Scrainblaugh

I'm on day one here after almost 2 months of drinking. I'm feeling all the typical regret, anger at myself, and fear that I can't do it. I'm hoping for extra support from newcomers. Because of child care limitations, I won't be able to do the traditional 90 in 90 recommended by AA. I can make meetings most days this week but I can't go to one in person today, day one. Please let me know how you all are doing as it helps me so much to read your accounts of early sobriety. Thank you!

ChloeRose63

Hi and welcome. I am on Day 3 from a 3 day beer binge. Day 1 and 2 are rough and scary. Today I am still tired but, eating healthy. Just anxious to get back my energy and move on to a sober life.

Scrainblaugh

Thank you, Chloe! I'm also feeling some excitement about the good physical feelings I have when I'm sober. Unfortunately, I'm equally nervous about those early cravings because they are so strong they distort my thinking. I want to have confidence that I will recognize this as my alcoholic voice and not someone I want to listen to.

ChloeRose63

My crazy cravings come about once every 6 weeks when I am feeling great and want to feel better. I actually was trying to talk myself out of buying boose that day but, just kept on the 'zombie mission'. I call it that because it doesn't feel like the real me going through the motions. I only get back to myself after all the beer is gone and I have to stop. 3 days into sobriety my mind is slowly slowing down enough to think rationally. Still have a hard time sleeping.

Scrainblaugh

I totally relate to the zombie mission. That's the one where I know what I am doing is wrong and I let myself do it anyway by pretending it's not even happening. So insane

Bluemilk

Hi Scrainblaugh, I've just hit my first week of sobriety. I'm not going to lie; it's been tough but I feel so much better now.

I've had a whole bunch of withdrawal symptoms and cravings but I've kept going and I'm starting to feel good and sleep again.

You really have nothing to fear but the fear itself. It may be cliche but it's also very true. If you can train yourself to relax and let the fear go; it's one less thing you'll want to drown out with alcohol. Easier said than done, granted but once you realize fearing yourself is a waste of energy (as it's only you who can control yourself) it gets a lot easier.

This place has helped me immensely; not that I'm enjoying the pain of others but it's nice to read stories I can relate to and realize I'm not alone in this. Neither are you, stay strong and you will feel better. Focus on the battle and not the war; look for the small victories. Each small victory teaches you how to win those larger victories. Take it one step at a time and keep stepping

joandmelandhan

Scrainblaugh I'm no longer in my first week but what I am is a fellow busy mum who has also struggled to devote the time to AA which I felt the programme required. It can be so difficult to "get well" (cope with withdrawal and general yucky feelings) whilst looking after children and trying to hold down work too.
There's no getting away from the fact that you're not going to have a great week but it WILL pass and you WILL feel much better soon.
I have tried to work hard on accepting the fact that I am done. Not one sip of alcohol will pass my lips ever again. It is actually quite a relief to hold that thought.
I would stick to SR like glue of you can't get to any f2f meetings. There's no such thing as posting too much trust me! I recommend the class of October 2017 and the 24 hour thread for starters. Plus there is soooo much to read. Just typing something into the search function will give you loads of threads to study and learn from.
If a day feels too long break it down into hours. The most important thing is to get your head on that pillow sober each and every night. Brilliant or what?!
As a mum my life with my 2 daughters has transformed already. Just little things but I am responsible, consistent and reliable. Plus the guilt does melt away too over time I promise you.
Take care and keep posting!

ChloeRose63

Love your post, Jo.
Very wise, insightful and helpful!

joandmelandhan

Bless you ChloeRose thanks to you too! That's what I love about SR - people helping one another. Take care sweetie

Scrainblaugh

Thanks to both Bluemilk and Jo!! I really appreciate your insights and will keep returning here for support!

