2nd DUI in California. I feel like my life is over.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 49
2nd DUI in California. I feel like my life is over.
Hey. I am a 26 year old male with a terrible story to tell. On September 11th I was pulled over for speeding with my friend in the car. We had just left the bar and I decided to drive us home. Worst decision I have ever made in my life...
The cop smelled alcohol on me, asked if I had been drinking, I told him I had not been. He made me get out of the car and do the usual field sobriety tests. I felt like I did pretty good but then he breathalyzed me. I blew a .19 and was arrested for my 2nd DUI. I couldn't pay to get my car out so it's gone. My mom, who has basically been there for me through everything and who pretty much paid my way through my first DUI kicked me out of her house for good. I'm currently attending classes at Chaffey College in hopes of finding a well paying job after a graduate but in light of this 2nd DUI I'm wondering if it's even worth pursuing any form of higher learning anymore. I feel as if I've totally doomed myself. I'll never have a good job, I'll never drive again, I'm not good enough to be a productive member of society and society doesn't want me anyway. In one night I feel like I've completely transformed what could have been a great life into a life of homelessness, regret, and constant misery. What have I done? I'm praying every morning and every night that God carries me through this nightmare. I've cried and cried and cried. I have no more tears left. I don't know if I sound dramatic or if I'm actually right in thinking all this. I'm completely done with alcohol. It has ruined my life. I'm so incredibly embarrassed and ashamed of myself that I contemplate ending my life everyday. I thank God that I didn't hurt anyone or myself, but I feel unworthy of any happiness. I let my mom down, I let myself down. If there's anyone out there who has been in my situation or has any words of wisdom or encouragement, I would greatly appreciate it. I know how stupid I have been, I know I deserve a life behind bars and I know how horrible it is to drink and drive so I humbly ask that people reserve their judgements. I'm dying inside. I beat myself up everyday.
The cop smelled alcohol on me, asked if I had been drinking, I told him I had not been. He made me get out of the car and do the usual field sobriety tests. I felt like I did pretty good but then he breathalyzed me. I blew a .19 and was arrested for my 2nd DUI. I couldn't pay to get my car out so it's gone. My mom, who has basically been there for me through everything and who pretty much paid my way through my first DUI kicked me out of her house for good. I'm currently attending classes at Chaffey College in hopes of finding a well paying job after a graduate but in light of this 2nd DUI I'm wondering if it's even worth pursuing any form of higher learning anymore. I feel as if I've totally doomed myself. I'll never have a good job, I'll never drive again, I'm not good enough to be a productive member of society and society doesn't want me anyway. In one night I feel like I've completely transformed what could have been a great life into a life of homelessness, regret, and constant misery. What have I done? I'm praying every morning and every night that God carries me through this nightmare. I've cried and cried and cried. I have no more tears left. I don't know if I sound dramatic or if I'm actually right in thinking all this. I'm completely done with alcohol. It has ruined my life. I'm so incredibly embarrassed and ashamed of myself that I contemplate ending my life everyday. I thank God that I didn't hurt anyone or myself, but I feel unworthy of any happiness. I let my mom down, I let myself down. If there's anyone out there who has been in my situation or has any words of wisdom or encouragement, I would greatly appreciate it. I know how stupid I have been, I know I deserve a life behind bars and I know how horrible it is to drink and drive so I humbly ask that people reserve their judgements. I'm dying inside. I beat myself up everyday.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
I have not been in the same shoes as you (facing my second court date for DUI) but I have had my life ruined by alcohol and I know all too well the hell on earth of shame, embarrassment, self-hate and regret. It is total misery and I know what it feels like to want to just give up all together. But, and this is going to be hard to believe right now but it is true, there is hope. there is hope for all who want to recover, yourself included. I am sure some others will chime in here soon, I know of several other regular posters who have had multiple DUIs and have had the chance to turn their lives around. You can too. You really can. Please don't give up your education, you really need something positive going on in your life right now. You do deserve a good life and can have it. It sounds like alcohol is causing a lot of problems, pain and misery in your life, I am glad to read that you are done with it. Quitting will give you the opportunity to have that life you want.
