Mandy73

In the past I had some sober time, 2 years in fact, and then I relapsed and it took me 6 years of my life drinking to get the courage to give it up again.

So after 2 years living sober what made me want to drink again?

I became complacent with my sobriety. I stopped working at it. I allowed myself to indulge in thoughts of drinking, and maybe just this once. I was around people and events too often where there was drinking..I felt like I was missing out. And ultimately I caved.

So I know there are things that need to be different this time because you get awfully comfortable thinking you are leading a sober life but it can come back for you at any time if you let it in.

Just thought I would share this in case maybe it helps anyone else.
Be vigilant!

LastDrop

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mandy73

and then I relapsed and it took me 6 years of my life drinking to get the courage to give it up again.

This bit is what I need to imprint on my mind. I always get out of the fog and start believing I can relapse for a while then just start over. Not true for me. It takes courage to start over again on the sober path.

Delilah1

Welcome back Mandy! Thank you for sharing your story. I am about 2.5 months away from the two year mark, and I know from the past that complacency is my biggest enemy.

I am glad you are here with us.

Forward12

Just a sip, is like jumping off a cliff. The AV never goes away. We can lock it in a cage, but it is always ready at any chance it gets to jump back out.

hpdw

Thanks for reminding me Mandy . Your post could have been mine as I also went back out after 2 years 7 years ago. we had a holiday in Blackpool and I actually planned beforehand that I would have a few pints and I did . By the end of the week long holiday I was as bad as I was 2 years prior . I have had various terms of sobriety since and each time I relapsed and quit it became harder and harder to feel well . This time I am at day 70 .

Zebra1275

I had some sober time, 2 years in fact, and then I relapsed and it took me 6 years of my life drinking to get the courage to give it up again.

I have a similar story, I had 5 1/2 sober years and then thought it would be ok to have a beer in a restaurant with my nice steak dinner.

That single beer lead me to a year of on-again, off again drinking while I desperately tried to get sober again.

I've got over 7 years now, I will not become complacent again.

Mandy73

It became much harder to get to the point where I wanted to quit again this time.
I kept making excuses, flirted with the idea of quitting and thinking well at least I'm thinking about quitting so I'll get there eventually. I spent years thinking about it while still actively being consumed by alcohol. There were always events or holidays that needed to come before I could quit " ok I'll quit after my birthday, after Christmas, after the family bbq"
Then the big one that kept me going was COMPARING MY DRINKING HABITS TO OTHERS.
Some of the things I told myself:
Everyone kicks back with alcohol especially on the weekend, wine wednesday is a thing other women/ moms are drinking wine today, I only drink 3-4 days I don't drink every day like some people, I don't drink hard liquor JUST WINE, she drinks way more than I do and she isn't even concerned about her drinking and how it's affecting her health so I'm sure I'm fine.

This is the insanity that played over and over in my head and allowed it to continue for another 6 years.
I'm not even sure how I got to the point that I quit. It wasn't some big event that happened, I just got tired of being hungover, I got tired of the ugly broken record that was constantly playing in my head, and that's when I came back to SR and started reading.