Mango blast

I could really use some good news. Anything good..... stories of life after leaving an alcoholic and/or abusive relationship...

have something delicious to eat, did something fun today?

rae145

Hey keeping the faith
I was married for 32 yrs and then divorced. It was hard but its possible and manageable. It was hard as far as wanting to go back, learning he replaced me so quickly, not knowing what to do with myself. I went to therapy (still go), read lots and lots of stories on this site, started eating healthy, going to water aerobics, took some art classes, etc.. and guess what? My life is so much more than manageable, its pretty frickin good.
I dont have to stay super busy anymore either. Im comfortable with myself and with doing my own thing even if that is being alone.
I moved 5 hours away and have met many people through work, water aerobics, al anon, etc.. im in a small city but i rarely go to town without seeing someone i know. Maybe this is a new disposition for me bc ive come to the conclusion that i isolated much when i was with the alcoholic.hope this helps you

Seren

I took care of two cats for a friend of mine who was out-of-town for a wedding! And I learned today how to make "plarn"--plastic bag yarn--so that I can begin to crochet bedrolls for homeless people in my city

Mango blast

Played card games, watching Troll Hunters on Netflix, swiped some frosting off cake and totally enjoyed that. Lots of sadness today. Finding moments of fun, joy, hope.

Some unhealthy thoughts of wanting to go back. Moving forward, staying connected to my support system.... including these forums.

Westexy

Hi Keeping - I think my backstory is documented on SR, but since leaving my now XAH back in January after throwing some things into a bag while the police waited, my life has become so beautiful, or maybe it's just that I have time to appreciate how beautiful it has always been. Sure I have been stressed, sad and depressed as I worked through the divorce process but I enjoy most of my life so much now. I am refinancing my home on my own in order to buy out my ex. I hang out with friends and family on a regular basis. My kid is happy and safe - able to have friends over. Our home is quiet and safe. We are rested and happy. We go on vacations together. We seem to have extra money without XAH spending around $2k a month on I don't know what. No one criticizes us. Such simple things but so nice. I'm loving the fall weather in my area and looking forward to the holidays without a drunk in my life. It will be so different this year. Wishing the best for you Keeping.

Ileana

My Grandbaby took her first step today! What could be more exciting than a little one starting on her own journey.

SparkleKitty

Had a great matinee performance today and then the whole cast went out for a tapas dinner together. Lovely people, delicious food, and at one point, I looked around and thought about how back when I was with XABF, I would have been the one to bow out of dinner and let them all go out without me so I could rush home to mitigate whatever disaster was waiting for me.

Life has improved immeasurably since I let go of all the toxicity I was so convinced I needed and deserved, and I like it best when I realize it in the small, every day moments.

Mango blast

Reading these again and again. Thank you!

hopeful4

This past Saturday, I witnessed my XAH being yelled at by his now wife. He looks miserable. I can only look back and think, I AM FREE. Sure, we still have kids together and that has some stresses. But as I returned to my peaceful home after saying NOTHING, and not being involved, I was so thankful for my peace, my home, my children, my animals.

There is life after divorce, I promise. It's not all roses, but for myself, life is a million times better.

I took a big nap on my clean sheets with my kitty cat all snuggled up beside me. It was bliss......

Bekindalways

Hi Keepingfaith,

The story of my Qualifier is a relatively happy one. We met in college and he was one of the most brilliant students the professors had ever had scholarships up to his ears.

He dropped out of college to work and got into Meth. Decades later I still remember the pain of leaving him. I was pretty sure he was going to die. He spiraled all the way down to armed robbery and dealing drugs. He wound up in jail for 3 years and got sober. Last I heard he had been sober for 20 years. Has a family and a business.

I went years where everyday my goal was simply to not call him and not take my life. Yep it was that ugly.
I think leaving him was the one time I truly actively loved someone not the pretty gooey hallmark love but life changing love that saved both of us. This might be arrogant but I like to think that my walking away helped save his life. At the time I just thought I was saving my own.

Since then I've learned a second language, taught all over the world, been a stay at home Aunt with my nephews and cared for my parents.

Stay close to us. Take care of yourself. It's folks like you why I come here as I remember how hard this is.

firebolt

I spent a quiet, peaceful weekend at home. A friend came over, we caught up and had coffee, I wore fuzzy slippers. I am dog sitting and played fetch and snuggled with the dogs. I read some in my book, talked to my family on the phone, worked on my bike, and sewed my halloween costume....all in peace and quiet, in a home that smells clean and actually feels like home.

None of those things would have happened in a HAPPY, peaceful and relaxing manner if I was living with an alcoholic. (((HUGS))) It gets easier! If you can maintain NC, 6 months from now, you will be a different person...and a defensive warrior of your PEACE!

FireSprite

I had a fantastic weekend.

My DIY mani/pedi came out awesome.
I had the BEST chocolate cheesecake this weekend.
I had a great night out on Saturday, dancing until my legs hurt.
I had the single greatest meditation/yoga session of my life on Saturday afternoon. No joke, it moved me to tears.
DD13 will not stop growing!! She's only half an inch shorter than me!
DD also found out she'll be spending 4 weeks of her summer taking classes at a college out of state - what a phenomenal opportunity!
I've made a couple of good plans for this week already - acupuncture, foot massage, date night.
I had a great phone convo with my BFF this morning. I really miss her.
I am putting together a care package to send her...shhhhhh..... I love creating surprises for people I love.
I picked up a few stocking stuffers over the weekend - love when things just fall into my path.
We made plans for Christmas with my family which had me stressing but worked out for the best - I'm still in shock that I convinced everyone to skip buying for the adults & just focus on the kids this year - SCORE!

FireSprite

I never ASK for these moments, but boy howdy I sure do saturate in the validation of them when they arrive like a gift from my HP!!

hopeful4

LOL Yes Ma'am! I will admit I feel the EXACT same way!

I am so glad your weekend turned out so good! That all sounds like great stuff!!!! I have a massage gift certificate I got for mothers day, I think I may book the appointment this week! It's an hour long, I have never been before.

FireSprite

DO IT! Massages are my favorite way to spoil myself, although that first one can be tough if you're sensitive.

My weekend had no chance - I had already decided I was not accepting anything less than Awesome Fun. And hey, it didn't hurt my feelings at all when a super-cute guy in his late-ish 20's tried hitting on me (I turn 44 in a couple of months) .....

hopeful4

I am a little scared to go get a massage to tell you the truth. To expose all that skin, and I am not the firm, lean machine I wish I was! It's not like me to be shy, but in this case, I sure am!

I too am in my early 40's, and I would be super flattered if some young man hit on me LOL, good for you FireSprite, you hot momma!

firebolt

Oh, Hopeful, you're gonna LOVE it!

hopeful4

I hope so! It's just showing all that skin...yikes......

firebolt

They usually do a great job of keeping you fairly covered...

and....

it gets easier every time you go....

and...

it doesn't matter what they think....

and....

you are thinking worse things about your skin than they are!!

hopeful4

I am sure you are right! Thank you friend!