Now, it does sound like you have a lot of challenges ahead of you right now. Being clean and sober will serve you well in all of them. Going before the judge as a sober person, working on their recovery will look much better than standing before him hungover or worse, drunk. I think if you can somehow show the positive steps you have made to fight your addiction to alcohol it will work in your favour. In addition, being sober will help you do better in school, concentrate on your studies. It will also free up more money which it sounds like you need right now in order to handle any legal fees that come up and of course housing needs. The longer you stay sober, the better your outlook on life will be as well. It is not a bed of roses of course, but I have found that once my body and especially mind has been cleared out of residual alcohol I start to see things in a new, more positive light.
You made a big mistake and you know this. You are very fortunate in that you did not hurt yourself, your friend or anyone else, things could have been a lot worse and you might not be so lucky next time. But you know this and I don't need to tell you that. It is time to stop beating yourself up. Not that we should just brush off things we have done while drinking (I will never forget many of my most shameful moments and take them very seriously) but we are all children of this earth, of a god of our choosing and we deserve to be here and have the opportunity to better ourselves and live a good, happy life. You do deserve this even if you have made mistakes, don't forget that. I understand your misery and think it is good you are taking this seriously but you need to also be kind to yourself, find a way to forgive yourself and learn to love yourself again. I can say with near certainty that this will be much easier to do as a sober person.
Keep posting here, we are sorry for what brings you here, but happy to have you and the site is filled with many people who understand your pain and are here to support you all through this journey to sobriety. It isn't always easy or fun, but it is entirely possible.
Sending you my best wishes, my deepest concern and many, many hugs from afar. Be kind to yourself.
Now, it does sound like you have a lot of challenges ahead of you right now. Being clean and sober will serve you well in all of them. Going before the judge as a sober person, working on their recovery will look much better than standing before him hungover or worse, drunk. I think if you can somehow show the positive steps you have made to fight your addiction to alcohol it will work in your favour. In addition, being sober will help you do better in school, concentrate on your studies. It will also free up more money which it sounds like you need right now in order to handle any legal fees that come up and of course housing needs. The longer you stay sober, the better your outlook on life will be as well. It is not a bed of roses of course, but I have found that once my body and especially mind has been cleared out of residual alcohol I start to see things in a new, more positive light.
You made a big mistake and you know this. You are very fortunate in that you did not hurt yourself, your friend or anyone else, things could have been a lot worse and you might not be so lucky next time. But you know this and I don't need to tell you that. It is time to stop beating yourself up. Not that we should just brush off things we have done while drinking (I will never forget many of my most shameful moments and take them very seriously) but we are all children of this earth, of a god of our choosing and we deserve to be here and have the opportunity to better ourselves and live a good, happy life. You do deserve this even if you have made mistakes, don't forget that. I understand your misery and think it is good you are taking this seriously but you need to also be kind to yourself, find a way to forgive yourself and learn to love yourself again. I can say with near certainty that this will be much easier to do as a sober person.
Keep posting here, we are sorry for what brings you here, but happy to have you and the site is filled with many people who understand your pain and are here to support you all through this journey to sobriety. It isn't always easy or fun, but it is entirely possible.
Sending you my best wishes, my deepest concern and many, many hugs from afar. Be kind to yourself.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Hi,
I'm sorry for your situation and it's good to see that you acknowledge you are responsible and that you intend to stop drinking for good.
My suggestion would be to talk to a lawyer and to do everything you can to show the court that you have stopped drinking. Going to AA meetings and showing proof of doing that could be very helpful. Anything at all you can do to show that you are changing will likely be very important.
I don't know what will happen to your education. I think it could depend on your career choice. It's always good to be honest on job applications and to not try to hide your legal issues. You will probably find the legal issues will be obstacles in your job search. But, obstacles can be overcome. This is not as bleak as it seems.
I'm sorry for your situation and it's good to see that you acknowledge you are responsible and that you intend to stop drinking for good.
My suggestion would be to talk to a lawyer and to do everything you can to show the court that you have stopped drinking. Going to AA meetings and showing proof of doing that could be very helpful. Anything at all you can do to show that you are changing will likely be very important.
