babyedwards

Wednesday will be my 90 days. It's been a hell of a rough go. I am finally into see a family doctor next Monday to get my mental health in order. I drank daily to control the panic attacks and thoughts. So far I'll have 4 or 5 good days then 4 or 5 bad days in a row. I'm in a slump. I've become over obsessed with my health. Heart palpitations=heart attack. Head pressure=epilepsy. Lightheadedness=Heart failure. Today I have so much head pressure like tension headache type thing I've convinced myself I'm going to have a seizure. Just one drink and these thoughts and feelings would go away. I'm really struggling right now. I've done nothing but cry all day and it's terrible. Its thanksgiving here in Canada and I didn't even go to my family dinner due to googling symptoms all day and self diagnosing myself with seizures. I'm a mess. When does this get better?

Dee74

Hi Baby Edwards

Some people find that stopping drinking brings their other mental health issues into sharper focus.

Drinkings not the answer for you,m but I think seeing your DR is = let us know what they say.

And please - stay off Dr Google - I don't doubt you're a smart person, but neither you or I have the perspective or expertise to diagnose things - you really need an outside perspective from a Dr to do that.

congrats on your upcoming 90 days

D

babyedwards

90 days feels like 20 years. I can't believe I made it this far. One of my best friends is a nurse and she always checks me over and says "you silly goose you just have pms" or "it's just allergies" the doctor in the er even said my heart is perfect. He wouldn't even do anymore tests aside from the ecg. I have some serious mental health issues tho. Those need tending too or I am going to drink again. I'm simply not strong enough.

Gottalife

Like Dee said, stopping the alcohol can expose other mental illness. For alcoholics of my type, it also brings out my alcoholism. Each time I stopped drinking without doing something else in way of treatment, my life got miserable.

At the time I would have liked a mental illness to pin my problems on, but luckily for me my doctors wouldnt buy that one.

Closing in on 90days is a big achievement. I only managed that once, and most of it was time locked up in an institution. Funnily enough when I got to 90days with AA, it was a big milestone. I had worked steps up to step 10and my whole life had changed. That was the point at which I realised the desire to drink had left me.

I came relate to how slowly time seems to pass as we try to find out way out. I sometimes think the first 30 days was longer than the first 30years.

Dee74

That's addiction talking BabyEdwards. You are strong enough - you've already gone 90 days...keep looking for help and the next 90 days can be a little easier for you, maybe?

D