Day 1
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 7
Day 1
For the last 18 years (I'm 33), alcohol has always been a big part of my life. Right from the beginning I always drank more than most and have been a binge drinker. I wouldn't say I'm alcohol dependent, but I definately have an alcohol problem. For whatever reason, once I've had 3, I have to have 10. I just put that down to "having a good time".
I've had my fair share of scrapes, but nothing that would change my life until recently. When I binge drink and "blackout", I've started getting verbally abusive towards my wife. I don't remember any of what I say, but the things she says I've said to her have horrified me.
She has threatened to leave me and take our 3 month old son. I grew up with an abusive and alcoholic mother and I don't want my son to go through what I went through.
I'm making a decision to cut alcohol out of my life so I can be the best husband and father I can be.
I've had my fair share of scrapes, but nothing that would change my life until recently. When I binge drink and "blackout", I've started getting verbally abusive towards my wife. I don't remember any of what I say, but the things she says I've said to her have horrified me.
She has threatened to leave me and take our 3 month old son. I grew up with an abusive and alcoholic mother and I don't want my son to go through what I went through.
I'm making a decision to cut alcohol out of my life so I can be the best husband and father I can be.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,714
Welcome to SR. You have come to the right place for understanding and support. The time is now to quit drinking and to save your life. Alcoholism is progressive and only gets worse. You are young. You have a future that deserves to be treasured. Don't let alcohol ruin you and the lives of those around you. It will happen if you continue to drink. Glad you are taking the first step. Now is the time to make a recovery plan.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 7
Thanks for the messages. A recovery plan is a very good idea. I think the biggest problem for me will be our social life. Every event with either family or friends involves meeting at 1 pub or another. My wife enjoys a drink, but unlike me she can control it and it doesn't send her crazy from time to time.
Any suggestions for dealing with these social situations?
Any suggestions for dealing with these social situations?
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,714
You need to have a serious talk with your wife about how important it is for you to stop drinking. She needs to understand how alcohol effects you and that your system is not like other social drinkers. You chemically cannot have alcohol in your body. Maybe she could attend an Al-Anon meeting to understand alcoholism and it's effects. You need her support especially early on.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: England
Posts: 645
Originally Posted by Dave84 
Thanks for the messages. A recovery plan is a very good idea. I think the biggest problem for me will be our social life. Every event with either family or friends involves meeting at 1 pub or another. My wife enjoys a drink, but unlike me she can control it and it doesn't send her crazy from time to time.
Any suggestions for dealing with these social situations?
Any suggestions for dealing with these social situations?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by decchemist
Do you feel you can share the fact that you want to give up drinking alcohol with family and friends, Dave, or is that a bit too difficult at the moment? NB. No judgement here just a question.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: England
Posts: 645
Originally Posted by Dave84
No problem 😊. Yes I think I could. I wouldn't tell them it's because I can't control it and get abusive, but I could say I want to loose some weight/get healthy/train for a run. Something like that.
There are many people on SR who will tell you that you should not put yourself in any social situation where you may not be able to resist drinking, especially in early days of sobriety. They will tell you it is too risky to take the chance. However, you have to weigh up that risk for yourself, in my opinion, then be responsible for the outcome (hopefully a good outcome).
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 7
So far so good thanks. Onto the 4th day and survived 3 nights which involved 1 bbq, 1 night at home and 1 evening meal out. Filled the fridge with diet coke to replace the habit of in from work, get changed, open beer. Swapped the beer for diet coke.
I did get a couple of questions last night from people wondering why I didn't have a pint and just said I wanted to loose a bit of weight. The responses were fairly positive!
Biggest change I've felt so far has been how much more alert I am, particularly first thing in the morning. Before I'd need at least 3 cups and now 1 cup and I'm good to go.
Long may it continue 👍
I did get a couple of questions last night from people wondering why I didn't have a pint and just said I wanted to loose a bit of weight. The responses were fairly positive!
Biggest change I've felt so far has been how much more alert I am, particularly first thing in the morning. Before I'd need at least 3 cups and now 1 cup and I'm good to go.
Long may it continue 👍
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