I don't know what will happen to your education. I think it could depend on your career choice. It's always good to be honest on job applications and to not try to hide your legal issues. You will probably find the legal issues will be obstacles in your job search. But, obstacles can be overcome. This is not as bleak as it seems.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
No, you're life is far from over. My concern for you is that once this situation passes, that you will forget what you are going through right now, and continue drinking and end up in worse shape that you are in right now. It's one thing to panic when things are tough, but another thing to really want to make changes. I just hope you take your drinking seriously before things get worse and they will. I picked up a DUI a while ago and it was hell, but I got through it. It doesn't have to define who you are or what you can do unless you allow it to. It will take time and a lot of work, but you can move past this and change your life for the better. Unfortunately, the pain we go through is short lived. Easy to forget the pain and end up in an even worse situation. Hope you turn things around soon. More pain is coming if you don't. Guaranteed. John
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome whatsdoneisdone
I think most of us have experienced shame regret guilt and self hatred over our drinking.
The very best thing you can do now is try not to 'awfulise' the situation. DUIs aren't fun but they're not the end of your life either.
Many many people have bounced back from situations like these
You're among friends here
D
I think most of us have experienced shame regret guilt and self hatred over our drinking.
The very best thing you can do now is try not to 'awfulise' the situation. DUIs aren't fun but they're not the end of your life either.
Many many people have bounced back from situations like these
You're among friends here
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Just chiming in to agree with everyone else. You can and will get through this. I think getting a lawyer is a good idea, they can help you navigate through the court piece.
You are very young, and have your whole life ahead of you. Don't give up on school, what are you studying?
You'll find lots of support on here.
You are very young, and have your whole life ahead of you. Don't give up on school, what are you studying?
You'll find lots of support on here.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
What,
Some great advise from folks that want to help you.
You have altered your trajectory w your drinking. Definitely, bad luck as well.
I drank and drove 1000 times and didn't get caught. It helps when you live in a huge city where cops are actually busy fighting crime vs cherry picking drunks.
Stay healthy, you will need your energy to get through this. Get a great, great, great lawyer. One that you will owe money to for a long time after he gets your charges reduced.
Then, stay clean, work your tail off. If you still must drink, get out of those little towns and move to a place like Las Vegas where you pretty much have to crash your car drunk to get in trouble.
It is tough to quit drinking at such a young age. The mental and physical damage both have yet to manifest into a huge issue. That is what you have to look forward to...if you decide to keep drinking.
Thanks.
Some great advise from folks that want to help you.
You have altered your trajectory w your drinking. Definitely, bad luck as well.
I drank and drove 1000 times and didn't get caught. It helps when you live in a huge city where cops are actually busy fighting crime vs cherry picking drunks.
Stay healthy, you will need your energy to get through this. Get a great, great, great lawyer. One that you will owe money to for a long time after he gets your charges reduced.
Then, stay clean, work your tail off. If you still must drink, get out of those little towns and move to a place like Las Vegas where you pretty much have to crash your car drunk to get in trouble.
It is tough to quit drinking at such a young age. The mental and physical damage both have yet to manifest into a huge issue. That is what you have to look forward to...if you decide to keep drinking.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
I know where you are coming from because I have been in your shoes w/DUIs. You will survive this and come out a better person in the end. Get a good attorney and get into recovery. God works in mysterious ways.
Hang in there!
Hugs
Hang in there!
Hugs
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,934
At 26 with a second DUI your life is far from over.
Sure, things look dismal right now. But get your butt to AA to help you get sober, get an attorney to help you navigate your legal situation, and spend a lot of time on this website.
You sound like you are beating yourself up, playing "worst case scenarios" in your head. AA can really help with that. Go to a lot of meetings in the next few weeks to turn your drinking around and to demonstrate to a judge that your are committed to getting sober.
At 26, statistically you will probably live to age 80. You have a hell of a lot of good years ahead of you. You can recover from this!
Sure, things look dismal right now. But get your butt to AA to help you get sober, get an attorney to help you navigate your legal situation, and spend a lot of time on this website.
You sound like you are beating yourself up, playing "worst case scenarios" in your head. AA can really help with that. Go to a lot of meetings in the next few weeks to turn your drinking around and to demonstrate to a judge that your are committed to getting sober.
At 26, statistically you will probably live to age 80. You have a hell of a lot of good years ahead of you. You can recover from this!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 295
I can relate to that horrible sinking feeling and wanting to die. My first (and last) DUI was treated by the court as a second DUI because of other arrests I had that year plus a super high BAC (.324) and other reasons.
But the truth is my mind thinking up worst case scenarios was much worse than anything that actually ended up happening.
I had to spend some weekends in jail and stay employed at a job I really hated to pay the expenses. It hasn't been exactly fun but it's not the end of your life either.
