Sick with fear
DaisyD
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 2
Sick with fear
After just receiving my second drink driving arrest, which resulted in my second time in lockup, I am finally ready to admit that I am an alcoholic. Last time I was arrested, I tried to get help. Went to AA and found it so horrible I told myself I wasn't a true alcoholic. I wasn't like them. All the local ones were filled with middle age to elderly men who spoke of downing bottles of straight spirits and then starting on the turps. I wasn't doing that. I'm a two bottles of wine a day lady. I tried to stop drinking but that experience stopped me continuing with treatment. I tried to manage my drinking, a breathalyser in my car helped. Once it was taken out I slowly escalated again. 6 months later, I'm here again. DUI number 2, my husband ready to leave me, one daughter trying to understand and talk to me, and one who won't talk to me at all. I've officially hit bottom. I am going to an alcohol counsellor today and hope that is the best path to help my commence my recovery. The shame, the fear, the withdrawal. It's all so overwhelming
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Welcome, Daisy!
I'm sorry for your situation. I'm glad you are safe and no one was hurt.
We have lots of ideas about different recovery programs. Take a look and hopefully you will find something that works for you:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
I'm sorry for your situation. I'm glad you are safe and no one was hurt.
We have lots of ideas about different recovery programs. Take a look and hopefully you will find something that works for you:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Samantha
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
I know that feeling of fear.
Here too, AA has very few women and mostly 60-80 year old people, mostly men.
I am under 30 and only drank 2-4 days a month so did I drink as much as anyone else there? Probably not , but I still have a problem. I am an alcoholic and I needed support.
Go and share your feelings and thoughts and you will get support.
You clearly have issues with alcohol if you are getting DUI’s and the first step is admitting it.
Here too, AA has very few women and mostly 60-80 year old people, mostly men.
I am under 30 and only drank 2-4 days a month so did I drink as much as anyone else there? Probably not , but I still have a problem. I am an alcoholic and I needed support.
Go and share your feelings and thoughts and you will get support.
You clearly have issues with alcohol if you are getting DUI’s and the first step is admitting it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
There's also 'newcomer AA meetings'.. When I was court ordered to attend,my 1st day consited of mostly older, everyday there type's.. I was just getting my 'slip signed'..after a couple of meetings; I opened up and let it ALL out! Around week 9 one of the older lady's asked me to attend the Fri night meeting for 'newcomers'. She explained to me that these were early 20-30's people(I'm 40'ish LOL),but she said she "thinks they'll open up if I'm there(I'm a salesman by trade)..So, I went and I still go when I can.. Check around your area for one..I've also had 2dui's. Not so close together,but obviously the 2nd one sucks worse than the 1st.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
welcome, Daisy,
sounds like you're well acquainted with unmanageability and efforts to control were not succesful. being at this point and having a dep down understanding of that will stand you in good stead.
sounds like you're well acquainted with unmanageability and efforts to control were not succesful. being at this point and having a dep down understanding of that will stand you in good stead.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 1,060
Welcome DaisyD,
Many of us have similar experiences with AA or any other sobriety program until we really wanted it. You can get sober and stay sober if you find a sobriety plan and do the work it takes. The road to sobriety isn't the easiest path but it's well worth the effort. You'll enjoy life with your friends and family so much more.
I use AA as my program and I too was resistant at first until I was ready. I went into the rooms with the willingness to listen and learn from those that have sobriety. One thing you can count on when you walk into an AA room is that everyone has been where you are, and thats at their bottom. Some dug deeper and others got it sooner but everyone hit a point that they were DONE.
Good luck DaisyD, I pray you find a program that relieves you of your drinking and you live the glorious life you are meant to have.
Many of us have similar experiences with AA or any other sobriety program until we really wanted it. You can get sober and stay sober if you find a sobriety plan and do the work it takes. The road to sobriety isn't the easiest path but it's well worth the effort. You'll enjoy life with your friends and family so much more.
I use AA as my program and I too was resistant at first until I was ready. I went into the rooms with the willingness to listen and learn from those that have sobriety. One thing you can count on when you walk into an AA room is that everyone has been where you are, and thats at their bottom. Some dug deeper and others got it sooner but everyone hit a point that they were DONE.
