Notices

Is there a single thing that was so huge for you

Old 10-20-2017, 04:29 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 304
Is there a single thing that was so huge for you

As I said on a previous thread my main focus for sobriety is my daughter.
Whilst I know that everyone gains so, so much once sober, I was wondering if there was one single thing that was so huge for your motivation to get and stay sober ?
C
Cuckoo is offline  
Old 10-20-2017, 04:34 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 260
My wife and kids. I was sobering up from a booze fuelled weekend and the 3 of them said they were concerned about my drinking and too make a long story short I'm on my 11th day of sobriety. I know 11 days isn't a lot in the entire picture, but it a start. And i don't ever want to go back to the dark place i was in
Canuckleman45 is offline  
Old 10-20-2017, 04:56 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: North Dakota
Posts: 5
Hello!

Me personally i don't have kids, i like to think im still "young" i think (24). But for me my nephew was a game changer. Making me actively think "Maybe i should stick around and stop drinking so he has an uncle". I am with you, in the respect that family is just everything, My final say is this, if you can't personally say your child will be safe without you here, why drink more? get off the bottle for them, not you for them. I wish you the best.
Kinglegion is offline  
Old 10-20-2017, 04:59 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
FreeOwl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
it was the very real potential of losing my children that was the biggest external motivator for sobriety.

it was the shift in mentality from "I HAVE to quit drinking" to "I WANT to build a happy, abundant, SOBER life" that made the most difference in getting there.

FreeOwl is offline  
Old 10-20-2017, 05:01 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: North Dakota
Posts: 5
I know 11 days isn't a lot in the entire picture, but it a start. And i don't ever want to go back to the dark place i was in.]

11 days? That's amazing, we are cheering for you, keep it up.
Kinglegion is offline  
Old 10-20-2017, 05:05 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
PeacefulWater12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: uk
Posts: 2,428
No single thing for me. (I don't have kids).

I just got utterly fed up with the drinking lifestyle. The exhausting horrible cycle. I accepted I couldn't drink without horrible consequences.

I think it was only after I had been quit for quite a while that I could see just how awful it was.
PeacefulWater12 is offline  
Old 10-20-2017, 05:05 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Awake61's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Portland maine
Posts: 1,330
Thumbs up

My grandchildren and children -but lately I'm staying on the path for me. This way I can be present for them and myself. Will not return to that drooling, lump on the floor existence.
Awake61 is offline  
Old 10-20-2017, 08:04 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I am along the same lines as freeowl. I went from "I have to quit drinking" to "I WANT to quit drinking". That's when it all started to change.
thomas11 is offline  
Old 10-20-2017, 08:18 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
I knew I needed to stop the vicious cycle my life had become. Living in ground hog day was driving me insane. I thought about taking my life at one point. Then I got a special present from a judge. Mandatory AA meetings. I'm not a religious person so,had never thought AA was for me and I don't really 'work' the steps nor attend that often anymore,but I let the steps guide the way I live my life now. It also opened up a spiritual side of my brain/thinking that had been hidden away for far too long.
DontRemember is offline  
Old 10-20-2017, 08:58 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
MetalRose
 
MetalRose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Louisiana, USA
Posts: 61
  1. To be a better mother, wife, and person.
  2. To be healthy
  3. To keep memories of good times had, rather than losing them in the bottle.
MetalRose is offline  
Old 10-20-2017, 09:21 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Berrybean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I just got to the stage where:

1) I hated the person I had become so much that I didn't see how I could carry on.

2) I had lost all my integrity

3) I finally realised that I COULD NOT modify my drinking and that the only way to stop the cycle I was stuck in was to stop drinking.

4) Once I finally stopped, I realised that it was my only strategy and I'd need to learn how to do this living sober malarky, along with all the other alcoholics in recovery.

We stop digging when we find our own rock bottom. Our rock bottoms may well be different, but the journey to sober living has similarities for all of us.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
Berrybean is offline  
Old 10-20-2017, 09:24 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 605
I think you have to be a little selfish so that you can be less selfish. For me my alcoholism was all about me being selfish, but, ironically, to get better I had to focus on myself. I got sober for my kids, my wife, and my grandson, but I really got sober for me. So I could be healthy, so I could be there in the future, so I could be happy.

I know that's a lot of I's, but if you don't take care of you there will be no I.

That's the way I see it anyway.
ljc267 is offline  
Old 10-20-2017, 09:28 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 605
Originally Posted by Berrybean View Post
I just got to the stage where:

1) I hated the person I had become so much that I didn't see how I could carry on.

2) I had lost all my integrity

3) I finally realised that I COULD NOT modify my drinking and that the only way to stop the cycle I was stuck in was to stop drinking.

4) Once I finally stopped, I realised that it was my only strategy and I'd need to learn how to do this living sober malarky, along with all the other alcoholics in recovery.

We stop digging when we find our own rock bottom. Our rock bottoms may well be different, but the journey to sober living has similarities for all of us.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
That is so true. I quit drinking when I couldn't take it anymore. I exercised every option to continue drinking. Cutting back, skipping days, you know the drill. Nothing worked, until I had only one option.
ljc267 is offline  
Old 10-20-2017, 09:58 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,770
Loving mornings once again!
SoberLeigh is offline  
Old 10-20-2017, 10:28 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
2/2016
 
HTown's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 582
My young wife died of cancer. The alcohol was not helping me grieve. It was such a dead-end. The guilt and shame were oppressive to me. I knew I could not continue. Something had to change. Best thing I ever did-quit drinking.
HTown is offline  
Old 10-20-2017, 10:41 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 6,831
No one defining moment/thing for me. More the accumulation of misery, realizing that I could no longer go even one day between drinking and that my favorite breakfast food was beer. Those things, and how I was so selfishly turning away from my family all combined to finally, finally, tip the scales!

BTW. I love and cherish sobriety now. It's not at all the sentence I once thought. My alcoholic perspective misled me for so long, but no longer. True freedom.

It's there for you as well Cuckoo. I'm no more deserving than you or anyone else. You can turn the page on this and change what the future holds. Guaranteed.
Mark1014 is offline  
Old 10-20-2017, 11:08 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
Frank14's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 319
The moment hit me when I was having lunch with some people from work. A colleague was astounded that someone she knew from high school had just died from alcohol. They were Facebook friends, and she was following his declining situation for quite a while.

It really hits home that people actually do die from this poison. You hear about it on this site periodically, but it just seems like it couldn't possibly happen to you. I just think of the shame and embarrassment I'd put my children and wife through if I died from this. I simply couldn't live with myself.
Frank14 is offline  
Old 10-20-2017, 11:30 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 304
Fantastic, uplifting and some sad posts.
Thank you everyone for taking the time to share your most personal and intimate thoughts and feelings, I truly appreciate it.
We all have powerful reasons it would seem and maybe can't make the change until the real clarity of our situation hits us like a sledge hammer.
C
Cuckoo is offline  
Old 10-20-2017, 03:12 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Cuckoo View Post
Whilst I know that everyone gains so, so much once sober, I was wondering if there was one single thing that was so huge for your motivation to get and stay sober ?
C
self hatred- it was get help getting sober or kill myself.
which was kik started by my ( by then ex) fiance kikin me to the curb the morning after my last(to date) blackout drunk.
tomsteve is offline  
Old 10-20-2017, 03:39 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
Gabe1980's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Constantly feeling ashamed. Ashamed to be my husbands wife and ashamed how I had been living for so long. And fear, its exhausting being afraid all the time.
Gabe1980 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:47 AM.