Dave13

Today (my 4th day) my mind has been going crazy. Anxiety, panic attacks, and worst of all I began having intense feelings of hopelessness and despair. These feelings come and go. I'll be fine one minute and then feel like I'm losing my mind a minute later. I'm working my way through it, but if anyone has any stories to share of similar experiences (if someone could say "hey, that happened to me, too", I would feel much better) or just kind words to help me through the day I would greatly appreciate it. I'll be attending my first AA meeting tomorrow.

Thanks,
Dave

Doug

Happened to me, more than once too.

One thing that helps, and can be real hard to do, is to try to be with somebody. So your not alone. It's worse alone.

The meeting you go to tomorrow, try and reach out to a couple people for phone numbers, so you can talk live at times like these, to someone who knows.

You'll find at the meeting, and here, lots of people know how you feel, and lots of people have made it through. You can too.

Stick around here in the meantime, keep posting, keep going just 1 minute at a time if thats what it takes.

It doesn't feel like it, but you will be ok.

Phinneas

Dave-- YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Sorry for shouting, but it is so important that you know that. I, too, have been feeling that overwhelming despair and mental anguish. I have been praying nonstop, but what brings me down most is self pity for all that I have done to destroy my life. But, if nothing else, today I am clean and sober. I recommend praying and getting to a meeting. (I'm glad you're going tomorrow. Can you do 90 meetings in 90 days?) I am proud of you for posting you feeings. Keep reaching out. It WILL get better, one day at a time.

Take care,

jojo

Dave13

Thanks, Doug and Jojoz. I'm SO glad to hear that it isn't just me. I guess you know how these panic-anxiety things go, you always think it's something wrong with you. I KNOW that this is from the alcohol, but for some reason it still hurts like hell.

But, thanks. I'm glad to hear I'm not alone.

Chy

This is about the time when the phase of the emotional rollercoaster as I call it kicks in. Believe it or not it's normal. Scary, frightening, and despairing it is, but as mentioned, you will get through it and be okay. Try to be around people, read the Big Book, find solice in the words.

Once you go to your meeting you will meet people just like you, who understand, who will be your main means of support. Let us know how it goes k? *hugs*

Just wait till the sugar cravings kick in, good thing it's Halloween!

Dave13

Thanks, Chy. It's definetly a rollercoaster. I've got it under control for the moment. Chatting with a friend on AIM. Just told her for the first time that I was going to start AA and she's being very supportive. Luckily in the city I live we have meetings pretty much all day and night and there's even a daily one in biking distance from the house.

As long as I keep busy I'm okay. It's when I stop doing something that those thoughts, memories, and feelings creep up. But I'm so glad to have SR to help me through these rough times. And I know that drinking might make those feelings go away, but they WILL come back.

- Dave

Richie

Hi Dave.I was on my fourth day clean when I found this forum.I was going through all the feelings you have described,It's been almost two months now and I can testify that it does get better.Hang in there!I know it's hard but you're worth it!God bless you in your struggle.

Dave13

Thanks for the support, Richie. I'm feeling much better reading everyones' posts.

ted

HEY DAVE,HANG IN THERE.
IT WILL GET BETTER,MY FIRST WEEK WAS PURE HELL.
STAY STRONG,LET SOMEONE KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.
WE'RE HERE FOR YOU---I CAN'T,WE CAN!!!
..........GOD BLESS...............ted

1Marty

I go through that anxiety / depressive thing a lot too. Thats why I drank! It was an easy way to feel good. The bad news is that those feelings still come p in sobriety. But the good news is that as time goes on, things smooth out a bit. Also we have lots of tools and people to depend on in recover for support. We'll get through this bro. Stay strong and give it some time.

icecream pete

oops posted twice, see next one!!

icecream pete

You and me both Dave cant decide wether i am happy or sad ,calm or irritable, mostly a mix of them all. Also on day four but having been here about six weeks ago I know that it does not last and the other side is much better. Keep on keeping on, it will be worth it. See you on day 5!

Pete

PS Dont intend going through it 3 times!!!

JaySee

Hi Dave

Yes I do remember those feelings and still get them sometimes - but I now have the tools/knowledge to do something about them. I can see them coming, or I notice them immediately and can work through them. Meetings really help me. I do as many as I can (6+/week)

Also, as has been suggested, get some phone numbers and get to know the people at the meetings. I was quite distant at first - big mistake - but now I mix socially with other AAs and that for me is a really REALLY big help. I always used to mix with drunks, but now I mix with drunks who aren't drinking.

much love
JC

lulu70

Yep--Been there, done that. Still doing it sometimes. However, like others have said, I keep myself surrounded with people who are like me and know what I am going through. Like the people here at SR! Hang in there. It does get better.

Hugs--