megsykreeg

My heart just aches. Here I am again. AH is drinking again... things have been off since May. I posted about energy drinks and odd behavior, but I think he was just covering the alcohol with the energy drinks. Saturday night he flipped his truck. I went to the hospital took his wallet, keys and phone. The next morning when he woke up he was angry with me of course, like it was my fault he flipped his truck and wound up in the hospital. HIs main concern per usual was his job. Like you're not thinking about not drinking anymore. Not ruining your family. Then I arranged for someone to pick him up and take him to a recovery house. He ran.... left the hospital with no shoes on, broke into our house and took his phone and wallet. I had took everything out of the wallet except one credit card which accidentally was my card and I never use it so it was declined. He then wrote the cab a check and left the house. Broken window and all. He attempted to take $400 out on the card but I blocked it bc it was my card. Then I of course knew what to do. I transferred money out of the bank accounts that he could access. Changed all the log ins. He was livid. Then of course sent me some cryptic text. Of course life goes on and I had to call the insurance co about his truck to start the claim. I went to the towing yard and took the personal items out. Amazing he was fine and only had bumps and bruises. The axel broke and the front wheel was off! Last text I sent him was about the truck and his court date. Most likely he won't show up and will be arrested. I have had no communication since that text. I haven't tried. I know I have to let him go to make his own choices. I'm meeting with an attorney tomorrow to see what I do next. I have a power of attorney so I have access to close accounts, his 401K and such. I just need to put everything together. So much to do. I have to again apply for state assistance... ugh... my heart just aches to be doing this. I might have to file a temporary restraining order, legal separation or even divorce. Might be my only choice to protect my family. It's the saddest for my girls. He's only been there for the birth of our oldest and her 3rd birthday party. He was not there for the birth of my second, but was for her 1st birthday. He'll miss another one. He'll miss Christmas... what is he thinking? How are we so easily expendable. I might have to sell the house. I of course still love him but I love those girls so much more. I will protect them at all costs. Even if it means the greatest pain of divorcing my only love.

Maudcat

Hi, megsy.
Sounds like you know what you need to do.
Good thoughts.

PuzzledHeart

I second Maudcat - you sound like you know what you need to do at this very moment. I'm in awe that you have the presence of mind and courage to take the actions needed to protect your girls, even as you have to simultaneously wade through the muck of his betrayal and the financial mess he's leaving behind. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this.

dandylion

megsy....what a demonstration of the power of the disease and the fact that we cannot control another person when they are not ready to give up the drinking....

There are times when we just have to do what we know that we have to do....

Bekindalways

Ugh Megsy, this sounds just horrid.

I so hope you are doing what you can to take care of yourself: eat well, stay hydrated, and get some exercise.

Let us know how it goes.

Kboys

Big hugs Megsy and so sorry you're going through this....
You are a strong woman and you know what you need to do. You can do this.

FeelingGreat

Sorry Meggsy; it didn't sound good about the energy drinks, and your instincts were right again.
Great, quick work with the bank accounts but does he need some money to live on? I'm just wondering if you have it all?
You say he has a court date, so I assume he was DUI?
It's terribly hard for you and the girls and you have so much to do. Look after yourself won't you?

megsykreeg

I'm not concerned about him having money to live on... he's just gonna drink. The more money I can keep him from the better. He does have one credit card that I'm actually working on closing. If he has nothing he will come to the end of himself faster. He has his phone to call anyone for help to live. He won't do that until he's done drinking. yes, he got a dui and will have to face that. Trying to stand strong. It's hard when my toddlers keep asking when Daddy is coming home.

shauna71

You are an amazing mama and you are doing such a good job for yourself and the kids. You sound strong and focus despite all the muck that is flying. Make sure to add some self-care in there ... hot bath, deep breathing, chocolate ... anything and everything that will soothe your heart. Sending you a great big hug.