charlotteh371

i am a 46 year old mother of 3 and i can't seem to get my act together and just cut down or stop drinking. i am now drinking at least a bottle of wine to two a night and even more on the weekends. back in january i quit for 36 days and ever since then it has been a steady progression back to where i am now. in fact it's worse than ever. i have made stupid choices and at this point i feel like the drink is controlling me. every day i think, not today and then 4pm comes around and all i can think about is when can i have my wine to help me get through the busy evening. then one glass turns to five or to six. i used to be healthy and exercised and now i feel like my body is just barely holding it together. i feel exhausted every single day from the lack of sleep or from waking up in a sweat from the booze. i am seriously concerned about the fact that i am killing myself. i have to stop and get control again. i just don't know how. i am hoping i am not the only one who feels this way..

biminiblue

Welcome charlotteh371. And, yeah. Your story is very familiar to all of us.

You can quit. Today would be a good day. You've said it "out loud." Now back up your promise to yourself.

I feel like a completely different person after quitting. Exercise and healthy nutrition were a huge part of that. Why not plan a healthy dinner tonight, and fix it without a glass of wine. Put away or throw away the wine glasses. I threw mine away, along with all alcohol and other related paraphernalia.

Have a nice glass of sparkling Perrier with a slice of fruit. Sober dinners are the best. Usually means there will be no dishes to clean up in the morning, too. That's actually the best part.

LastDrop

Welcome to the forum!

You are not the only one who feels this way. I have felt the same way for years. I am seriously concerned about how I treated my body too and also my mind. I am pretty early on only 10 days sober but I am holding onto the hope that I can recover as long as I kick the alcohol to the curb for good.

charlotteh371

just hearing from both of you, has given me hope thank you! and yes, i want to make a dinner tonight without that glass of wine for once! i feel like everything in my life is tied to alcohol. Cooking dinner, reading a book, watching tv or a movie, let alone the social side of things. it's like i have let booze be attached to every single thing that i do aside from waking up in the morning and the day time hours (up until 4pm). i think i keep hoping that i will wake up one morning and be able to take it or leave it or to moderate..but i know inside that i just can't. one leads to many which leads to many more.

biminiblue

I know. I had to break thousands of mental associations.

You can do it.

Just tell yourself, "I don't drink." Then back that up with every action and decision you make going forward. It's uncomfortable at first, but so worth it..so you've decided. Dinner tonight without alcohol. It will be weird, and you'll be edgy. Edgy won't hurt you and that part will get better quickly.

charlotteh371

yes edgy won't kill me like this path i'm on will..i am going to do it thank you!! day by day. today will be a good day, i can feel it

biminiblue

The anxiety will lessen with sober time, so don't let that little voice tell you that, "I had a bad/sad/good day, a glass will fix it (or improve it.)"

It doesn't.

SoberVictor

Charlotte, welcome here.
Your story is very familiar.
You have done the right thing by reaching out.
You have taken your first very important step and I reckon you probably know deep down that youve been getting closer to this point for a long time now.
The light has been switched on......get through this evening without the wine and tomorrow will be day 2
(I'm on day 4)
Victor

Frank14

Yes, I went through the same thing. It's not simply "not drinking" that will get you to change. It's what you alluded to--a total lifestyle change. Come up with a plan (you can see the ideas on the stickies) which includes exercise, diet, positive activities, etc., Oh yeah, and most importantly, not drinking

ChloeRose63

I quit drinking wine and started exercising. My choice now is whether to go biking or get on the elliptical...drinking is not a choice anymore. I feel as if I am back on track. I set goals. I feel hopeful again. I want to greet each day with a welcoming attitude and a positive outlook. Drinking wine made me lazy and depressed and I only I could break my habit of destruction. My mind and body were feeling old and useless. I had to take control and change because I was starting to hate my behavior. I began to love myself again and treat myself to a better way of life. So, I hope to come to a decision to stop drinking and start treating yourself better.