A good lawyer could possibly get the DUI charge changed to something lesser. A friend of mine had his changed to a "wet reckless" and a co-worker just told me he had his lowered to something else as well. Think how awful it must be to injure someone else drinking and driving. It could have been much worse for you. Stay sober and talk to an attorney ASAP so they can start advising you.
I wish you the best.
But the truth is my mind thinking up worst case scenarios was much worse than anything that actually ended up happening.
I had to spend some weekends in jail and stay employed at a job I really hated to pay the expenses. It hasn't been exactly fun but it's not the end of your life either.
A good lawyer could possibly get the DUI charge changed to something lesser. A friend of mine had his changed to a "wet reckless" and a co-worker just told me he had his lowered to something else as well. Think how awful it must be to injure someone else drinking and driving. It could have been much worse for you. Stay sober and talk to an attorney ASAP so they can start advising you.
I wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 50
Your life is NOT OVER. Been there myself, in California... Every case is different, but a few things here.
As others have said, get legal representation. Not sure what county you are in, but 2nd definitely will be tougher, prepare yourself mentally for that fact and know you will get through it.
Fortunately I had a good lawyer, but still the penalty was 18 months of a weekly alcohol education program, mandatory AA, a SCRAM device that was attached to my ankle for 6 months, and house arrest for 3 months. By far the worst of it was house arrest, but it allowed me to avoid jail time and keep my job (they're pretty liberal about allowing you out for school/work as long as you follow the rules). My goal was to avoid jail, so weekend jail and DUI court was not an option so I opted for house arrest. But there are several other options that you/lawyer can work with the judge on.
As far as the job situation, a lot of employers do not ask if you have misdemeanors on your application, mostly they ask if you had a felony conviction. And after a few years you can work on getting them expunged off your record. If they ask, be honest, I was forthcoming in my interview and still got a job. It also depends the type of job.
The other concern about driving, well, yes this will be an issue. No matter what the court rules, CA DMV will automatically suspend your license for a year. There will be a DMV hearing, and they rarely reverse, even if you are found not guilty in court. DMV acts on their own and are pretty draconian about it. If you refused to submit to a chemical test its 2 years. Unfortunately there is little wiggle room here. Interlock device on your second is highly likely too, but I got out of that.
Believe me, I know what you are going through.. Lots of guilt and uncertainties to "whats going to happen????".. Hopefully my experience helps give you insight on what to expect, but again several variables come into play.
It's rough but again your life is not over. Best thing is to focus on one thing at a time, keep your school trajectory going, mentally prepare its going to be rough, but you will get through it. Do whatever possible to not get a 3rd, as the penalties in CA escalate substantially. Even though I still drink, my 2nd was a huge wake-up call.
Good luck.
As others have said, get legal representation. Not sure what county you are in, but 2nd definitely will be tougher, prepare yourself mentally for that fact and know you will get through it.
Fortunately I had a good lawyer, but still the penalty was 18 months of a weekly alcohol education program, mandatory AA, a SCRAM device that was attached to my ankle for 6 months, and house arrest for 3 months. By far the worst of it was house arrest, but it allowed me to avoid jail time and keep my job (they're pretty liberal about allowing you out for school/work as long as you follow the rules). My goal was to avoid jail, so weekend jail and DUI court was not an option so I opted for house arrest. But there are several other options that you/lawyer can work with the judge on.
As far as the job situation, a lot of employers do not ask if you have misdemeanors on your application, mostly they ask if you had a felony conviction. And after a few years you can work on getting them expunged off your record. If they ask, be honest, I was forthcoming in my interview and still got a job. It also depends the type of job.
The other concern about driving, well, yes this will be an issue. No matter what the court rules, CA DMV will automatically suspend your license for a year. There will be a DMV hearing, and they rarely reverse, even if you are found not guilty in court. DMV acts on their own and are pretty draconian about it. If you refused to submit to a chemical test its 2 years. Unfortunately there is little wiggle room here. Interlock device on your second is highly likely too, but I got out of that.
Believe me, I know what you are going through.. Lots of guilt and uncertainties to "whats going to happen????".. Hopefully my experience helps give you insight on what to expect, but again several variables come into play.
