kodi

Please tell your experience:

1) type of therapist / counselor e.g addiction, family, trauma
2)how many times a week/month
3)what part of your process has it helped with the most and least
4)how long before sessions started making a difference to your life - I ask because it is said that it may take years not weeks or months to really get the full effect since you have to maintain the work achieved not just find the cause of the problem and quit.

All replied appreciated.

BAW81

1) I see a Marriage & Family Therapist
2)Once a week
3)What has helped me the most was finding someone I trust who can "sit" with me and my situation and help me avoid any guilt by talking about it which was something I couldn't find with family and most friends. I enjoy knowing I have a space to go and someone to support me every week. I sometimes write down things as they happen so I can remember to talk with her about them during my session. Truly opening up and feeling safe to open up has helped me look at the monster in it's ugly eye, it's also given me a sounding board to help me thoughtfully work through a go-forward plan.
4)how much time is SO very personal because it depends on how far in your life you need to go back....think of it like a horrible knot and it takes time (weeks, months, maybe years) to unravel and find the center so that you can move forward.

I encourage you to meet with multiple therapists and choose the right one for you because its a relationship and you need to feel safe and WANT to share with that person. A good therapist will allow you to have a consult and even share with you if and how they can help.

Best of luck to you!

Nola0250

1. clinical psychologist
2. usually about 2x per month
3. it has helped everything. Most valuable to me has been the help in seeing when my AH's behavior has been manipulative (which is obvious now, but surprising that I didn't recognize it as such on my own at first), and in understanding why I seem to be susceptible to some forms of manipulation
4. Sessions made a huge difference immediately. I'm not sure how long I'll go but I'm sure I'll keep on for at least the next 6 months.

SparkleKitty

1. I see a therapist
2. Every two weeks, currently
3. All of it. I started once a week way back in 2003 when my first marriage imploded due to my codependency issues and utter lack of self-worth from my Family of Origin issues and being an Adult Child of an Alcoholic. I stopped after 5 years, visited her once when my father passed in early 2010, and returned for every two week visits in the summer of 2014 to finally dig into my compulsive eating and bulimia, though that encompasses a lot of control and family issues as well.
4. Both times I've started there was immediate improvement. Wehn I started I was in crisis mode. In some ways, therapy in crisis mode is easier. Everything is super-present and important and immediate (though waiting between appointments is hard). Crisis mode lasted about five months. Non-crisis therapy is harder work, I really have to be willing to dig into stuff, and to resist holding things back because I'm scared to finally deal with them. I'm still a work in progress. I go tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to it.
4.

Ladybird579

Never had therapy, counselling etc ever. I live in the UK and it is very expensive with long waiting lists for those who manage to get on the list with consulations usually in the back end of nowhere at times public transport doesn't run. I did try to get it in the beginning but gave up in the end as it was clear they had more worthy cases once I got an initial assessment cos they thought I was fine. I got better without it and the support on this forum...that's been about it really.

LifeRecovery

Oh boy sorry for the novel.
I have seen three therapists in my tenure. One a general therapist (5+ years), one a family therapist (about a year), and the third specializes in addiction including eating disorders (13+ years I have seen her in group and individual at different times). She also has special training in body centered therapy and EMDR the first of which was crucial for me in healing.

I have gotten some level of support since 2000. Sometimes every once a month, sometimes more than once a week.

I started out in therapy to "fix," what was wrong with me, and though I did not realize it at the time to deal with the crisis that I always seemed to find myself in. I started to work on myself with an Eating Disorder, but in that process met, loved and married a problem drinker.

I used to believe that if I had done everything "right," I would not have fallen into that relationship, or frankly not had an eating disorder . Now I believe I had to have that relationship to get the healing that I needed. I had to decide that I never wanted to feel like that again. I needed that to get help and support.

I thought I would be "cured," in a matter of months. I have found that though I am no longer in crisis, I continue to go. I work in a healthcare setting and I am better at my job and with people I love because I have support for myself. Dar Williams has a lovely song about therapy called"What Do You Hear In These Sounds," that states "But oh how I loved everybody else When I finally got to talk so much about myself....." This is how I feel too.

Overall it has all helped, even when REALLY, REALLY painful in the moment. I do type of body centered work called Hakomi that I initially HATED.....but I knew it was moving stuff for me. Even when I was gorked out for a stretch at a time. I finally had to admit not to long ago how grateful I was to Hakomi.....because part of what I hated about it was that I had to learn how to feel. What I hated initially, was were I needed the biggest growth.

Stuff has moved for me at different times and paces. Initially I needed a place of support. At some times I needed to be challenged. For awhile I was moving a huge piece every month, I would move it, struggle for a bit with it, clear it and a new one would come again. Just recently I moved a piece that I have been chipping away at for 18 months and it invigorated me. It made all the pieces come into place and truly for the first time in my life my eating stuff feels like it can finally settle down.

I have also found healing in non-talk therapy like body work (I do something called Rolfing). I did some Equine Assisted work. I did some Mindfullness Based Stress Reduction Work. I have attended Al-Anon regularly etc.

