Falling for an addict......
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Join Date: May 2017
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Falling for an addict......
I have known the guy I like for a few months, we consider each other as friends, but i am finding myself starting to fall for him. I work close to where he lives, he comes to visit me and we just talk..He's an artist and draws pictures of me, he drew a picture for me with a sweet message on it calling me his b.girl and ending it xoxox. I took it as a flirty sign, he got the same t-shirt as me and said he thought of me when he got it... he seems to care about me, if im having a bad day or im upset he always asks whats wrong, if guys are around he stays around me or will make this scowling face at them. I work in public service in a not so great area, if anyone is bothering me he tells me to come get him or if they ask me out, he says to tell them he is my boyfriend, or he will tell them to beat it. We got onto the conversation of dating, not rushing into anything or rushing things between us and he said he would be with me, but hes worried about ruining my life, he has a not so great past...i told him i have a past too, everyone does and he seemed to be ok with that.
he makes a point to come see me, at least everyday, i get so nervous and flustered, he lights up when he sees me( i believe) i think he likes me but im not sure.He is a Heroin addict, he is on a program where he gets it administered through the hospital.There is a trial program we have in canada where heroin addicts(not all) can get there heroin administered through the clinic, it's for those who can't take methadone or suboxne,it doesn't work for them. He is able to maintain and function as normal as he can on a certain dosage, rather then being dope sick. He uses at his house too tho. I had gotten feedback before from people basically getting mad at how i could fall for someone like him....I just have, I care about him. I think it is mutual,.
He is a pretty genuine person and everyone who knows him has nothing but good things to say about him. He is a great artist, he has been in documentaires and has been in the papers for the murals he paints about the opioïde crisis we have in canada. He is really a great person.He knows how i feel about him, i made it clear. He mentioned thinking about being with me before and said he would but was worried about him ruining my life, he didn't want to rush to start anything and i was ok with that. He asked me to go on a date, I said yes. He avoided me a few days later I saw him and he was smiles and talkative, I told him I'd still like to get together, he said it sounded good but again avoids me, I'm taking it as he isn't into it.....I'm not completely at the point of walking away, I really care for him and I'm not sure what to think.....
he makes a point to come see me, at least everyday, i get so nervous and flustered, he lights up when he sees me( i believe) i think he likes me but im not sure.He is a Heroin addict, he is on a program where he gets it administered through the hospital.There is a trial program we have in canada where heroin addicts(not all) can get there heroin administered through the clinic, it's for those who can't take methadone or suboxne,it doesn't work for them. He is able to maintain and function as normal as he can on a certain dosage, rather then being dope sick. He uses at his house too tho. I had gotten feedback before from people basically getting mad at how i could fall for someone like him....I just have, I care about him. I think it is mutual,.
He is a pretty genuine person and everyone who knows him has nothing but good things to say about him. He is a great artist, he has been in documentaires and has been in the papers for the murals he paints about the opioïde crisis we have in canada. He is really a great person.He knows how i feel about him, i made it clear. He mentioned thinking about being with me before and said he would but was worried about him ruining my life, he didn't want to rush to start anything and i was ok with that. He asked me to go on a date, I said yes. He avoided me a few days later I saw him and he was smiles and talkative, I told him I'd still like to get together, he said it sounded good but again avoids me, I'm taking it as he isn't into it.....I'm not completely at the point of walking away, I really care for him and I'm not sure what to think.....
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My friend, now would be a good time to educate yourself about addiction.
With your friend, his heroin habit will always come first (until and unless he enters a lifetime recovery program, which he has given you no indication that he intends to do). He may *seem* genuine, but he is using a substance daily to alter his consciousness, his ability to feel and deal with emotions, and upon which he will only become more and more dependent over time.
If he is worried about "ruining your life" it is likely with good reason.
You deserve a present and attentive partner whose first love isn't an opioid.
With your friend, his heroin habit will always come first (until and unless he enters a lifetime recovery program, which he has given you no indication that he intends to do). He may *seem* genuine, but he is using a substance daily to alter his consciousness, his ability to feel and deal with emotions, and upon which he will only become more and more dependent over time.
If he is worried about "ruining your life" it is likely with good reason.
You deserve a present and attentive partner whose first love isn't an opioid.
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Join Date: May 2017
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Originally Posted by SparkleKitty 
My friend, now would be a good time to educate yourself about addiction.