Horatio48

Day 6 here. My first few days were not good. I had quite bad withdrawal symptoms. It gets better. And better. Each of us can do it. You can do it. We just need to get the balance right and absorb the bumps. I have been trying for long. And have been failing by going on occasional binges. But have also had sustained periods of success - most of the year has been sober. I will keep trying and keep believing. That spirit is there in all of us. It just needs to be nurtured and occasionally reignited. Good luck.

Silverback4

You can totally do this!
Things seem a bit brighter after week 1 some things start to improve faster than others even with a busy life like you describe.

I can relate to that, I have 2 young kids and run a business, help look after wider family etc and it can be so tough to carve out the time required to action your recovery plan and attend meetings depending on timings etc.

It can be done though and it is so worth it and this is why SR is so wonderful. When things are getting tough all you need is a connected device and 5 minutes. It’s better than just white knuckling it through.

I am only 3 weeks sober today and even after that short space of time I cannot begin to think of who I was 3 weeks ago and we all know it’s only gets better.

Best of luck to you and wish you the best

Dee74

Welcome back Scrainblaugh

There's tons of support here - why not check out our Class of October support thread as well?

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-pt-1-a-3.html (Class of October 2017 Support Thread pt. 1)

D

Lettinggo41

Today is day one for me too! Not only am I an alcoholic but I'm also a food addict, so my sobriety also includes being clean of sugar, wheat, flour, and corn. I feel crappy too, but I keep focusing on how I don't want to feel what I've felt in the past and on how much better I'll feel soon. This too shall pass - makes me feel hopeful to think this mantra. I'm sending positive thoughts to all my family in recovery - I know I need them too!

ChloeRose63

Hi, Lettinggo.
You really are letting go of all the nasty stuff you consume! Are you going on a special diet?

ChloeRose63

85 hours sober and having anxiety attacks. My bf asked me why it seemed like I had lost time. I felt a flush of heat enter my head and tried to explain it (other than confess to my 3 day binge). Told him I was having a difficult time because our cat died. It was true but, we all know not the whole truth. I found myself searching for words because my mind is not all that clear. I just walked away before he asked me the famous question, "Have you been drinking?" This ends here or my relationship will end.
I will remain sober.

Cedartower

I am 10 days after several months drinking. Physically and mentally I am feeling better. Eating healthily and getting exercise. It's my sleep that is weird. I'm out by 9.30 pm but find it hard to get to sleep but although sleep, when it comes, is sound it's not that satisfying. However I feel that it's gradually improving. Gaining a mind set that I am no longer a drinker but it's not easy.

hpdw

This is a great response . Although im 2 Months sober the first few days are still fresh in my mind . The days amount to weeks and months .
Stick with us ,keep reading and posting .
.

Gottalife

I was in my first week once. I don't remember much about it. In AA, smiling people making me feel welcome, a new experience. Quite interesting stories. I looked at the floor a lot. Couldn't look anyone in the eye, tried to go to meetings with padded seats as I was all skin and bone. Couldn't hold a cup of tea without spilling it everywhere. Good thing we had saucers. Had to read the serenity prayer off the wall. Couldn't speak in the meetings, just listened.

Saw some amazing people who had recovered and seemed to be living successful lives. There were people there with incredible lengths of sobriety, 6 weeks, 6 months, even an amazing 18 months.

Not sleeping well. Raw skin and sweats. Couldn't get out of bed in the morning, couldn't think or reason, little decisions were major. Racing thoughts.

Heard the 90 in 90 thing. Must have misunderstood. I took it as a metaphor for total immersion in AA. Had the feeling that it would never work If I was half-arsed about it. Also, that deal came with a misery back guarantee.

Got a sponsor, took the steps. Was up to step nine after the 90 days. Everything had changed. Let them keep the misery. Never drank again.

Did quite a lot of meetings, but it wasn't 90. I have since learned that it is not the meetings that gave me permanent sobriety. I have sponsored people with family commitments that can only do a couple of meetings a week. We work the steps together ( the steps are not done in the meeting), and they have made wonderful recoveries. Conversely I know folks who almost live in the meetings who keep relapsing. They don't think they need to do the steps.