Scared2day

My 27 year old son called me last Monday to say he was addicted to heroin and needed help. I asked if he was sober and if he could drive. When he said he was I told him to come to me and I would take care of everything. Within a matter of 7 hours he was detoxing and on his way to a 28 day lock down facility. We had no idea, and missed a lot of red flags explained away by him. He does not live with us, but was a frequent visitor as he lived close by. He would spend most evenings at our home after work and worked full time in a management position. I am feeling blindsided and overwhelmed. He has completed his first week and is determined and working hard. My fear is for when he gets out. He will move in with us indefinitely, and we are setting up precautions. How do you let them out of your sight ever again? How do you trust? I have eliminated all his social media, and am working with his very understanding employer who is holding his job for him. We are in an epidemic area and I fear letting him out again to try and live a normal life when you can drive a few blocks and be offered heroin at any gas station. I need some guidance. We will attend our first family counseling session this weekend. We have ordered drug test kits, and have scheduled narcan training and pick up of supplies. Help!!

Anna

I'm sorry for your situation.

I hope that your son decides to continue his recovery when he leaves rehab. If he wants to be sober, he will be able to do that. But, if he wants to use drugs, he will. You won't be able to prevent it. That said, it's good that you are offering him support. Family counselling sounds like a good idea. It will be very important for you and your husband to take care of yourselves during this time.

You will find lots of support here for you and your husband. You might like to check out our Friends & Family of Substance Abusers forum:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...tance-abusers/

Jules714

I'm sorry to hear this. Sadly it is seemingly an epidemic everywhere. I would highly suggest AL ANON for the family and NA &/or AA for your son. He's going to have to be out of your sight at some point and there isn't much you can do. Hopefully he can stay in rehab for more than 30 days.
Support for him is great, don't forget about you though!
Best of luck,
Jules

dwtbd

Sorry to hear about your son.

Unconditional permanent abstinence will set and keep him free from this addiction for the rest of his life.

Focusing on anything less won't help him , instill that idea in him , it's the only way to help. Alcohol and drug use 'feels' good , great in a lot of cases, that isn't something to be feared or covered up, but it must be dealt with. The desire itself isn't what 'causes' addiction , giving into or acting to satisfy the desire does.

He needs to learn that , to help himself.

Google AVRT/RR , look for a copy of J Trimpey's Rational Recovery: The New Cure For Substance Addiction, in it is a section for family members and guidance for the best way to help.

Wish you well and hope to see you around

least

Welcome to the family. I suggest you set boundaries for when he's living with you. What you will not tolerate. And keep your word. If he chooses to challenge those boundaries, be prepared to kick him out.

Let him know you love him and support him, but also that you won't tolerate wrongdoing.

Dee74

Hi and welcoem Scared2day
this is a place of great support and I'm glad you're here.

You obviously love your son dearly and that a good thing to have in his corner

You might also want to check out our Family and Friends forums too for even more support here at SR

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/#friends-family

D

CRRHCC

I feel your pain. My oldest son was a heroin addict. We kicked him out of the house and he lived on the street, often sleeping in his truck. Sometimes he would sleep in his car, right in front of our house, in case the police roused him. I never knew if he would wake up again.

Five years later he is a new man. He went to detox, then rehab. Suboxone kept his cravings at bay while he changed his thinking and changed his life. What really made the difference was the combination of a loving family and his finding real values and purpose in life. You can't teach these things but you can help your loved one find them. When good values trump your addiction.........there is no addiction.

mielz

Your strength for him is admirable n ur whiling to not enable going forward will be one of the best things u can do . U need support too n I hope u have it around u it will def be found here for u as well