With your friend, his heroin habit will always come first (until and unless he enters a lifetime recovery program, which he has given you no indication that he intends to do). He may *seem* genuine, but he is using a substance daily to alter his consciousness, his ability to feel and deal with emotions, and upon which he will only become more and more dependent over time.
If he is worried about "ruining your life" it is likely with good reason.
You deserve a present and attentive partner whose first love isn't an opioid.
With your friend, his heroin habit will always come first (until and unless he enters a lifetime recovery program, which he has given you no indication that he intends to do). He may *seem* genuine, but he is using a substance daily to alter his consciousness, his ability to feel and deal with emotions, and upon which he will only become more and more dependent over time.
If he is worried about "ruining your life" it is likely with good reason.
You deserve a present and attentive partner whose first love isn't an opioid.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
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since he is using drugs over and above what is given to him at the clinic, it's quite likely he was too busy getting high. his drugs will always come first. ALWAYS. he is taking heroin EVERY day.
however, take the drugs out of it for a moment, and he's still acting sketchy, unreliable, flaking out.
when people show you who they are, believe them.
however, take the drugs out of it for a moment, and he's still acting sketchy, unreliable, flaking out.
when people show you who they are, believe them.
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Join Date: Apr 2017
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By coming to this site and posting what you have, you may have potentially given yourself the gift I for one wish I had had - foresight. Many of us are sadly experts at hindsight and if you read the posts on here, you will find many terribly sad and heartbreaking reasons why.
You're figuratively being hit over the head with red flags and plain facts, both through his words and actions, please take them very, very seriously and think about the enormous risk you would be taking for yourself and your future were you to continue to engage with him.
I understand it's upsetting and confusing now, but in the long run, you deserve a life without the pain, destruction and heartbreak any sort of relationship with this man will inevitably bring. Please spend some time reading the threads on here to understand the potential future you could be letting yourself in for by pursuing.
Sending you lots of hugs. x
You're figuratively being hit over the head with red flags and plain facts, both through his words and actions, please take them very, very seriously and think about the enormous risk you would be taking for yourself and your future were you to continue to engage with him.
I understand it's upsetting and confusing now, but in the long run, you deserve a life without the pain, destruction and heartbreak any sort of relationship with this man will inevitably bring. Please spend some time reading the threads on here to understand the potential future you could be letting yourself in for by pursuing.
Sending you lots of hugs. x
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Join Date: Jan 2016
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He avoids you because he is getting high or in the process of getting drugs to get high.
There is never a reason more complex than that, but if you start looking for “reasons” or worse yet, blaming yourself for his actions...welcome to the nightmare.
Run. Please, please run. You can’t fix him and you will lose yourself trying.
I ‘m so sorry.
Sending you a hug.
There is never a reason more complex than that, but if you start looking for “reasons” or worse yet, blaming yourself for his actions...welcome to the nightmare.
Run. Please, please run. You can’t fix him and you will lose yourself trying.
I ‘m so sorry.
Sending you a hug.
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I know, I have just been confused as to why he is avoiding me now....it was him who asked to hang out, then avoids me...It upsets me
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“He mentioned thinking about being with me before and said he would but was worried about him ruining my life,”
When people tell you who they are, believe them.
“He is really a great person.”
Maybe yes, maybe no. Many addicts adapt by being the person others want to see because they get less hassle and more enabling that way. Chances are, he doesn’t know who he really is, let alone you.
Please protect yourself, yes?
When people tell you who they are, believe them.
“He is really a great person.”
Maybe yes, maybe no. Many addicts adapt by being the person others want to see because they get less hassle and more enabling that way. Chances are, he doesn’t know who he really is, let alone you.
Please protect yourself, yes?
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I was just confused and like some have stated, thought I had done something.....it seemed like every time I reached out showing how I felt, weather it was leaving a note or trying to make a plan he would avoid me after. It's to the point now where I will barley see him, I'm not sure if he's with another girl, one who uses or if he's trying to stay away...we started off as friends, I feel like I've even lost that...he was very genuine with me....
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Originally Posted by Sarahas
I know, I have just been confused as to why he is avoiding me now....it was him who asked to hang out, then avoids me...It upsets me
Maybe they like to talk about what they want, but they know they can't have what they want because they are married to their addiction. The addiction will always be one giant controlling spouse that you can never be able to compete with.
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Originally Posted by Girl1101
That's exactly what the addict I almost dated did. He set up a first date then avoided me..... apparently to go smoke pot and drink with his friends and coworkers. He talked big, a lot of promises, but when it came to meeting up? Nope gotta go take a 10 hour long hit.
