Elle7

Hello everyone, this is my first time.
I really need to unburden myself. I got so drunk on Friday night/Saturday morning. I ended up staying out till Saturday afternoon. Came home and went to bed. When my kids tried to wake me up I was talking nonsense. My 14 yr old called my sister who came round an have me black coffee to help me come round. My kids were really freaked out and I'm so ashamed. Not to mention all the embarrassing stuff I did at my friend house 😢 I know i shouldn't drink but I can't stop when I start. Anyone got any words to offer, baring in mind I'm terribly fragile. Thanks for reading .

biminiblue

If drinking is a problem, the solution is to quit.

I haven't done anything embarrassing, dangerous, illegal or otherwise bad for me in close to four years - since I quit.

ReadyAtLast

We've all been there and understand. the number of times I 've woken up not remembering the night before are numerous. The only way to stop it happening again is to stop drinking completely or it will happen again and again with even more serious consequences. Especially for a woman it's so dangerous putting ourselves in dangerous situation .

This is a great place for support and help in stopping drinking. Do you want to quit ?

PerplexednLost

Hi - I understand. I did almost the same thing this past Friday- except that I started at 8:00 am when my wife took my older kid to school...I was supposed to work Friday night...I showed up near the end of the shift and as I'm he boss I started threatening to fire someone. Then kicked in the door to the office once we were closed. It's really even worse than that - at least what I can remember. If it makes you feel any better, it sounds like I did much worse than you.
Yesterday I couldn't even leave the house. I'm supposed to be working right now but I'm huddled in the office hiding. Didn't want to post yet as I just signed up - but I saw your post and wanted to let you know that I understand and sympathize completely.
Good luck and I hope you feel better soon

Elle7

Thanks for the words. It helps to know im not alone even if i am kind of. I just made an appointment with a counsellor to try get to the root of things. In answer to your question yes I want to stop. I think because I don't do it all the time I can cope with the negative feelings after. But now it has involved my precious boys I know it can never happen again. I'm all they have , which i guess is part of my issues, so much pressureto be perfect sometimes I think I just need to prove to myself that I'm still a messed up lonely child. God I wish my appointment was today. You sound as thoughyou're having a really awful time too perplexed. Sorry I can't remeber all the names my head is a bit fuzzy but thanks so much I appreciate it.

HTown

I felt the same way just over a year ago. You never have to feel that way again. You must give up drinking. I know it sounds scary, but once you are past the first months, you will Not miss it! I cannot tell you how good I feel. Just never pick up the first drink. Handle stresses as they come, face life and you will be rewarded.

Elle7

Congratulations on your recovery. 😊 I want to say I won't pick up another drink again but feel it sounds trite... although I mean it. I need to get past the barrier of asking for help, and I'll do my best. Thanks again.

Elle7

Can I ask what support you got to stop drinking? I went to an AA meeting a few years ago but i didn't relate to the people's stories. Not cos I think I'm better than them more that I felt like fraud, if that makes sense? 😕

Anna

Elle, I really hope that you decide to stop drinking. I think what you are finding is that alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will worsen until you stop drinking. It's good that you are planning to see a counsellor. If you have alcohol in the house, it's best to get rid of it all and then to make a plan as to how you will begin your recovery. You can do this!

Silverback4

You have come to the right place!

The good news is that you never need to have the feelings you are experiencing right now EVER again if you commit to not drinking alcohol.

Lots of support on here and information on how to get yourself on a good recovery plan for you.
Take advantage of that and you never have to frighten your kids again

Elle7

I don't have any alcohol in the house and generally only drink once every couple of weeks so I know it won't be hard in the short term. I will put things in place and look after myself so I can do it long term. Thanks for your advice. 😊

Elle7

Can you point me in the direction of a recovery plan please?

doggonecarl

Makes sense. But read your initial post and ask yourself if you feel like a fraud now?

Successful recovery should start with the lengths you are willing to go to get and remain sober, not what you won't do.

There are a lot of "methods" to get sober. Hope you find one. But don't think you don't belong in AA. You said you went a few years ago. And here you are, still dealing with the consequences of your drinking. It only gets worse, so I hope your coming here is the beginning of the end of your drinking.

FLCamper

Elle7, AA isn't for everyone. There's no arguing that many people have been helped by them. As Carl said, there are other methods. Keep reading here on S-R and something may ring true for you. You don't have to feel this way again.

Culture

Hi Elle -
I was a binge drinker, couldn't stop after starting, many day 1's.
Big difference this time was the recovery plan, I am now 2 months sober. I also read up on alcoholism on SR and internet (loads of information out there) being better informed, you know what your dealing with. I was pretty ignorant about it and now I cannot fool myself any longer with lies that I can moderate my drinking, tbh, giving the stuff up is much easier than stopping when you get started. Also if I get a craving, I eat something, do something, it really helps.
Take it a day at a time and don't rule anything out. I don't go to AA, but I would be prepared to try anything for my sobriety.
Couldn't find the recovery plan link myself, so hopefully some kind soul on here will be along with a link for you about them.

Elle7

Yeah i wouldn't rule it out. Just found out I was throwing myself at my friends boyfriend! I'm mortified. She's just called and she's very understanding but I don't know if I can look either of them in the eye again. Binge drinking is definitely my thing too. I can't keep doing this man. I wish I wish I could reverse time. Never knew I could feel so much self pity and shame at the same time and then self loathing for feeling sorry for myself.

honeypig

Elle7, I'm from the "family and friends" side of things, so can't offer direct experience. I do, however, have the link for the recovery plan threads. Here it is: https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...at-we-did.html (Recovery Programs & What to Expect (What We Did))

I hope you grab onto your recovery with both hands and work it like your life depended on it...

Horatio48

I am sure many have done much worse. I have. No one died. We can only control what we do from now. The wondering about how bad it was will fade. We all do it when we have a blackout incident. I used to obsess for days about what I might have said and what people think. It was a kind of self absorbed distraction. What I needed to focus on was not doing it again. But I did. More times than I can remember. I hope you feel better and as the days pass and everyone forgets about this weekend make the right choices for a better future for you and your family. Good luck.

Elle7

Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm gonna try so hard to get myself on a different path .

Bird615

Welcome to SR Elle7!