It's rough but again your life is not over. Best thing is to focus on one thing at a time, keep your school trajectory going, mentally prepare its going to be rough, but you will get through it. Do whatever possible to not get a 3rd, as the penalties in CA escalate substantially. Even though I still drink, my 2nd was a huge wake-up call.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 145
Agree with others to first seek a good attorney, no matter what the cost. He/she can navigate the system for you. From what I have seen here in FL, they hit those with DUI's most hardly in the pocketbook. I did have a friend many years ago with his THIRD DUI. He got a very well known DUI attorney and wouldn't you know the attorney somehow got the case dismissed.
Like your tag name says. "What's done is done". Yes, this will follow you for awhile, but as long as you don't go back to that person and work religiously on your sobriety, that is all that matters. Judges like to see progress and want to know you "learned your lesson".
My thoughts are with you. Maybe this was your "wake up" call? Try and turn all of this misery into a new path in life; that of Sobriety.
Like your tag name says. "What's done is done". Yes, this will follow you for awhile, but as long as you don't go back to that person and work religiously on your sobriety, that is all that matters. Judges like to see progress and want to know you "learned your lesson".
My thoughts are with you. Maybe this was your "wake up" call? Try and turn all of this misery into a new path in life; that of Sobriety.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 49
I appreciate everyone's insight and advice regarding my case, I wasn't sure if posting on here would result in me feeling better about anything but it has helped me a bit. Thank you guys. I wanted to state a few facts about my situation.
Firstly, this all happened in San Bernardino county. I did not refuse to the breath test or the blood test at the station. I did both. Secondly, I don't currently have the money to hire an attorney however I will at the end of October. Being that I blew a high number and it's only been a year and a half since my last DUI I figured there is nothing that a lawyer could do really besides take my money. I've read all kinds of stories on here of people spending 5 grand on lawyers who did nothing for them. Best case scenario I figure a lawyer can get me out of doing jail time, but I have no home, no car, no job, nothing right now. There's no real advantage to trying to avoid jail other than the fact that it sucks. I was even thinking about taking jail time in lieu of the fine they will give me. I heard from this guy In West Valley after I got picked up that I would probably do two weeks at the most then they would let me out because the jails are so full, then all I would have to worry about are my classes and the license suspension and possible AA. Thirdly, and I really want to drive this home...I am DONE drinking. Before this happened I wasn't a daily drinker, for me it's when I pick up that first drink that I screw myself. I don't particularly even like drinking alcohol, but when I do I can't stop, and I eventually get so drunk I end up doing something really dumb. I have no problem giving that up. Why did it take this for me to quit? That's a good question. I kept thinking I could control it somehow. Kept thinking I could maintain my buzz and still function normally. I was terribly wrong. I'm done drinking forever. Knowing that it has put me in the worst position of my life makes me hate alcohol. There is absolutely NO desire within me to drink and there hasn't been since this happened.
I know many of you probably assume that because this is my 2nd DUI I must have a problem with alcohol, and you're right, I do. But I don't need it. I can drop it and never pick it back up, it has single handedly destroyed my life. I hate it for that. I will never allow myself back into it's clutches knowing what I know now, being this broken and depressed and anxious is not worth anything. All the relationships I've ruined, all the embarrassing blackouts, losing my car and my home....I know in my heart that I'm done with it. I only wish my resolve was this strong before I got pulled over.
Ultimately, hiring a lawyer seems like a waste of money to me as he will probably only be able to get me out of doing jail time, which will be minimal anyway. I may be wrong. I have spoken to lawyers a few times since this happened and they've all told me the same thing: they are pretty sure they can get me out of jail but I will still be required to do 18 months of classes, I will lose my license for a year and I will have to pay a fine and do community service. Is a get out of jail card really worth it? I have no job right now.
Firstly, this all happened in San Bernardino county. I did not refuse to the breath test or the blood test at the station. I did both. Secondly, I don't currently have the money to hire an attorney however I will at the end of October. Being that I blew a high number and it's only been a year and a half since my last DUI I figured there is nothing that a lawyer could do really besides take my money. I've read all kinds of stories on here of people spending 5 grand on lawyers who did nothing for them. Best case scenario I figure a lawyer can get me out of doing jail time, but I have no home, no car, no job, nothing right now. There's no real advantage to trying to avoid jail other than the fact that it sucks. I was even thinking about taking jail time in lieu of the fine they will give me. I heard from this guy In West Valley after I got picked up that I would probably do two weeks at the most then they would let me out because the jails are so full, then all I would have to worry about are my classes and the license suspension and possible AA. Thirdly, and I really want to drive this home...I am DONE drinking. Before this happened I wasn't a daily drinker, for me it's when I pick up that first drink that I screw myself. I don't particularly even like drinking alcohol, but when I do I can't stop, and I eventually get so drunk I end up doing something really dumb. I have no problem giving that up. Why did it take this for me to quit? That's a good question. I kept thinking I could control it somehow. Kept thinking I could maintain my buzz and still function normally. I was terribly wrong. I'm done drinking forever. Knowing that it has put me in the worst position of my life makes me hate alcohol. There is absolutely NO desire within me to drink and there hasn't been since this happened.
