8 months in....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 3
8 months in....
I had been struggling with alcohol for about a year and a half. Because I have an issue with depression getting drunk would lead me to cutting myself. 8 months ago on Christmas night I got really drunk, had an argument with my husband and put a huge gash on my calf, I ended up going to emergency in the middle of a blizzard. The next day my family (husband, sister, brother in law, mom and dad) basically told me that I needed to stop drinking or they would no longer be there for me. So for the past 8 months I have struggled to stay sobber, in actuality it has only been 5 months since I touched alcohol. My problem is that both my sister and I are alcoholics, my sister longer than me (at least 2 years longer). Now that I don't drink our relationship has completely changed. We live 5 hours away from each other but always made sure that we saw each other about 4-5 times a year and we texted and talked on the phone all the time. It has been 8 months and she only talks to me occasionally when I text or call her, even then she ignores me! My sister is my best friend and I feel like I have lost her, it makes me want to go back to drinking again just so I can have her back in my life.... does anyone have any advice for me?
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Dawn 
My relationship with my family got weird when I quit - but eventually they saw I was a lot happier and healthier and today our relationship is the best it's ever been
I don't recommend going back drinking - you may have to deal with something far worse than a gashed calf next time.
Who knows? your continued sobriety may inspire your sister to do the same.
My relationship with my family got weird when I quit - but eventually they saw I was a lot happier and healthier and today our relationship is the best it's ever been
I don't recommend going back drinking - you may have to deal with something far worse than a gashed calf next time.
Who knows? your continued sobriety may inspire your sister to do the same.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 3
My mom and dad are super supportive and proud of me, but all I want is my best friend back in my life (my sister). Before I started drinking (she already had a problem with alcohol) we were super close and our relationship didn't change when I started drinking. Now she feels more like an acquaintance than my sister/best friend!!! My heart is broken 💔💔💔
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: London
Posts: 33
Hi Dawn. I have a twin brother and totally understand how it must hurt to ferl like you've lost your sis. Do you know why she's distanced herself? May not be what you think. If it is because she's uncomfortable with you not drinking she's in the minority here.. everyone else WANTS you to stop. Might just suggest you sisters thinking is slightly off and she's got her own stuff going on.
Bottom line is you are going to lose relationships if you start again (and a whole lot more). Who's to say your sis would be happy!
Stick with it Dawn....things will work out.
Bottom line is you are going to lose relationships if you start again (and a whole lot more). Who's to say your sis would be happy!
Stick with it Dawn....things will work out.
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Derbyshire Dales, UK.
Posts: 2,618
I agree and am thinking with you living 5 hours apart, you don't 100% know what she's got going on in her own life, right now.
I'd reassure her that you love her unconditionally and leave the ball in her court.
Also, be aware that the AV is cunning and wants to give you reasons to drink.
Sounds like you need to be strong for both of you for now.
x
I'd reassure her that you love her unconditionally and leave the ball in her court.
Also, be aware that the AV is cunning and wants to give you reasons to drink.
Sounds like you need to be strong for both of you for now.
x
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 328
Hi Dawn good to meet you
As above booze will add nothing but misery to this or any other situation.
Congrats on 5 months sober and keep it up.
All you can do is be happy with how you conduct yourself through this period. Unfortunately you can’t control or perhaps even influence your sisters behaviour or responses.
You can however make it clear that you care for her deeply, make yourself available to her, let her know that you miss her a great deal and would love to spend some time together, talking,meeting whatever.
When I was drinking heavily I would cut myself off from a very close and loving family who live 15 minutes away, perhaps ur sis is going through her own issues and all you can do is let her know you are there and always will be.
A sober and present in the moment you will be better for this and your sister In the long run so keep going and be good to yourself.
As above booze will add nothing but misery to this or any other situation.
Congrats on 5 months sober and keep it up.
All you can do is be happy with how you conduct yourself through this period. Unfortunately you can’t control or perhaps even influence your sisters behaviour or responses.
You can however make it clear that you care for her deeply, make yourself available to her, let her know that you miss her a great deal and would love to spend some time together, talking,meeting whatever.
When I was drinking heavily I would cut myself off from a very close and loving family who live 15 minutes away, perhaps ur sis is going through her own issues and all you can do is let her know you are there and always will be.
A sober and present in the moment you will be better for this and your sister In the long run so keep going and be good to yourself.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: London
Posts: 33
Originally Posted by Silverback4 
Hi Dawn good to meet you
As above booze will add nothing but misery to this or any other situation.
Congrats on 5 months sober and keep it up.
All you can do is be happy with how you conduct yourself through this period. Unfortunately you can’t control or perhaps even influence your sisters behaviour or responses.
You can however make it clear that you care for her deeply, make yourself available to her, let her know that you miss her a great deal and would love to spend some time together, talking,meeting whatever.
When I was drinking heavily I would cut myself off from a very close and loving family who live 15 minutes away, perhaps ur sis is going through her own issues and all you can do is let her know you are there and always will be.
A sober and present in the moment you will be better for this and your sister In the long run so keep going and be good to yourself.
As above booze will add nothing but misery to this or any other situation.
Congrats on 5 months sober and keep it up.
All you can do is be happy with how you conduct yourself through this period. Unfortunately you can’t control or perhaps even influence your sisters behaviour or responses.
You can however make it clear that you care for her deeply, make yourself available to her, let her know that you miss her a great deal and would love to spend some time together, talking,meeting whatever.
When I was drinking heavily I would cut myself off from a very close and loving family who live 15 minutes away, perhaps ur sis is going through her own issues and all you can do is let her know you are there and always will be.
A sober and present in the moment you will be better for this and your sister In the long run so keep going and be good to yourself.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 3
Thanks everyone! I think everyone is right. I also believe that my sobriety makes her feel guilty like she should be getting sober. We are going to be seeing each other for thanksgiving so I will definitely be able to gauge how she is feeling when we see each other in person. Honestly thank-you for the advice😊
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