Vicki09

New here, thought I'd give it a try. So far for the past few days it's worked reading threads on here instead of drinking, to get me past wine o clock 😔

AM100

I am also new and on day 5. I've never been a forum user for anything but I've found that reading here has really helped, especially now that I'm participating some.

In fact, every time I think about drinking I come here if it's possible.

I've also found that thinking about starting tomorrow without a hangover gives me something to look forward to. I've begun to focus alot of attention on the next day, mornings used to be my favorite time of day before my drinking got so bad. It's a nice peice of life that I seem to be getting back.

I guess what I'm saying is that focusing on the little things seems to be a big help for me.

Ohme

Hey Day 5 club!
I'm dreading the weekend too. It's a long weekend here as well.
I'm planning about 40 things to do so that I don't get bored and triggered. Good luck, I'll be looking out for you

Vicki09

I never used to suffer from hangovers, that's why I thought everything was okay, even though I was drinking 2 bottles of wine maybe more every evening. Sometimes it would hit me worse and I said/text things I didn't mean, couldn't remember the next morning, dreaded going on my phone. That's how I know I've got to stop, completely stopped caring about how I look anymore, just want to spend all weekend in bed instead of with the kids 😞

SaturatedSeize

My first weekend was NOT easy, the cravings hit hard and I struggled through it. It was the first time I had to focus on every hour of the day to NOT drink. My AV told me a lot of things to try to get me to cave, "Sobriety isn't worth it," " You can control it," "It's the weekend, you deserve it." It was a constant struggle, and it may be for you all as well, but rationally, you know it isn't true. Waking up, clear minded, feeling great, is the victory. And Monday morning, making it through, is the victory. The second weekend was even more difficult then the first and I almost caved this last Sunday.

I'm on day 16 and never looking back. You can do it too. Stay busy! Have a plan for when those cravings hit. And EXPECT it to be bad, hope for the best, plan for the worst.

Good luck, you can do this!

Good luck to you all

ReadyAtLast

Welcome Vicky

The first weekend can be difficult as it's new and changing habits can be challenging. but you can do it and get through it Maybe do stuff with your kids where there is no access to alcohol. Definitely avoid bars, clubs, even restaurants. Doing the same things but trying not to drink is just too difficult imo. Building new habits is crucial to my sobriety.

Vicki09

Thanks all 🙂 I'm really trying to change all my routine, keep myself busy. I'm picking my youngest up from day care shortly, walking past the shop I usually call in to pick 2 bottles of wine up, I've managed to walk past without going in past few days, just hope I can do it again now, its taking enormous will power not to think I deserve a drink to get this far.

Mandy73

Weekends were my thing, binge binge binge, yay it's fun weekend indulgence time! Then my weekends started getting longer and consisted of drinking from Weds evening to Sunday evening.
I got tired of feeling like crap, telling my daughter that Mommy was going for a nap so she was getting special time with Dad, basically rationalizing my hangover.
I found that my drinking was so rarely a social thing. I drank by myself the majority of the time. Sometimes I would watch Earthcam to feel less alone and see that weekend binging was a 'normal thing that everyone did'. How sad and pathetic is that?
It wasn't normal to sit in front of a tv by myself pouring glass after glass of wine and thinking this somehow enhanced my life.
I'm early on still myself 22 days. I have done 3 sober weekends so far and they weren't easy but waking up Saturday morning, enjoying my coffee and feeling refreshed and rested, being able to be there for my kids. Well...that was my reward. It feels pretty damn good to accomplish that.
I have cravings every weekend, I just keep changing the script, doing things differently and coming here to read and get support.
We can totally do this! Join me for a clear headed enjoyable well rested sober weekend!

Vicki09

Thanks Mandy

I am feeling positive at least I haven't got any wine tonight, walked past the shop. That's what I was doing drinking on my own every night, as a single mom when my kids were in bed, not being able to stop. Looking back I feel like I've had no life over the past 5 years or so, I've managed to hold my job down and exist but that's about it. The panic attacks were getting worse and worse every morning I had to get up and try get through another day. I know Friday night especially will be difficult as I don't have the kids, will just try keep myself busy hopefully 😒

Berrybean

Welcome Mandy - well, keep reading and posting, and maybe plan in a couple of easy but fun activities with the kids. Once sober I started to find that there was so much going on in my local area that I'd never realised - a whole community I'd dismissed and chosen not to be a part of.
Where I live the local library is a great place to find out local things going on - is there a formation hub near you that is similar?

Lots of libraries run kids activities (story tellers / lego club / dress-up story time etc) as well, so it might be worth investigating. Anything where you would be able to take a bit of a back seat but still be busy enough to interrupt the obsession to drink would be a good idea at the weekend.

Also, if nothing else, try to look after the HALT triggers - Hunger - Anger - Loneliness - Tiredness. They are very powerful!

Anyway. Glad you found us.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and your recovery.
BB

Mandy73

I really relate to your situation. Make sure to come up with many different strategies and plans on how to spend Friday before it gets here. Right now for me I made a list of all the self indulgent things I enjoy that aren't alcohol related ie fav snacks, fav pop, fav shows, crocheting, new book, variety puzzles, adult colouring book, new apps ( I'm quite fond of escape games and they keep my mind busy) etc etc. And I do these things that I enjoy and for me it helps me feel less deprived. Anyways that's just what seems to be working for me for now, stuffing my face with decadent chocolate lol

Mandy73

Oh I also want to recommend to you a wonderful podcast ( I hope that s allowed?) but it is definitely for the wine Moms ... It's called Sober Sassy Life by Jackie Elliot and it was/is exactly my story. It gave me the push I needed to just do this. I highly recommend it. Anytime I'm feeling an urge I listen to one of her podcasts and she just amazing. I hope that helps

Frank14

Instead of dreading the weekend, embrace it!

Make a plan of activities to keep yourself busy. Break whatever drinking habits you had. Change the pattern drastically. The main thing is to have that plan and do not go back to the old habits. You'll find it's the best, most productive weekend you've had in awhile. Although, in my first few weeks I was so sleepy I went to bed really early.

For example, in my weekend I planned 3 hour hike in the hills, went out to the movies (to get out of the house), played cards for several hours with the kids, exercised, etc., It's such a great and empowering experience waking up in the morning without the hangover and knowing you've done so many things.

Write down that schedule, hour-by-hour if needed. Make it a fun time...I got so granular I put down when I would have my ice-cream/chocolate syrup, stretches, warm bath, etc., Whatever it takes!

Dee74

Welcome to SR Vicki

D

Hevyn

It's great to have you with us, Vicki. We all understand what it's like in those early days of quitting. 5 days sober is a great achievement - and it'll get easier.

least

Welcome to the family Vicki! I was a wine drinker too, but sober almost 8 yrs now and so much happier and healthier.

Magpie82

Hi Vikki, I'm on day 5 too. I'm also very concerned about the weekend. You aren't alone. We can do this.

Dee74

How are things Vicki?

D

boyml27

I am sitting here in bed with my husband asleep. Usually I would be drinking until I was ready to pass out for the night. I've been reading everyone here, and it's giving me strength for the first time in twenty years to stop. It's been three days, and I want it, but I want to stop doing stupid stuff and feeling like crap more. Weekends are tough, so I'm staying in and avoiding triggers for now. I'll keep checking in. It helps tremendously.

jkirk

Day 5 is when your body starts to feel better! You have almost crossed over-don't restart! Every day from here gets better. Keep busy, get out of the house!!!!! Good luck!!!