Confused
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 206
Same here unfortunately. Both my friends and family. I am going to tell them all my intentions over the next few days or when the opportunity arises. Its either going to be that they are in support and want to help, or knowing the people I know, they will tease and try to enable me back to the drinking life. If that is the case, I will have no choice but to cut the negative ones out of my life. Its sad but I think it just needs to be done when you're making a serious life change like this.
This is just my take on the situation and what I will probably have to do. I would hope for other people that their friends will understand and be supportive.
Brighten
This is just my take on the situation and what I will probably have to do. I would hope for other people that their friends will understand and be supportive.
Brighten
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 155
It's a hard one to navigate and I struggle with this one too.
For me it's very important right now that I surround myself with people who are supportive of my sobriety goal.
I learned it's very difficult and a real trigger to be around alcohol or functions/friends associated with alcohol. I'm not there yet, I need some distance.
I didn't feel a need to take out an ad or post to all my fb friends for instance that I was quitting but when it comes up I deal with it. I let people know I'm not drinking, it all depends on who I'm talking to. Some I'm very upfront with others I say it is a reflux issue (which isn't a lie) and they don't really need to know anymore than that.
I'm learning that for the most part the only person fixated on what's in my glass is me and if any of my friends are affected by my not drinking a beverage with alcohol well that really says a lot more about their relationship with alcohol than mine.
Be good to yourself these early days of sobriety change is hard and you need all the support you can get!!
For me it's very important right now that I surround myself with people who are supportive of my sobriety goal.
I learned it's very difficult and a real trigger to be around alcohol or functions/friends associated with alcohol. I'm not there yet, I need some distance.
I didn't feel a need to take out an ad or post to all my fb friends for instance that I was quitting but when it comes up I deal with it. I let people know I'm not drinking, it all depends on who I'm talking to. Some I'm very upfront with others I say it is a reflux issue (which isn't a lie) and they don't really need to know anymore than that.
I'm learning that for the most part the only person fixated on what's in my glass is me and if any of my friends are affected by my not drinking a beverage with alcohol well that really says a lot more about their relationship with alcohol than mine.
Be good to yourself these early days of sobriety change is hard and you need all the support you can get!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 13
This has been an issue for me too in the past, it led to many relapses. Eventually I realised that they were not my true friends and this realisation happened whilst I was still drinking. Now I just say 'I don't drink', if they have a problem with that then I don't want them in my life.
However, I'm also aware that I've used drinking friends to justify relapsing. My addicted brain desperately tries to find reasons to carry on - "oh all these friends of mine drink, so I have to do it too", when in actual fact they're completely ok with me not drinking, I'm just using it as an exuse.
However, I'm also aware that I've used drinking friends to justify relapsing. My addicted brain desperately tries to find reasons to carry on - "oh all these friends of mine drink, so I have to do it too", when in actual fact they're completely ok with me not drinking, I'm just using it as an exuse.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 145
Alexe
It's a slippery slope. My "friends" were drinking friends. Now that I have stopped drinking, there are still a few who offer their time to "hang out" alcohol free. But I never established a relationship with them that didn't include alcohol, so I haven't bothered to test the waters by "hanging out" with them. A few days into my sobriety, I had one such "friend" come over to check on me. He was very supportive of my quitting. But there we were, "hanging out" without alcohol, and I realized "I really don't have anything in common with this person. Hell, I don't even really like him. " LOL. He couldn't understand why I wanted to cut ties. I had to explain that we had nothing in common other than drinking, and that it was too hard for me to be around people who triggered me to drink.
You will have to figure out what is going to work for YOU in order to NOT drink. Trust your intuition. Put out your feelers lightly, and if it feels triggering to be with these people, you may have your answer right there, at least for now in your early days. And you may even discover with the more sobriety time you have under your belt, that these people weren't really your "friends".
Good luck. It will be ok. You will make NEW friends, sober.
It's a slippery slope. My "friends" were drinking friends. Now that I have stopped drinking, there are still a few who offer their time to "hang out" alcohol free. But I never established a relationship with them that didn't include alcohol, so I haven't bothered to test the waters by "hanging out" with them. A few days into my sobriety, I had one such "friend" come over to check on me. He was very supportive of my quitting. But there we were, "hanging out" without alcohol, and I realized "I really don't have anything in common with this person. Hell, I don't even really like him. " LOL. He couldn't understand why I wanted to cut ties. I had to explain that we had nothing in common other than drinking, and that it was too hard for me to be around people who triggered me to drink.
You will have to figure out what is going to work for YOU in order to NOT drink. Trust your intuition. Put out your feelers lightly, and if it feels triggering to be with these people, you may have your answer right there, at least for now in your early days. And you may even discover with the more sobriety time you have under your belt, that these people weren't really your "friends".
Good luck. It will be ok. You will make NEW friends, sober.
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