hpdw

Dear all ,
I am at 2 Months sober and while I have some tools in place such as Sober Recovery , increased walking , less junk food ( this one not working so well ) . I am sober but still struggle with stressful situations .
I don't want to be "just sober" I want an inner peace and to bring some fun to living . Sober is saving my life but I want to be a happy sober , put another way I don't want to be sober but also miserable .

Can anyone recommend some good spiritual , life , inspirational reading / speakers ( not Tony Robins , Les Brown Types .) or any ideas , or what you done .

Thanks

Silverback4

Jack Black - Mindstore.
Books lots online it is really good.

It has been around and evolved before CBT and mindfulness became the new trendy but all of the principles are there.

hpdw

I wanted to add that I don't suffer from depression .
What I am reaching out for basically are ways to bring more joy ,peace,contentment to my life as I feel kind of stuck in a cycle of worry then like today I feel good but its like "this won't last " kind of feeling , hard to explain .
I know it's early days for me and it takes time .

Thanks again

Silverback4

Hi Thomas, Mindstore can help.
It is really about stress anxiety management, positive programming, goal setting, choosing a response rather than being trapped by our reactions.

Using better language in general but especially our self talk and trusting our instinct and using our subconscious mind more effectively.
Breaking free from our inbuilt programmes and learning how to conjur up original thought that is good for us.

There is some easy to use tools and techniques also and when you lay it all out it is not a million miles away from the teachings of AA or the good practices that are encouraged in any recovery programme.

I have been active with it for years but it had failed by the way side due to my drinking.
I plan to use it along with my recovery plan as it very easily compliments it for me anyway.

It is less directly about depression but rather about unlocking our full potential and living the fullest life we can.
I believe that the years I have invested in this sort of knowledge and practice mostly for my career and business has been a massive foundation that has helped me take the steps I need to in my sobriety.

It is also about what you send out into the universe so to speak and allowing you to attract the things that you want in your life so there is that echo of a “Higher Power” I suppose that runs through it.

Not preaching here and sorry if it comes across like that. It has helped me and countless others that I have come across over the years.

Of course this stuff ism not unique to Mindstore or any of the other like this. It is universal knowledge that has been packaged in such a way to make it easy to understand and practice.

Silverback4

Forgot to mention “The Alchemist” and “Thae Celestine Prophecy” as another couple of books that I enjoyed and found enlightening in different parts along with “Don’t sweat the small stuff” and “Chicken Soup For The Soul”
“The Secret” by Rhona Byrne is another.

I have also just picked up and started Russell Brands new book on recovery which so far good but only a chapter in.
Not a fan of the Man usually but willing to learn from anyone who is succeeding in recovery.

Sorry for waffling Thomas, all of this is just coming to me as I am writing.
Brain is starting to work again

hpdw

Silverback4 your not waffling on at all . I am a believer in what we put out to the universe has an effect on us . Ive watched the secret movie by Rhona Byrne admittedly with tongue in cheek at parts .
Ive read people post on here that being in service to others is one of the finest things you can do . I also go along with cause and effect , there is always a consequence from the choices we make . I ventured into the law of attraction stuff as mentioned above in the secret . On my nigh shifts I used to watch Esther and Jerry Hicks the teachings of Abraham and while I could see theory behind it I could never believe the woman ( Abraham ) and came to the conclusion it was a big fake act .She teaches we attract EVERYTHING by the way we think , thinking about lack and poverty attracts lack and poverty , what we think about all day long expands and we attract that , we manifest that . Does one manifest a fatal car accident or a handicapped child . I gave up on the law of attraction mostly because I think its fake and the people who write about or speak about it are millionaires . To take it further I began to see it as having a cult like following .
I am a believer in " we are all connected in this universe " mostly all made of the same stuff . ( in Dee's picture today ,we are all one drop making up an ocean)

Russell Brand is hard to listen to but hes walked the walk and stayed sober and clean .
I,m going to look at mindstore for sure .

Thanks

Dee74

The Tao of Pooh is a great read
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Tao_of_Pooh

also Illusions by Richard Bach
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Illusi...8Bach_novel%29

Both are very readable.

D

hpdw

Around 30 years ago I was at a market and saw a stall with books on Dianetics (Dianetics
Dianetics is a set of ideas and practices regarding the metaphysical relationship between the mind and body created by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard; Dianetics is practiced by followers of Scientology, the Nation of Islam and independent Dianeticist groups. Dianetics has achieved no acceptance as a scientific theory and is widely considered to be a pseudoscience.) Wikipedia .
I bought a book . This set of a chain of events that I will never forget . I ended up going to 2 or 3 of their sessions but all they wanted was money . Thinking back I was vulnerable looking for answers to my unhappiness so I tried this much to my regret . I still get letters through the post to this day .

I,m opening up some today and maybe too much thinking . So you see even all those years ago and beyond I was never truly happy deep down .

Should I accept this is just me ? whats missing ? was it always missing ? is nothing missing ?

