. I definitely need a plan, I've been reading and researching most of the day, I'm really focused on getting sober and healthy, I feel I need an interest/hobby, apart from working and taking my son to school and his clubs I really don't do anything else... I would love to meet new friends and do something fun but I'm so shy, and get so nervous. Do you have any advice anna for a plan?

Owl79

Thanks susie, I know your right, hopefully once my hangover has gone I will be feeling more positive, tomorrow is a new day, onwards and upwards.x

Susiegirl

You're resisting ok tonight hun ? x

Owl79

I am,thanks for asking😊 it's been a long day! Lol! I managed to get some nice food shopping in, and we watched the fireworks which was lovely, just away to bath my angel and then an early night for both of us.
How are you? Did you manage to get your ironing done?x

Susiegirl

Yes did my ironing - have eaten healthy all day and have my mug of hot chocolate all out ready for when I go to bed - it will be an early night tonight as I am early shift tomorrow - as long as the fireworks will let me sleep . Good girl for keeping yourself busy X

Owl79

Awwww well done on healthy eating😊 we made our own pizzas for tea, I had a veggie pizza so kinda healthy! Hahaha!
Going to make a plan of action tomorrow after I get home from work, I might even get my butt on the crosstrainer!
Hope you sleep well susie. Night night . ☺️x

Susiegirl

You too lovely X