I know many of you probably assume that because this is my 2nd DUI I must have a problem with alcohol, and you're right, I do. But I don't need it. I can drop it and never pick it back up, it has single handedly destroyed my life. I hate it for that. I will never allow myself back into it's clutches knowing what I know now, being this broken and depressed and anxious is not worth anything. All the relationships I've ruined, all the embarrassing blackouts, losing my car and my home....I know in my heart that I'm done with it. I only wish my resolve was this strong before I got pulled over.
Ultimately, hiring a lawyer seems like a waste of money to me as he will probably only be able to get me out of doing jail time, which will be minimal anyway. I may be wrong. I have spoken to lawyers a few times since this happened and they've all told me the same thing: they are pretty sure they can get me out of jail but I will still be required to do 18 months of classes, I will lose my license for a year and I will have to pay a fine and do community service. Is a get out of jail card really worth it? I have no job right now.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: California
Posts: 339
Hey I had a second DUI, it will all be ok. Had it about 3 years back. You will drive again don't you worry ! Most def keep your education going. Being sober will help you be very productive and you will need school as an outlet. I'm pretty sure you will be getting a minimum of 30 days in jail. So I'd at least put this semester on hold until you know the results in court. Soon as you get out go right back to school. Attend AA meetings in the mean time they have a sheet where you can sign in and get a written signature to prove you attended. Also you will most likely have to pay 1,000 dollars for your DUI ...you can ask for community service to help pay those fees. It may seem like your life is over, BUT it's not...it's the beginning of an incredible journey of sobriety. Just hold yourself accountable. I'd write your mother a letter explaining to her that this has opened up your eyes and from this moment forward you are going to make a change for the best. I hope you know that this doesn't make you a bad person...it just makes you stronger! Sometimes we just need that lesson we don't want to learn to slap us back to reality. You can always message me if you need the extra support. I'm here for you !
DOS: 08-16-2012
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Central Iowa
Posts: 365
"I know many of you probably assume that because this is my 2nd DUI I must have a problem with alcohol, and you're right, I do. But I don't need it. I can drop it and never pick it back up, it has single handedly destroyed my life. I hate it for that. I will never allow myself back into it's clutches knowing what I know now, being this broken and depressed and anxious is not worth anything. All the relationships I've ruined, all the embarrassing blackouts, losing my car and my home....I know in my heart that I'm done with it. I only wish my resolve was this strong before I got pulled over."
You have 2 OWIs in a year and a half.... you have a real problem. You've lost everything and yet you continued to drink yourself into a second OWI.... you have a real problem. Sounds like you are already telling yourself that you can handle drinking but you will simply choose not to drink. I'm sure you said that after your first OWI. You really need to get into a program to change your life. Just saying you are stopping isn't enough. That will only last a short time and you'll be off and running again. You have to take action. I think getting to an AA meeting and starting work with a sponsor would greatly improve your life and help assure you can indeed have a future without alcohol.
You have 2 OWIs in a year and a half.... you have a real problem. You've lost everything and yet you continued to drink yourself into a second OWI.... you have a real problem. Sounds like you are already telling yourself that you can handle drinking but you will simply choose not to drink. I'm sure you said that after your first OWI. You really need to get into a program to change your life. Just saying you are stopping isn't enough. That will only last a short time and you'll be off and running again. You have to take action. I think getting to an AA meeting and starting work with a sponsor would greatly improve your life and help assure you can indeed have a future without alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 874
This happened two weeks ago? Have you had any alcohol since then?
If you go to jail because you have no place else to go, when you get out in 30 days (or so) will your options have changed?