My own caution is that part of what I needed to learn on this journey was that there is a difference between discomfort and something not working. That was subtle and took me a long time. I also needed to learn that sometimes I had to feel bad, really bad, to feel better. I had to stop being afraid of my own emotions. In part I had to learn to trust, myself, my therapist and the recovery process. That did not happen overnight.

Therapy is truly the best gift I have ever given to myself (and as a novel to you all). It has helped me blossom into my best self.

I hope that you can find the same level of support, love, gratitude and most importantly yourself on this journey. For me it has been a priceless contribution.

hopeful4

Family therapist who is familiar with addiction, the affects it has on families (you would not believe how many therapists don't know much about addiction), and with PTSD and how to treat it.

I wanted someone who would not baby me, and who would tell it like it is.

I went weekly at first, then bi-weekly, now just go as needed. I would say it took a month before we really got past just getting to know each other.

It has been the best money I have ever spent, and it did change my life.

viola71

Please tell your experience:

1) family with specialty in trauma
2)once a week or once every two weeks
3)connecting the patterns in my life in all my important relationships
4)probably 6months to a year to really get into some of my past issues and how all of that affects the present still working 6 years later

OpheliaKatz

1) type of therapist / counselor e.g addiction, family, trauma
I have seen various psychologists and counselors before for short term discussions about past trauma. I am currently seeing a psychologist for stress related to my relationship with the addict, but I am thinking about switching, because initially in sessions we were trying to find ways to help him instead of me. I have made contact with Naranon and been to one meeting and I have made contact with domestic violence services, and been to a few group therapy sessions. Just adding: I have previously seen a couples counselor and that was totally useless because I was attending the sessions with the addict and I was frequently gas-lighted in the sessions.

I have seen a GP and a psychiatrist who have told me that I have PTSD from the circumstances of being in a relationship with an addict. I was advised to get therapy more frequently, and that as I don't have any underlying mental health issues, they did not give me anti-depressants.

2) how many times a week/month
Once or twice a month for the personal psychologist. Once a week (unless it's cancelled) for the domestic violence therapy. In the past, for the couples counseling, it was twice a month.

3) what part of your process has it helped with the most and least
I think the psychologist was good because it gave me a place to vent. However, the domestic violence therapist was very very good -- this helped me stop blaming myself for every thing that went wrong in the relationship. I think the couples counseling was actually harmful, because it kept me in a toxic situation and I felt that because my addict was also in the session, I was not allowed to talk about how I really felt about his behavior towards me (because he was drugging because of trauma and we were afraid of triggering him). I felt that the couples counseling was a way for the addict to manipulate the relationship. Later, after the end of the relationship, the counselors I spoke to at the domestic violence service said that couples counseling is the worst thing that you could do if you are in an abusive situation (because abusers manipulate); I also spoke to some counselors at a drug abuse counseling service for family of addicts, and they said the same thing: that addicts in denial are manipulative and any sort of counseling to address underlying trauma or relationship issues is useless unless the addict is in recovery for drug abuse.

4) how long before sessions started making a difference to your life - I ask because it is said that it may take years not weeks or months to really get the full effect since you have to maintain the work achieved not just find the cause of the problem and quit.

I think I am still sorting this out. It's been 4 years since I started seeing a psychologist on a regular basis, and I think I'm just starting to get to the root of the problem. I will stress, however, that you should not see the same person for 4 years. If they know you too well, it gets a bit too personal and they lose their objectivity... and you might actually start to feel uncomfortable seeing them.

I think I know more about myself now than I have before. I could have used this insight when I was younger and in the market for a relationship.... Now I think I know better how to have one (maybe), I don't have the energy for it or the time.

OpheliaKatz

I think I need to make an appointment to see doctor this week. My mental health is becoming unmanageable. I called a mental health hotline and they said it sounded like I had depression (but not before the person on the phone said, "I recognize your voice, I think you called before").

TropicalWinter

1) My therapist is a MSW and LCSW (licensed clinical social worker) who has a private practice in counseling. He has extensive experience working with addiction issues.
2) I go once a week, and he is also available via email and text throughout the week
3) It has completely changed my life and helped with everything.
4) I felt it immediately, in my first session. He looked me straight in the eyes and said "You are safe now." I still tear up thinking about that moment. He's the first person I've felt completely safe with, ever. I didn't have any idea what feeling safe and trusting someone really felt like before.

OpheliaKatz

Where can I find a clone of this guy?

TropicalWinter

I will add that, while I did feel the benefit immediately, I've been working with my therapist for going on 5 years now, and I still have a lot of work to do. A lot of my time with him was when I was in crisis/survival mode. I am still in limbo in my life, and it's so helpful to have a supportive sounding board (who doesn't hesitate for a second to call me on my BS, either).

NYCDoglvr

I see a cognitive therapist once per week and it helps a great deal. But Alanon is what made the difference in my codependency because it directly addresses the problem.