Good luck DaisyD, I pray you find a program that relieves you of your drinking and you live the glorious life you are meant to have.
DaisyD
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 2
Thank u everyone who has taken the time to respond to me. I am on day 4 have a sober calendar on my phone to keep me on track. My 2nd dui was whilst sitting in a stationary car so I'm hoping the punishment won't b too severe but am scared out of my mind. I then got thrown a curve ball at work today and told I was being transferred to run a different store. My current one is close to home so I thought - heh at least I can get to and from work whilst I get my life on track and now I have to work out how to get to a completely different store that isn't on a train line. Really threw me and all I want is a drink. I'm not going to but it's eating at me like a cancer.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 967
Maybe try reading the Big Book? That book always helps me during times of fear. Also possibly start working the steps as outlined in the Big Book even if you don’t have a sponsor yet. Working the steps will help calm you, it’s just a matter of doing them.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Northwest U.S.
Posts: 778
Welcome Daisy. Lots of us have gotten sober without AA. I am not anti-AA by any stretch, I just didn't think it matched my personality and chose to utilize other resources. I'd suggest that you start by drafting up a recovery plan. Here is a link to a great thread on recovery plans: https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?).
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Hi Daisy
I know it's hard to think about right now with a huge cloud over your head but whatever is goign to happen you're massively better off facing it sober
Tons of support here too - you're not alone. ave you checked out The October support thread yet?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...pt-2-a-18.html (Class of October 2017 Support Thread pt. 2)
Its not compulsory by any means but if you want to join in, all you need to do to join is post in it.
D
I know it's hard to think about right now with a huge cloud over your head but whatever is goign to happen you're massively better off facing it sober
Tons of support here too - you're not alone. ave you checked out The October support thread yet?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...pt-2-a-18.html (Class of October 2017 Support Thread pt. 2)
Its not compulsory by any means but if you want to join in, all you need to do to join is post in it.
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
Welcome Daisy ,
I,m sorry for your predicament , we all had official rock bottoms in one way or another . When we realised we were powerless over alcohol we decided to do something about it . I know you feel terrible but you will start to feel better and can build a happy solid life without drinking . By reading your post you sound like you want this .
We are all behind you .
I,m sorry for your predicament , we all had official rock bottoms in one way or another . When we realised we were powerless over alcohol we decided to do something about it . I know you feel terrible but you will start to feel better and can build a happy solid life without drinking . By reading your post you sound like you want this .
We are all behind you .
O-n K-a-r A-r-r-e-s-t
Join Date: May 2016
Location: US
Posts: 600
Daisy I just got a DUI also (2wks ago yesterday). I am in a complete spin such as you. Also very worried about losing my job. I have signed up for the mandatory classes and will soon be getting an ignition interlock on my car for nearly a year. I had such high hopes for 2018 and now it seems down the drain. Right now I'm scared, hurt, feel stupid and humiliated. In short, I feel your pain.
I'm going along doing the things I have to do and doing my best with every thing else. In jail, I thought about never drinking again and the day I got out I came here and stated I will never drink again. It is a firm commitment and what everything for the rest of my life will branch out from, it will guide my future decisions. It has to because I was hit by the truth that if I don't, my future truly holds prison or death. So I am trying to build a plan of how I will handle situations of stress, boredom, etc instead of drinking. I am in the early stages like you. Dee mentioned the October thread. I am in that group and don't know what I would do without it. Good people, supportive people - people like you and me. Stop by and check it out, join us if you want.
I'm going along doing the things I have to do and doing my best with every thing else. In jail, I thought about never drinking again and the day I got out I came here and stated I will never drink again. It is a firm commitment and what everything for the rest of my life will branch out from, it will guide my future decisions. It has to because I was hit by the truth that if I don't, my future truly holds prison or death. So I am trying to build a plan of how I will handle situations of stress, boredom, etc instead of drinking. I am in the early stages like you. Dee mentioned the October thread. I am in that group and don't know what I would do without it. Good people, supportive people - people like you and me. Stop by and check it out, join us if you want.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
