anxiousrock

I was doing really well for a couple of months but then it all fell through.
I’m having a hard time staying sober and I really want to.
I feel depressed and anxious from blacking out. I’m sad because I failed. Same old same old.

LastDrop

Welcome back Anarock,
I know the feeling all too well. I absolutely hate the feeling of awakening the morning after a blackout. It turned into my own personal hell.

You have not failed though. You want to stay sober thats a big part. Get back up on the horse. You can do this.

anxiousrock

Thank you. I have been trying so hard and it always comes back to this. I feel horrible. This is why I wanted to stop.

ChloeRose63

Sometimes it takes alot of Day 1's to eventually get to the point where you have had enough. Don't get down on yourself. There will be a final Day 1 where you have really made the committment to stop drinking for good. Keep trying and making better recovery plans. You can do this!

anxiousrock

I’ve had so many day ones. I honestly hate this and I don’t want to keep starting over. I want to be better. It’s so depressing to know this disease is beating me.

LastDrop

It always comes back to this for me too. I kept convincing myself that I can drink and get away with it but in my heart I know the truth.

If I stay sober then I wont have to try and get sober again. But it is difficult since I have not been sober the majority of my life. At this point I just gotta try to make it to bed tonight sober.

I can deal with tomorrow when it gets here.

anxiousrock

That’s exactly how I feel right now.
I hate blackouts. I hate knowing I messed up.

Dee74

Hi Anarock

what exactly were you doing to stay sober? did you have a plan?

D

anxiousrock

At first I was going to AA 3 times and week and then I stopped going. Relapsed close after.
I know I need to keep going but I’ve been so busy.