I believe I drank differently from my peers and sibling because of this feeling of insecurity ,something missing feeling .

Will I ever find the answer ? I don't know .

Cascabel

Thomas. I found the book "A Guide to the Good Life" by William B. Irvine to be a good resource for helping one lead a more "tranquil" and less stressful life. It is a modern take on the Stoic philosophy. I first read the book in late 2010 when I was dealing wth a lapse in my sobriety and found that the Stoic way of looking at things helped me stay sober. Also, there is a one week online course offered by the University of Exeter that gives one a quick guide to Stoic practice. Google Stoic Week to find it. I'm sure that stoicism is not for everyone but I did find the ideas helpful in getting past the "I'm sober, now what?" issues.

MsJax

Hi Thomas,

Brene Brown's new book is just out "Braving the Wilderness". I'm enjoying that so far. I agree with you RE Jerry & Esther Hicks In the early 2000's I followed Abraham and bought a lot of their materials. I just got the sense it is made up and I have seen too much in my life to believe that everyone has brought on the life they have with their thoughts : Same with Byron Katies tone. It's difficult for me to find spiritual type books that I enjoy that don't ring hollow for me; this is more so the older I get.

At this point in my sobriety (over 6 years), I connect more with poets and essayists than I do the self-help/spirituality genre. Tho I'm always looking! Love reading.

tursiops999

Hi Thomas. If it's any comfort, I think the feelings you describe above are very common ... part of the human condition, I think, for many of us.

One book I found helpful was "Hardwiring Happiness" by Rick Hanson. It is science-based and describes some very practical mental habits that help to cultivate contentment.

There are many good writers in the area of Buddhist mindfulness meditation -- Jon Kabat-Zinn ("Wherever you go, There you are"), Jack Kornfield (many books including "The Path with Heart", which is about choosing and committing to a spiritual path), Noah Levine (writes about meditation in the context of recovery).

I don't mean to push Buddhism as a religion -- it's just that many buddhist meditation teachers specifically address that feeling you describe -- being stuck in worry, and being frustrated that good feelings don't last.

hpdw

Iv'e watch a lot of buddhist videos on youtube and found comfort there .Read Jon Kabat-Zinn book too , I will check out the others you suggest ,thanks .

Dee thanks for the links

6 years MsJax ,great to hear .

Cascabel I will look this up .

Some titles Iv'e read lately .

A Return to Love : Marriane Williamson
E Squared :Pam Grout
Three Magic Words : Uell S Anderson

Thank you all for the above suggested reading .
My problem is I read the books and think wow this is so true or , wow just what I wanted only a week later to go back to the same habits , well almost the same.

One thing that CBT is teaching e is to stop catastrophising and jumping to conclusions which are bad habits I have .

Thanks

Cascabel

Thomas. One thing I forgot to mention is that a lot of the ideas in CBT are derived from Stoic practices. If you are using CBT then I think that a lot of the Stoic ideas will seem familiar.

tursiops999

Thomas - I find the same difficulty -- I can read something really great, and then may have trouble integrating it in my day to day life.

One thing that can help is supplementing the reading by going to hear a talk or participate in guided meditation sessions. There are lots of these offered, often free or on a donation basis.

Fourfiftyeight

Hi Thomas

Have you heard of Louise Hay? I have read her book, You Can Heal Your Life, a couple of times and it really resonated with me. It's similar to The Secret in that the basic premise is that your thoughts create your reality and that you have to learn to love and be kind to yourself in order to enjoy a better life. It's really helped me in my new sober journey and I have her affirmations apps on my phone.

Mac4711

Cascabel,
Thank you so much for posting this. Went to the Stoic Week page and signed up for the free course. I'm using every tool I can and this seems right down my alley. SR is truly an awesome place!

Dee74

Hi Thomas

someone once said something very wise to me - what if you're right where you need to be right now?

AI see the rest of my life as a journey of self discovery and improvement, but where I am today - warts and all - is not so bad

D

hpdw

Fourfiftyeight thanks, yes I have read this book and all of Wayne Dyers books . Echart Tole the power of now makes sense but so hard to put into practice .

Dee I like that quote ,thanks . On a similar tone my wife might look across the livingroom ( we sit kind of diagonal to each other watching TV or on laptops ).
She catches me rubbing my neck or prodding my side in that all to familiar somethings wrong with me . She will say " why don't you just forget about yourself youv'e had all the tests and been told there,s nothing wrong "
I think I,m too inward focused on every sensation ache or pain ,its a bad habit .

Cascabel I bought the kindle version of the stoic book but found it very hard to read so returned for refund . Thanks anyway I will research further on this .

hpdw

I think iv'e had an ahah moment .

Dee said :someone once said something very wise to me - what if you're right where you need to be right now?

When I look closely at this maybe I am doing more harm than good trying to change too many things . I changed my signature accordingly .

Mac4711

Thomas,
I found 'Mindful Recovery: A Spiritual Path to Healing from Addiction' to be quite good. Wish I had taken notes though, because at the end I was like 'Wow, so many options, where do I start?'.