picturebigger

i don't think anyone in my personal life fully understands exactly what i keep trying to say. i'm telling (screaming to) them that i am chemically dependent. they just don't get it! blows my mind! my only guess is because i'm just as normal right now at 8pm as i was at 8am this morning, now after blowing through practically a case of beer. i don't get sloppy drunk. i just trash my liver for medication. i am an ALCOHOLIC. they think i can "just quit" because i appear so normal on the outside, and because they're so used to it because i've been doing it so long. here i am, still drinking every single day. on the outside, it's no big deal. on the inside it's life threatening.

i don't want to turn this into a novel so i'll stop here. i'm really just venting. you all are the only ones who could possibly understand, so i'm blasting it out here. thanks for listening.

soberandhonest

I spent a lot of years drinking based on some twisted rationale that it was okay because nobody was telling me that I have a problem with alcohol. The thing is, nobody was telling me because they didn't want to have that confrontation, they felt it wasn't really their business, they didn't care, they also had a problem, or they really didn't know. I had a problem - a huge problem. Ultimately, only I was going to fix it and I had to do it for myself. It was nice to have a significant other that gave me a big push to get help and it was great to have support of close friends and family, but it's my life and it was up to me to do something about it. I hope you take the steps necessary to get moving forward with a recovery plan. Don't wait for others; it's your life.

picturebigger

Thanks. My family seems to think/suggest/encourage I just "go back to what you used to do", start drinking at 5-6pm after work like "normal". Yeah OK sure family, gee why didn't I think of that before (sarcasm). Do none of you (family) think I wouldn't have already done that if I could?? Twilight zone.. They still think I don't I have a problem, because they only remember when I didn't have a problem (which clearly was a problem, just in its early stages).

I keep screaming I have to quit drinking, completely. And they tell me to "just cut back" to "how you used to drink" when it was "under control". They just don't understand. They aren't trying to sabotage me. They just don't seem to listen when I tell them NO I CAN'T. ONE SIP IS TOO MUCH.

Anna

You know what is right for you. You know that you can't drink alcohol, ever. It's not important for your family to embrace that. As long as you know in your heart, and focus on your goal, you'll be fine.

Dee74

Hey picturebigger

No one else really needs to understand - only we have to.

If you're not getting support from family and friends, why not use the support here instead, or in places like AA (or SMART or Lifering)

People not understanding is annoying but it's no reason to keep drinking.

D

Canuckleman45

You want to blast away here then blast away. I get it and I'm sure most of the people here do.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back Picture. Yes, most people don't understand our addiction, and likely never will. We don't understand it ourselves really.

They are right though that you could quit if you wanted to. There are ways to safely detox at any point if you chose to do so. And you can make that choice any time you want.

Meraviglioso

It si SO frustrating, I completely understand you. I have experienced it myself, people being unsupportive, not understanding, not seeing the problems that I could clearly see. It made me feel like people didn't care.

I'll tell you an interesting story. Well, interesting might be a big word, but you know what I mean. I remember several years ago I was working with a therapist. She was trying to connect with me and offer some support and tips from her own experience to help me. She proceeded to tell me how she was addicted to sweets. She told me of a time just a few weeks prior to this session where she had locked herself in the bathroom with a 1 kilo bar of chocolate and ate the whole thing. I thought in my head "1 kilo of chocolate??!! Eww! How do you even eat that much chocolate?! And anyway, whatever, it is not like eating sweets is as bad as alcohol!" What a crazy and insensitive thing for me to think- and me! an alcoholic! someone who suffers from addiction! Even I had a hard time wrapping my mind around such a compulsion when I suffer from a compulsion myself. But because sweets and chocolate are not my thing, I just had a hard time going there at that time. My point is, it is very difficult for someone who does not suffer themselves to understand what we are going through. I have tired my best to explain it to others but I have come to realise that those who do not suffer just will never get it. I do, now, have great sympathy for anyone suffering from any addiction- even ones I do not suffer form myself, but that comes from me knowing what addiction feels like. If someone has never experienced any addiction of sorts I get that it is hard for them to know what to do or say.

WE get it though and we are here for you. Maybe some face to face support might be good for you too.

August252015

One thing I have learned, with an alcoholic mother and a non-alcoholic father, is that it is sometimes hard to accept or "get why" family doesn't understand our alcoholism - and that as people say, there are also "as many types of alcoholism as there are alcoholics." My mom and I have very different types and sometimes it frustrates me that she doesn't understand mine. I have to let that go.

All that is to say that we have to take care of ourselves - for ourselves and regardless of what anyone else thinks. Focusing on others' opinions, input etc is dangerous and not constructive for our sobriety and growth in recovery.

Have you thoughts about support IRL and outside yourself like AA? It has been a lifesaver for me - in fact, I have been texting this am with a program friend about supporting ourselves and surrounding ourselves with those who DO get it.

FreeOwl

There's a sickness in society. Western culture glorifies alcohol and weaves it so thoroughly through everything that a large proportion of the populace finds excess entirely 'normal'. If you're not getting sloppy, arrested, out of control, homeless.... then you're 'fine'.

It's really sad how pervasively acceptable heavy use of alcohol is. Not only acceptable but in many circles - expected.

Keep to what YOU know. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

Sobriety is a much better place to be - trust me!

tomsteve

nobody has to "get it" or understand except you.
nobody has to do anything about it except you.

i hope youre not using that as an excuse to not do something about it.

Mizzuno

Maybe it's not for your family to understand and support? You gotta do you. Show them a better version of yourself by getting sober and living a life that is productive and healthy.

I am sure when they see the 4.0 version they will come around to an understanding.

I battled for years with this same exact dynamic.

I just keep moving forward.
We are here to support you.

PeacefulWater12

Do what is right for you and your body. You don't have to explain or justify quitting to other people.

nez

This was me.

This was them.

Even if they did, it wouldn't have changed anything. I needed to understand why I needed to quit.

This was why.

PurpleKnight

SR is in your corner Picturebigger!!