Took a Dirty Cake
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 3
Dirty cake
First time using this.
A guy shared in a meeting in LA. He said he's been getting past a relapse from two years ago, but never told his meeting/home group. So he allowed them to give him a "birthday" cake three years in even though his recovery date had changed. His guilt made him admit finally...but only after he took dirty cakes for 2 or 3 years.
A guy shared in a meeting in LA. He said he's been getting past a relapse from two years ago, but never told his meeting/home group. So he allowed them to give him a "birthday" cake three years in even though his recovery date had changed. His guilt made him admit finally...but only after he took dirty cakes for 2 or 3 years.
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 35
It seems like he feared losing the group's approval.
Approval seeking is an interesting kettle of fish and often goes hand in hand with addiction from what I've observed..
the husband who hides his drinking from his wife because he fears losing her approval. Or more deeply perhaps her loss of approval signifies withholding of love.....
....a punishment. A psychological weapon often used by parents (unconsciously) that often does have the desired effect of controlling (manipulating) the child but with the consequence of leaving the child traumatized. Unsure. Ill at ease. He now knows deeply that the love and acceptance that he craves from the people he should be able to trust the most is.....conditional. If he behaves in a certain.
way.
If he's a good boy. He'll never distinguish behavior from his own worth as a human being. His own worth as a human being and a valuable person will always now depend on the approval of his parents and thus others.
The conclusion: if they withdraw their approval, I must therefor be a bad person (a person who is not worthy of their approval or love)
The boy will carry this deficiency into his adult life.....
.....and he will attempt to compensate for it.
Instead of arriving at self actualization he will perpetuate a cycle of compensation.
Approval seeking is an interesting kettle of fish and often goes hand in hand with addiction from what I've observed..
the husband who hides his drinking from his wife because he fears losing her approval. Or more deeply perhaps her loss of approval signifies withholding of love.....
....a punishment. A psychological weapon often used by parents (unconsciously) that often does have the desired effect of controlling (manipulating) the child but with the consequence of leaving the child traumatized. Unsure. Ill at ease. He now knows deeply that the love and acceptance that he craves from the people he should be able to trust the most is.....conditional. If he behaves in a certain.
way.
If he's a good boy. He'll never distinguish behavior from his own worth as a human being. His own worth as a human being and a valuable person will always now depend on the approval of his parents and thus others.
The conclusion: if they withdraw their approval, I must therefor be a bad person (a person who is not worthy of their approval or love)
The boy will carry this deficiency into his adult life.....
.....and he will attempt to compensate for it.
Instead of arriving at self actualization he will perpetuate a cycle of compensation.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
doesnt seem much different than the person getting a monthly or yearly coin while reeking of alcohol. it happens and why wouldnt it- some people show up in AA and, believe it or not, arent very honest.
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