Maybe they like to talk about what they want, but they know they can't have what they want because they are married to their addiction. The addiction will always be one giant controlling spouse that you can never be able to compete with.
Maybe they like to talk about what they want, but they know they can't have what they want because they are married to their addiction. The addiction will always be one giant controlling spouse that you can never be able to compete with.
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Originally Posted by Sarahas
Thank you, I also thought it may have been something he wants to do but the thought of leaving his comfort zone is to much, I live out of the city( we were going to do movies at my house) and it's a lot of pressure if anything got physical....he would most likely have to use at my place, he maybe embarrassed...I do have first aid and naloxone training but still.
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he was very genuine with me....
he SEEMED genuine to you. but in truth, you don't know this guy at all. he comes in, he goes away. he gets high. just because someone shows us some attention, does not mean they have truly good intentions, or that they mean everything they say.
actions not words.
he SEEMED genuine to you. but in truth, you don't know this guy at all. he comes in, he goes away. he gets high. just because someone shows us some attention, does not mean they have truly good intentions, or that they mean everything they say.
actions not words.
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Join Date: Jun 2017
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Sarahas
He's a heroine addict even if he is getting his heroine from a clinic.
You also said he uses at his house too. I am guessing that means other street drugs in the mix.
You living out of the city is a problem for him. Heroine has a short half life so he needs to use relatively often. I am guessing something like every 4 to 6 hours, Traveling far from his clinic & dealers would be a problem.
Also its common for male heroine addicts to suffer from ED. Not sure its the case with your addict but it is common. Could be a reason he is avoiding a date type thing at your house.
I think its important you thoroughly educate yourself concerning heroine & addiction before considering any type of relationship (dating or even just friends) with this guy. Addiction is a very destructive disease. It can not only destroy him but you as well.
Thanks
He's a heroine addict even if he is getting his heroine from a clinic.
You also said he uses at his house too. I am guessing that means other street drugs in the mix.
You living out of the city is a problem for him. Heroine has a short half life so he needs to use relatively often. I am guessing something like every 4 to 6 hours, Traveling far from his clinic & dealers would be a problem.
Also its common for male heroine addicts to suffer from ED. Not sure its the case with your addict but it is common. Could be a reason he is avoiding a date type thing at your house.
I think its important you thoroughly educate yourself concerning heroine & addiction before considering any type of relationship (dating or even just friends) with this guy. Addiction is a very destructive disease. It can not only destroy him but you as well.
Thanks
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“I do have first aid and naloxone training but still.”
Please try to take a step back here. Planning to revive a dying addict is NOT part of any kind of healthy first date.
You’re infatuated with a facade. The great thing about crushes is that they fade. Smile, tell him to have a good day and let it go, yes? It will pass and you will be glad you avoided this candy-coated nightmare.
Sending you a hug.
Please try to take a step back here. Planning to revive a dying addict is NOT part of any kind of healthy first date.
You’re infatuated with a facade. The great thing about crushes is that they fade. Smile, tell him to have a good day and let it go, yes? It will pass and you will be glad you avoided this candy-coated nightmare.
Sending you a hug.
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Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 33
Originally Posted by Ariesagain
“I do have first aid and naloxone training but still.”
Please try to take a step back here. Planning to revive a dying addict is NOT part of any kind of healthy first date.
You’re infatuated with a facade. The great thing about crushes is that they fade. Smile, tell him to have a good day and let it go, yes? It will pass and you will be glad you avoided this candy-coated nightmare.
Sending you a hug.
Please try to take a step back here. Planning to revive a dying addict is NOT part of any kind of healthy first date.
You’re infatuated with a facade. The great thing about crushes is that they fade. Smile, tell him to have a good day and let it go, yes? It will pass and you will be glad you avoided this candy-coated nightmare.
Sending you a hug.
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 16
Don't. Please. there is nothing simple about being with an addict. you will never come first. you will never have peace. they mess with your head in ways you cant begin to imagine. save yourself the heartache. im.sure hes a great guy and people love him. my husband is a great guy, till hes not. people can only hide who they really are from you for so long. they can be charming, which becomes manipulative down the road. they can be so sincere it will break your heart. again, its really manipulation. the one thing an addict can love is their DOC. Please listen to those who have gone before you and save yourself the crazy making drama of loving an addict. i wish i had known.
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