I'd still seek out the advice of a lawyer. He/she may be able to help so that you have a lesser charge on your record. That may be beneficial as you go through life and have to reveal your legal history to employers or organizations.
It is hard to give up alcohol at any age and regardless of your drinking patterns (meaning daily, weekly, binging, whatever). But lots of us have done it and can relate to your situation.
Don't give up - the silver lining is that you can stop now.
If you go to jail because you have no place else to go, when you get out in 30 days (or so) will your options have changed?
I'd still seek out the advice of a lawyer. He/she may be able to help so that you have a lesser charge on your record. That may be beneficial as you go through life and have to reveal your legal history to employers or organizations.
It is hard to give up alcohol at any age and regardless of your drinking patterns (meaning daily, weekly, binging, whatever). But lots of us have done it and can relate to your situation.
Don't give up - the silver lining is that you can stop now.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 16
Good Observation
The point about this person likely living to age 80 is helpful. We all need to remember that hardships can be temporary.
Originally Posted by Zebra1275 
At 26 with a second DUI your life is far from over.
Sure, things look dismal right now. But get your butt to AA to help you get sober, get an attorney to help you navigate your legal situation, and spend a lot of time on this website.
You sound like you are beating yourself up, playing "worst case scenarios" in your head. AA can really help with that. Go to a lot of meetings in the next few weeks to turn your drinking around and to demonstrate to a judge that your are committed to getting sober.
At 26, statistically you will probably live to age 80. You have a hell of a lot of good years ahead of you. You can recover from this!
Sure, things look dismal right now. But get your butt to AA to help you get sober, get an attorney to help you navigate your legal situation, and spend a lot of time on this website.
You sound like you are beating yourself up, playing "worst case scenarios" in your head. AA can really help with that. Go to a lot of meetings in the next few weeks to turn your drinking around and to demonstrate to a judge that your are committed to getting sober.
At 26, statistically you will probably live to age 80. You have a hell of a lot of good years ahead of you. You can recover from this!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 16
Mandatory Penalties Usually Apply
Unfortunately, judges must impose at least the minimum mandatory penalty when a person is convicted of a DUI (licence suspension, fine, Ignition Interlock, sometimes jail, etc). The judge will not lower these penalties because you have stopped drinking. Quitting drinking would only help in court in more serious cases involving injury or death that may result in substantial imprisonment. That said, there is sometimes a chance a good lawyer can keep you from getting convicted. But it’s all about what the prosecutor can prove, not whether or not you are guilty. I wish this 26-year-old all the best.
Originally Posted by KES06
Agree with others to first seek a good attorney, no matter what the cost. He/she can navigate the system for you. From what I have seen here in FL, they hit those with DUI's most hardly in the pocketbook. I did have a friend many years ago with his THIRD DUI. He got a very well known DUI attorney and wouldn't you know the attorney somehow got the case dismissed.
Like your tag name says. "What's done is done". Yes, this will follow you for awhile, but as long as you don't go back to that person and work religiously on your sobriety, that is all that matters. Judges like to see progress and want to know you "learned your lesson".
My thoughts are with you. Maybe this was your "wake up" call? Try and turn all of this misery into a new path in life; that of Sobriety.
Like your tag name says. "What's done is done". Yes, this will follow you for awhile, but as long as you don't go back to that person and work religiously on your sobriety, that is all that matters. Judges like to see progress and want to know you "learned your lesson".
My thoughts are with you. Maybe this was your "wake up" call? Try and turn all of this misery into a new path in life; that of Sobriety.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
It is natural when we are in a difficult situation to swear off alcohol for good and focus solely on the consequence while being highly remorseful. Perhaps some attention to causes and conditions are in order.
Certainly being proactive prior to any court appearances may bode well for the judges outcome, but most importantly for your well being long term. Have you considered investigation of any programs for alcohol abuse?
You don't have to drink again, ever but may find support helpful. For many of us as things got better the decision to drink again got hold of us and dragged us into pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization.
Recovery is body, mind and spirit being in balance and a great way to live.
Welcome
Certainly being proactive prior to any court appearances may bode well for the judges outcome, but most importantly for your well being long term. Have you considered investigation of any programs for alcohol abuse?
You don't have to drink again, ever but may find support helpful. For many of us as things got better the decision to drink again got hold of us and dragged us into pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization.
Recovery is body, mind and spirit being in balance and a great way to live.
Welcome
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