honeypig

I think a stumbling block for many of us (certainly for me) is that very phrase--"but he/she is TRYING..." It allows us to keep from confronting our own crap while making believe that the A is really truly right on the edge of choosing recovery, even while all the signs point the other way. It's the A doing juuuuust enough to keep the status quo, and us going along w/it b/c it's easier than facing the alternative.

Well, this AM I was skimming the "Newcomers" section of the forum and came across a wonderful post. Before I link to it, I want to set the background w/this: On page 58 of AA's Big Book, the following invitation is offered: "If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it--then you are ready to take certain steps."

OK, so now go to the 3rd post in this thread, and tell me if the A in your life has ever done anything like this in order to stay sober!

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-im-drunk.html (I'm drunk)

Now is THAT "going to any length" or what? Kudos to shauninspain and may he have the most awesome recovery EVER!

Let me add this one, simply b/c it is so inspiring and beautiful to read. Enjoy, my friends:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ng-better.html (People tried to tell me sobriety would just keep getting better.)

Seren

Yeah, I enjoy Shaun's and FreeOwl's writing. Two with a lot to share for those who are ready to listen.

shauna71

Thank you, Honeypig for sharing such a great Sunday morning read!

August252015

Good points. My parents went to Al-Anon (eventually, for me - my mom is an alcoholic and my dad is not, so I have learned a little about her AA journey and his Al Anon one since I stopped drinking)....and really had to work to focus on how THEY dealt with my alcoholism, because my quitting was only up to me.

Personally, I cringe when anyone says "I'll try..." - IMO and IME, the absolute mindset has to be DO. Perhaps that sounds harsh to some- many say "relapse is a part of recovery" to which I adamantly disagree (as Dee says, "nope- it is part of ADDICTION" para).....but FOR ME, quitting one time only has been the key, with a non-negotiable commitment to a life in recovery that I work hard and diligently to both protect and grow.

maia1234

Hp,
Thanks for sharing, I will remember this post.

I also go and read the newcomers and alcoholism posts. It reminds of the individual daily struggles that we all go through, not just the codies. Some of the men and women on these forums are amazing people, and they do anything to stay sober.

It gives me hope that everyone, if you work hard enough, can find serenity, in one form or another. Happy Sunday!!

Maudcat

Do or do not.
There is no try.
-Yoda-

honeypig

I don't know, Maud, I'm wondering if shauninspain didn't originally come up w/that!

dandylion

What a story! Thanks, honeypig, for pointing it out.....that one is one for the books....

OpheliaKatz

Thank you for this post. It just reminds me that my AH Was never trying. He only said he was, but he wasn't. I wish he had tried before he become homeless (if in fact he was/is, which I doubt).

Maudcat

Too true, HP!
That was the best story about one person’s determination to stay sober.

dandylion

I wonder what would happen if a co-dependent did the same thing when they were craving to contact their alcoholic.....?

honeypig

I'm thinking it would work equally as well, would certainly perform the same function of buying time to reconsider the action one is on the verge of taking...

Maybe we should start recommending that newcomers here stock up on ketchup and Rice Krispies in case of emergency!

Ariesagain

My eyes! My eyes!

Great post. It’s going to take a while for the visual to fade, though!

kodi

As the great codie I was - being covered in ketchup and rice crispies i would've taken the next available step to run after the alcoholic being a phone call or covering the car seats with plastic "not to make a mess"so I could drive around looking for a drunk person. at least the ketchup and rice crispies doesn't have alcohol in so they " safe" . the mind boggles even when it was your own behaviour.

tomsteve

this reminds me of one line from the big book of AA
Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Sasha1972

I knew someone once with a compulsive gambling problem who froze her credit cards in a block of ice in the freezer. If she was fighting the urge to go online or out to the casino, she would have to wait for all the ice to melt before she could access the funds for gambling, by which time the urge would have passed or she would have found some other way to fight it.

(Of course she had to melt it sometimes for major purchases - but there's rarely anything you need your credit cards for RIGHT NOW).

honeypig

Bumping this up for those who may not have been here the first time around.