One day at a time...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
One day at a time...
I've been No Contact with my husband for over two weeks. Each day is hard, and getting easier.
I watched a short part of a documentary on addiction recently. It was a shock I needed. I've been living with alcoholism in my vicinity for so long, it's good to time and again get fresh looks from a distance. I'm used to being around addicts/alcoholics who are in recovery. I'm also much too used to being around my husband when he's relapsed.
I'm reminded yet again that:
This is a disease, not a choice.
Nothing I can do or say will help.
It's okay to find happiness in my own life, and VERY important that I do this for my children, including my adult children.
Not looking for validations or direct comments. It took me as long as I needed and it's one day at a time for my own recovery. I have a great support network.
I'm thankful for not needing to be anywhere other than where I am and where I have been. It was the journey I was meant to take. On it, I've found recovery from severe trauma I didn't know I had grown up with.
Life is getting better.
I watched a short part of a documentary on addiction recently. It was a shock I needed. I've been living with alcoholism in my vicinity for so long, it's good to time and again get fresh looks from a distance. I'm used to being around addicts/alcoholics who are in recovery. I'm also much too used to being around my husband when he's relapsed.
I'm reminded yet again that:
This is a disease, not a choice.
Nothing I can do or say will help.
It's okay to find happiness in my own life, and VERY important that I do this for my children, including my adult children.
Not looking for validations or direct comments. It took me as long as I needed and it's one day at a time for my own recovery. I have a great support network.
I'm thankful for not needing to be anywhere other than where I am and where I have been. It was the journey I was meant to take. On it, I've found recovery from severe trauma I didn't know I had grown up with.
Life is getting better.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Everywhere I turn I am finding new strength to carry me through when I don't think I have any. One day at a time. Life is in some ways getting easier. One thing I'm finding is that I still tend to minimize what I've been through. Posting often is helping to counter that.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 249
Your posts are inspiring to me. One day at the time indeed. I know you said that you have been without contact from him and you said you have children with him.
I question this for myself daily. Can I keep my son away from it? Is that fair? I am about to walk out tomorrow and I want to send him an email that if he wants to see his son, he could, but a part of me doesn't want that.
My son constantly asks for his dad's whereabouts and I always have to explain that daddy went for a walk, daddy is not home, etc... and I feel that during this transition, he should not see his dad, since he might just say things to him that he doesn't deserve to hear. He has already verbally abused me and called me names in front of him.
How are you handling the no-kids situation?
I question this for myself daily. Can I keep my son away from it? Is that fair? I am about to walk out tomorrow and I want to send him an email that if he wants to see his son, he could, but a part of me doesn't want that.
My son constantly asks for his dad's whereabouts and I always have to explain that daddy went for a walk, daddy is not home, etc... and I feel that during this transition, he should not see his dad, since he might just say things to him that he doesn't deserve to hear. He has already verbally abused me and called me names in front of him.
How are you handling the no-kids situation?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Prayer, taking things one day at a time, the chronic and progressive nature of the disease.
Addiction comes first for an addict. That in itself takes care of a majority of the issue. When my husband wanted to see us, I asked him to meet me at the police station for a breathalyzer test. That ended the requests.
I finally reached a point where I saw that giving my son the gift of No Contact from his dad was healthier for DS than being in the chaos.
Addiction comes first for an addict. That in itself takes care of a majority of the issue. When my husband wanted to see us, I asked him to meet me at the police station for a breathalyzer test. That ended the requests.
I finally reached a point where I saw that giving my son the gift of No Contact from his dad was healthier for DS than being in the chaos.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 8
Thank you
Thank you I have children with my alcoholic boyfriend now and was thinking I was going above and beyond by him having no contact with myself or children. I pray often and ask for strength for all of us. My children are also young and ask for there father often. But each day gets easier.
Originally Posted by keepingthefaith 
Prayer, taking things one day at a time, the chronic and progressive nature of the disease.
Addiction comes first for an addict. That in itself takes care of a majority of the issue. When my husband wanted to see us, I asked him to meet me at the police station for a breathalyzer test. That ended the requests.
I finally reached a point where I saw that giving my son the gift of No Contact from his dad was healthier for DS than being in the chaos.
Addiction comes first for an addict. That in itself takes care of a majority of the issue. When my husband wanted to see us, I asked him to meet me at the police station for a breathalyzer test. That ended the requests.
I finally reached a point where I saw that giving my son the gift of No Contact from his dad was healthier for DS than being in the chaos.
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