When there's no way to avoid being alone with AV...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 7
When there's no way to avoid being alone with AV...
Sorry to jump right in asking for help without being a regular...I think I posted an intro a while ago. I'm 67 days without a drink. I have a very stressful day tomorrow that I have to handle all alone (hubby gone until Sunday, two small kids to wrangle to multiple activities when I'm physically recovering from a major injury, and somehow having to find time to prep a work project after all activities, while home alone with the kids).
AV has been telling me all day that I should have a drink when the kids are in bed tomorrow. My brain keeps fantasizing about sitting down after a crazy day and taking that first sip. I went to a meeting tonight and for that 90 minutes was feeling renewed resolve, thinking I can get through it, reminding myself how relieved I'll be Sunday morning to have made it through...but now I've been home two hours and the thoughts are back.
What do I do to distract myself? How do I get through a 24 hours with my AV and no way to get to a meeting and no husband to spend time with instead of obsessing?
AV has been telling me all day that I should have a drink when the kids are in bed tomorrow. My brain keeps fantasizing about sitting down after a crazy day and taking that first sip. I went to a meeting tonight and for that 90 minutes was feeling renewed resolve, thinking I can get through it, reminding myself how relieved I'll be Sunday morning to have made it through...but now I've been home two hours and the thoughts are back.
What do I do to distract myself? How do I get through a 24 hours with my AV and no way to get to a meeting and no husband to spend time with instead of obsessing?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Singapore
Posts: 190
I'm quite new to this too, Fog (2 months today, actually), so I'm not sure I can help in the same way that some others on here can.
I find that my AV runs riot when I'm hungry or dehydrated. Just on a practical level make sure that you head that off. I'm prepared to take the hit of a few extra calories to avert a bit of a crisis when I know I'm at risk.
The other thing I would point to is your name. You clearly enjoy being clear headed. All of the stuff you need to do will be much more attainable with a clear head. Just imagine how proud and strong you will feel to get through it.
Come back on Sunday and tell me how well you did.
I find that my AV runs riot when I'm hungry or dehydrated. Just on a practical level make sure that you head that off. I'm prepared to take the hit of a few extra calories to avert a bit of a crisis when I know I'm at risk.
The other thing I would point to is your name. You clearly enjoy being clear headed. All of the stuff you need to do will be much more attainable with a clear head. Just imagine how proud and strong you will feel to get through it.
Come back on Sunday and tell me how well you did.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Singapore
Posts: 190
Are you in the Class of August 2017 group? You should join.
Another thing I should have mentioned was that when I'm sailing close to a relapse, I just come on here and read and read and read. It really helps.
Another thing I should have mentioned was that when I'm sailing close to a relapse, I just come on here and read and read and read. It really helps.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
67 days is fantastic! Do NOT give in to your AV, as it's obvious that it's working on you big time. You are absolutely right that you will feel incredible on Sunday, once you move through the stress without picking up a drink. You can do this!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by Downthepath 
I'm quite new to this too, Fog (2 months today, actually), so I'm not sure I can help in the same way that some others on here can.
I find that my AV runs riot when I'm hungry or dehydrated. Just on a practical level make sure that you head that off. I'm prepared to take the hit of a few extra calories to avert a bit of a crisis when I know I'm at risk.
The other thing I would point to is your name. You clearly enjoy being clear headed. All of the stuff you need to do will be much more attainable with a clear head. Just imagine how proud and strong you will feel to get through it.
Come back on Sunday and tell me how well you did.
I find that my AV runs riot when I'm hungry or dehydrated. Just on a practical level make sure that you head that off. I'm prepared to take the hit of a few extra calories to avert a bit of a crisis when I know I'm at risk.
The other thing I would point to is your name. You clearly enjoy being clear headed. All of the stuff you need to do will be much more attainable with a clear head. Just imagine how proud and strong you will feel to get through it.
Come back on Sunday and tell me how well you did.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by Downthepath
Are you in the Class of August 2017 group? You should join.
Another thing I should have mentioned was that when I'm sailing close to a relapse, I just come on here and read and read and read. It really helps.
Another thing I should have mentioned was that when I'm sailing close to a relapse, I just come on here and read and read and read. It really helps.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Hi outofleeryfog 
I think sooner or later we all have to be alone with our AV. Noone can keep busy 24 hours a day.
Urge surfing helped me
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...e-surfing.html (urge surfing)
It also helped for me to remember that the AV has no arms or legs - it needs my cooperation to get what it wants.
If I withhold that cooperation, it's beaten.
It may throw a tantrum, but like any toddler if you wait it out it will tire itself out and go back to sleep
D
I think sooner or later we all have to be alone with our AV. Noone can keep busy 24 hours a day.
Urge surfing helped me
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...e-surfing.html (urge surfing)
It also helped for me to remember that the AV has no arms or legs - it needs my cooperation to get what it wants.
If I withhold that cooperation, it's beaten.
It may throw a tantrum, but like any toddler if you wait it out it will tire itself out and go back to sleep
D
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
When I got sober the AV hadn't been invented. Instead I was suffering from alcholism. I worked all 12 steps at a fairly good clip and recovered. I continue to live the program and stay recovered. The drink problem has been removed and stayed away. No visits from the A V, and never has drinking come up as a possible course of action.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
When I can't ge to a meeting there are still things I can utilise...
1) Speaker recordings (this is where I get mine from ...) https://www.recoveryaudio.org/
2) Calling the numbers of people I know from AA - my sponsor, or other ladies and asking how their day has been, and then chatting through the crazy AV thoughts to regain some perspective
3) Actually type out the AV thought itself (on a post on here is good) "My AV keeps telling me a drink is a good idea because ...." Once we see the craziness in black and white we re more able to really appreciate the insanity of it. (Funny how all sorts of craziness can seem almost believeable when its curled up warm and snuggled in our heads). And if we can't see through this AV thinking ourselves, the lovely folk on here will soon put us right.
4) Try an online meeting (never managed to get that to work myself, but plenty of people do use them).
5) If the meetings you mention are AA and you have started on your step work, re-read your Step 1 stuff.
Well done for grabbing the sushi.
BB
1) Speaker recordings (this is where I get mine from ...) https://www.recoveryaudio.org/
2) Calling the numbers of people I know from AA - my sponsor, or other ladies and asking how their day has been, and then chatting through the crazy AV thoughts to regain some perspective
3) Actually type out the AV thought itself (on a post on here is good) "My AV keeps telling me a drink is a good idea because ...." Once we see the craziness in black and white we re more able to really appreciate the insanity of it. (Funny how all sorts of craziness can seem almost believeable when its curled up warm and snuggled in our heads). And if we can't see through this AV thinking ourselves, the lovely folk on here will soon put us right.
4) Try an online meeting (never managed to get that to work myself, but plenty of people do use them).
5) If the meetings you mention are AA and you have started on your step work, re-read your Step 1 stuff.
Well done for grabbing the sushi.
BB
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